


Standards and Protocol (Fuck ‘Em)

by VotePleaseForTheLoveOfGodVote



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Royalty, And I mean slow, Basically another boarding school au, F/F, F/M, M/M, STRAP IN FOLKS, Slow Burn, more relationships and characters to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 65,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VotePleaseForTheLoveOfGodVote/pseuds/VotePleaseForTheLoveOfGodVote
Summary: Will, Arthur Pendragon goes to my school.What kind of arseholes whose last name is Pendragon name their kid Arthur? Fucking monarchist twatsNopeNope?I mean, I imagine his father is a monarchist considering the fact that he’s the bloody king of England.Well fuckWhen Merlin gets a scholarship to Camlann Academy, one of the most prestigious secondary schools in all of Britain, he seizes the chance. But when he finds himself in class with the actual honest to god Prince of Wales, he thinks maybe he should have taken his chances at Ealdor Secondary, leaky roofs and all.When Arthur finds out he’s about to be outed on an international scale, he does the only rational thing there is to do: ignore his feelings for the cute boy in his class. Morgana doesn’t agree that it’s entirely rational.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 463
Kudos: 848





	1. Chapter One

Arthur Pendragon goes to my school. 

_What kind of assholes whose last name is Pendragon names their kid Arthur? Fucking monarchist twats_

Nope

_Nope?_

I mean, I imagine his father is a monarchist considering the fact that he’s the bloody king of England. 

_Well fuck_

“Mr. Emrys!” Merlin looked up from his phone and saw the whole class staring at him. He flushed. He was entirely sure that Ms. Davenport already hated him so this probably wasn’t a good thing.

To be fair, Merlin almost never texted in class. Today, however, was an exception, and an exception Merlin felt was justifiable, thanks very much. It was only his third day of classes at Camlann Academy and the seat two rows in front of him and three seats left had been empty for the previous two. Merlin wasn’t always great at making friends but would it have killed someone to tell him that the heir to the bloody throne was his classmate? 

Not that it affected Merlin; not at all. Sure, maybe it was weird to have royalty in your class and yes, perhaps a bit awkward as well, but Merlin honestly didn’t care. He figured Will would be infuriated by it though and Merlin never passed up a chance to infuriate Will. He had long since stopped caring about his best friend’s antimonarchist rants. It wasn’t exactly that he disagreed, it was just that there was only so many times he could listen to his mother and Will bicker before giving up. 

Hunith, as opposed to Will, loved the monarchy. No, she didn’t think they should have ruling power but she did feel that the royal family was “a symbol of British heritage and tradition. It brings honor and prestige to the people of Britain, Will. Isn’t that right, Merlin?” That’s how it always went. Then Will would respond that tradition wasn’t always a good thing. “Slavery was a tradition too.” Then Merlin would have to defend his mother and point out that having slavery and having a figurehead really weren’t the same thing and that his mother was by no means advocating for bringing slavery back. Will would get pissed off and storm out, only to return an hour later for supper and spend the rest of the night bantering happily with Hunith, as if nothing had happened. Frankly, Merlin didn’t think that if he kept listening he would have survived much longer.

Regardless, that was the extent to which Merlin gave a flying fuck about the Pendragons. As long as his mother and his best friend weren’t fighting about them, he would rather not think about them at all. But now he didn’t really have a choice, did he? It’s very easy to not think about something when it’s not sitting right in front of you. Literally. 

“Care to share with the class what is so important that it couldn’t wait?” Ms. Davenport really didn’t like Merlin. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was working class or because he wasn’t as robotically deferential as the rest of his peers, but it was definitely one of the two. Either way, her distaste for his company hadn’t stopped her from approaching him and lecturing him about the state of his uniform the past three days in the dinning hall. 

“Not really, no.” Merlin could have sworn he heard a noise somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle but he couldn’t tell which direction it came from. 

“Too bad. Either you can share or I would be more than happy to read it aloud for you.” She raised her eyebrow in what Merlin supposed was an attempt to be intimidating. Unfortunately for her, no simple eyebrow raise could affect him; not after growing up around Uncle Gaius. 

Merlin sighed and picked his phone back up. He glanced nervously around the room. Oh well, he thought. Not like the people here were going to like me anyway.

“To Will: Arthur Pendragon goes to my school.” A few boys chuckled. “From Will: What kind of assholes whose last name is Pendragon names their kid Arthur? Fucking monarchist twats.” 

“Language!”

“You told me to read the messages, Ms. Davenport. To Will: Nope. From Will: Nope? To Will: I mean, I imagine his father is a monarchist considering the fact that he’s the bloody king of England.” By now, a couple of the boys behind him were full on laughing. Merlin wasn’t sure if it was at him or because they thought the texts were funny. “From Will: Well fuck.”

“That’s more than enough, Mr. Em-”

“Oh! Here comes another text now. Would you like me to read it?”

“Mr. Emrys!”

“From Will: By the way, how’s that asshole teacher Davenport treating you? Is she still thick as the day is long?”

“Enough! Detention, Mr. Emrys.” 

All right, so maybe he had made that last one up. But in his defense, he knew he was going to get detention anyway so he might as well have some fun. After all, she had been the one who forced him to humiliate himself. 

Ms. Davenport had lost control of the classroom now. Boys were laughing and generally being obnoxious. Gwaine, one of the only boys who had bothered to introduce himself to Merlin, turned around and gave him a thumbs up and the broadest grin he had ever seen. Leon, who was sitting next to Arthur Pendragon himself, leaned forward and swatted Gwaine on the back of the head. 

Merlin shifted his attention to the Prince, who was still diligently taking notes from the board and pointedly not looking at anybody else. He started to feel a little guilty. It was possible that Arthur was a pompous prat with a stick up his arse like Will said he probably was, but Merlin didn’t know him and either way, he hadn’t meant to embarrass him or make him uncomfortable. Leon whispered something to him but he just shook his head. Leon turned and exchanged looks with Gwaine and Percival, another one of the boys who had been relatively kind to Merlin. 

“Everybody quiet! This instant! The next person to speak out of turn will be receiving three weeks of Saturday detention with me!” Instant silence reigned. “Good. Mr. Emrys, step outside with me a moment, if you please. The rest of you, copy what’s on the board and be silent.”

The hallway was empty when they stepped out of the classroom, but Merlin almost wished that it was packed. Mouthing off to an authority figure when he was with a group of his peers was one thing, but Merlin never really was one for one on ones with people that weren’t his mum, Will, Gwen, Freya, or Uncle Gaius. He kept his circle of friends small and didn’t trust easily. That was the way he liked it. He hadn’t expected that to change at Camlann Academy, but he had hoped that if he kept his head down it wouldn’t matter. So much for that. 

“What was that, Mr. Emrys?”

“What was what?” This is the point where Uncle Gaius would roll his eyes. He had no tolerance for Merlin being purposely obtuse. 

“That was an entirely inappropriate display.”

“You asked me to read my texts, Ms. Davenport.”

“Regardless, it was inappropriate. You shouldn’t have been texting in class in the first place! And how do you think those particular messages reflect on you, hmm? Or on Camlann as an institution?” Her face was getting uncomfortably red as she tried to steady her voice and keep quiet. To Merlin, this was scarier than it would have been had she been shouting. 

“Do you mean Arthur? I didn’t say anything bad about-”

“Are you his friend?” She spat. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Are you Prince Arthur’s friend?”

“Umm…no?” Now Merlin was genuinely confused. Was she suggesting that she would be more lenient on him if he was friends with the Prince? “We’ve never even spoken before. I’ve only been here three days and he was absent the first two.”

“As I thought. Yet you called him by his Christian name.” Merlin suppressed an eye roll at the terminology. “Camlann boys are always poised and refined, Mr. Emrys. You will observe the proper protocol and refer to the Prince as His Royal Highness unless he gives you the privilege of doing otherwise.” 

“I thought we were supposed to treat everyone with the same amount of respect.” He argued back. He may have had to sit through a three and a half hour computer orientation seminar, but at least he retained some of the information. 

“Yes. And part of that is addressing people properly.” Now Merlin had to fight really hard not to roll his eyes. “Addressing you as Mr. Emrys is the proper way for me to do it. Addressing the Prince as His Royal Highness or sir is the proper way for you to do it.”

“Ms. Davenport-”

“Maybe you were unaware of how to address royalty before. That’s understandable.” She smiled a disingenuously sweet smile. “Especially considering your…upbringing. Perhaps I could find some sort of pamphlet for you, hmm?”

Merlin blushed. He knew he should be angry but he couldn’t help but to be embarrassed. If it wasn’t clear to him before coming to Camlann, the past few days had made it clear: everyone here was loaded. Everyone. It was hard not to feel bad about himself when he and his mum had trouble making rent and the people in his dorm wore four hundred pound cologne. 

Going in, Merlin knew he would have trouble adjusting and making friends, though that wasn’t anything new. Freya told him to just be himself. “Seriously? He’s trying to make friends, not audition for a bunch of new bullies,” Will had not-so-helpfully commented. Hunith said she agreed with Freya but Merlin could tell just by looking at her eyes that she was worried. 

Luckily, Gwen was nearby. Two years ago, Gwen’s father got a job working as a groundskeeper at Camlann Academy. Unfortunately, that meant they had to move. But Tom was the only reason Merlin’s application even made it onto the desk of someone who could do something with it. Gwen lived only two blocks from campus and he was hoping to see her on the weekends. She was already planning for Freya and Will to come visit soon. Freya was wholeheartedly on board, squeaking with excitement when Gwen had suggested it during the weekly video chat the four of them did. Will had only rolled his eyes but they all knew that meant he was in. Even now, being berated in the hallway by the teacher from hell, warmth blossomed in his chest at the thought of his three closest friends and how much he loved them. 

Merlin knew he was going to have to suck it up and apologize. The people he loved made a lot of sacrifices to get him here and he wasn’t going to screw it up over something as stupid and insignificant as his pride. He was well aware of the fact that Davenport already wanted him gone and that she wasn’t the only one. Several of Merlin’s teachers seemed less than happy to have him around. He sighed. 

“I apologize, Ms. Davenport.”

“Good,” She huffed. “Back inside now, Mr. Emrys. Class will be dismissed in another minute or two anyhow.” 

Upon returning to his seat, Merlin found a post-it on top of his notebook. Let your boyfriend know we say hi. How does Will’s cock taste, fag? 

For what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes, Merlin sighed. It was going to be a long semester. 

_____________________________________________

_“So he just what, sat there? I told you he was a twat.”_

“Well what was he supposed to do? Defend me?”

_“Yes!”_

“And how would that have gone? ‘Excuse me, Ms. Davenport, but as the messages pertained to me, I should be allowed to pass judgement. Therefore, I rule that Mr. Emrys is allowed to call you thick.’”

Will was silent for a moment. _“Is that how you think posh people talk?”_

He rolled his eyes despite knowing that Will couldn’t see him. Merlin was currently sitting in a stairwell in the science building, hoping to avoid contact with any other human beings. He hadn’t spoken to anyone since Davenport’s class ended and seeing as it was the last class of the day, he hoped he wouldn’t have to until at least tomorrow. Will didn’t count.

“Fuck off. Look, I shouldn’t even be talking to you. I have to go to detention soon and I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast.”

_“What? Why not?”_ Silence. _“Merlin?”_

“I got lost on the way to the dinning hall.” He admitted. Will laughed. 

_“That’s funny half because you’re a moron and half because they call it a dinning hall. Just say cafeteria like the rest of us, you tossers.”_

“Hey! I’m one of those tossers now, thanks very much.”

_“Please, Merlin, you’ll never be one of them. I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just…you’re Merlin, you know?”_

“I’m really not sure how to take that.”

_“You know how I feel about them so take it as a compliment.”_

“All right.” Merlin sighed and switched hands, pressing the mobile to his other ear. “How’s school?” 

_“Same as always. Bit more boring than usual without you. Martin got suspended again.”_

“Yeah? What did he do now?”

_“Called Mrs. O’Brian a toad.”_ He chuckled. Unsurprising and pretty tame considering the insanity that was Ealdor Secondary School. 

“Why?”

_“She hit his car pulling out of the parking lot.”_

“Wow. Still, hardly seems worth suspension.”

_“Fair enough. All right, well maybe it was that he came back the next day with a baseball bat and smashed her headlights.”_

“Oh my god!” He laughed. He could imagine Mrs. O’Brian’s face, purple and shaking. “Is it bad that that kind of thing makes me miss school at home already? I think most of the students here would rather die than call their teacher a toad, let alone have a go at her car with a bat.”

_“Don’t know. Maybe? Can’t exactly blame you though. I was in the parking lot when it happened and it was magical.”_

Merlin scoffed. “Have you seen mum since I left?” He asked, not bothering with a segue. He tried not to sound worried but Will knew him too well.

_“She’s fine, Merls. I saw her yesterday. Went over to say hi and to see if she needed anything. I’m going over for supper tonight.”_

He nodded to himself. “Good. Great. Thanks. I appreciate it.”

_“Nothing to appreciate. I love her too.”_

“Yeah.”

_“Stop worrying.”_

Merlin snorted. “Unlikely.”

_“Yeah, well, at least give it a try. You’re going to town with Gwen this weekend, yeah?”_

“That’s the plan.”

_“Think you’ll find something?”_

“Maybe? I don’t know. Gwen said probably. Though I don’t know if anyone would just hire weekend help. Might have to get permission to leave campus during the week.”

_“They’ll let you?”_

“We’ll find out.”

_“Wankers. All right, go eat something. Have fun in detention!”_

“Piss off.”

_“Yes, sir.”_

“Say hi to my mum for me. Tell her I’ll call tomorrow.”

_“Should I tell her of your heroic exploits?”_

“Absolutely not! I’ll tell her tomorrow. Not a word, Will.” 

He laughed. _“I wasn’t actually going to.”_

Merlin stayed quiet for a moment. Will wasn’t a particularly mushy feely kind of person, but Merlin was. Sometimes his best friend could tolerate it, and sometimes he couldn’t. But when Merlin was panicking or anxious or when Will was worried that Merlin was panicking and anxious, he could get away with being genuine for a minute. 

“I love you.”

_“I love you too, mate. Now go. We’ll talk this weekend, yeah? And just text me if you need anything.”_

“Yeah. Same here. Bye.”

_“Bye.”_

Merlin hung up and wiped his face and stinging eyes with one hand. He didn’t know why he was crying. He missed home, sure, but he was fine. Worried about his mum? Sure. Worried about finding a job? Absolutely. But he’d had worse days in the past and would continue to have worse days in the future. He couldn’t help it though. 

He knew he should be thankful he could come to Camlann Academy. And he was. Almost everyone who graduated from here went on to Oxbridge or LSE, some to an Ivy League in America. Merlin wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to do with his life, but he knew he wanted to get a good education, and Camlann offered one of the best. Besides, his mum had been so excited about the idea. He’d never seen her as proud as she was when he got his acceptance letter. 

It was a little odd to transfer in the middle of October, but Merlin couldn’t leave home until then. They’d been so behind on rent that he literally could not afford to leave his job at the grocery store a few months ago. Hunith tried her best to convince him to go and that she could handle it but Merlin wouldn’t budge. The bursar had been very kind and understanding, but most of his teachers were not. Despite his wishes to the contrary, they had all been informed of his situation. The bursar had said that if the teaching staff knew why he was starting late they would be better able to help him. Yeah. That had worked out. 

His peers also thought it was weird. They didn’t know why he was late but they commented on it enough. He’d heard several comments in the halls already from students who didn’t know he was around. Come to think of it, some of them might have seen him and just not cared. 

“Excuse me, are you all right?” The voice from above him startled Merlin, but he kept his head down, embarrassed. He had never been very good at stopping his tears when he needed to. He scrubbed his face roughly several times. 

“Fine, thanks.”

“You don’t seem it.”

“No. I appreciate it but I’d rather be alone if you don’t mind.” 

“Well, I’d leave but you’re sorta blocking the stairs.” The voice seemed agitated now. 

“Right, sorry. Let me just,” Merlin stood and looked up as he spoke, but whatever else he was going to say died in his throat. Stood before him was Arthur Bloody Pendragon himself. 

Oh, right, sorry, Ms. Davenport. His Royal Fucking Highness, Arthur Bloody Pendragon.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Morgana have no idea what Uther needs to talk to them about and get a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uther might be a little ooc in this chapter but to be fair, in this universe he doesn’t lose his mind and try to kill all magic users. I tried to strike a balance between having him be stern and being a decent human being. Let me know what you think.

“I heard about what happened in your biology class today.” 

“What? How?” 

“Gwaine texted me.”

“Of course he did.” Arthur looked down at his plate, cutting his steak precisely, suddenly very interested in it. Morgana smirked. 

“Come on, Arthur! It’s funny.”

“It’s humiliating is what it is.” 

“For you or for the other boy?”

“I don’t know. Me? Him? Both? He didn’t seem very embarrassed.” Not then, anyway. Having found him crying in the stairwell gave him a different outlook. 

“It wasn’t even really about you in the end.”

“It definitely was, I think you’ll find.”

“No. How many times do I have to tell you this? His Royal Highness Prince Arthur Charles William Uther Pendragon of Wales and my little brother Arthur are two distinct people.”

“Well, regardless, I would have preferred for it not to have happened.” 

“Try to enjoy it. Wasn’t it a nice change from the monotony of that bitch’s teaching?”

“Morgana!”

“Oh please, Arthur, I put up with her as a tutor for three years, I can say what I want about her.” Arthur grunted. “When’s Uther coming back?” 

“How should I know?”

“Well, he called you home for a reason. He doesn’t just want to see you.” Arthur’s cheeks turned red against his will. “Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that he’s usually pretty strict about you staying in the dorms during the week and he was pissed that you already missed Monday and Tuesday.”

“I was in hospital.”

“He knows that. He’s not pissed at _you_.”

“Yeah he is.”

“Yeah, all right, he _is_ but he also knows that it isn’t rational. How are you feeling, by the way?”

“Fine.” He responded curtly. She snorted. 

“Right. Have you been actually taking the pain medication the doctor gave you?”

“Yes, of course I have.”

“So if I text Gwaine and ask him to count the pills left in the bottle, he’d tell me the same thing.”

“Piss off.”

“Ah, there he is! Seriously, take the pills.”

“I would if I needed them but I don’t because I feel fine.”

“You’re a terrible liar, did you know that? You might be able to fool the press, but not me. Not now, not ever. Not when it counts.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not supposed to mean anything.”

“Nothing you say ever means nothing.”

“Whatever. You’re in pain. Take the pills.”

“I’m really not.”

“Jesus, Arthur, being in pain isn’t a weakness. You had your appendix out three days ago. You shouldn’t even be in school! You hold yourself to a ridiculously high standard that no one can achieve, I get that. It’s Uther’s fault, not yours but-”

“It’s not his fault that-”

“But you still need to take care of yourself. For fuck’s sack, Arthur, take the goddamn pills.” 

They sat awkwardly for a moment. Well, it was awkward for Arthur. He wasn’t sure Morgana had ever felt awkward in her life. He tried his best to glare at her but the face she gave him - as if to say “don’t even bother, you know I’m not backing down” - made it hard to keep up. Luckily, or unlikely depending on the point of view, that was the moment Uther decided to open the door. 

“Ah, Arthur. Welcome home.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Morgana, darling. I see you’ve finally decided to grace the dinner table with your presence. It’s been weeks, has it not? In any case, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Well, I couldn’t miss whatever this is.”

“This?”

“Whatever you called Arthur home for.”

“Right, yes, well. Why don’t we wait until you’ve both finished eating and then we’ll discuss it.” It wasn’t a question. Arthur suddenly felt incredibly anxious about the whole thing. Uther was rarely so cryptic about whatever he wanted to say. The good news was that that meant he wasn’t mad at Arthur; when he was mad, no power on Earth would stop him from letting it be known as soon as he stepped out of the public eye. 

Arthur tried his best to find a balance between scarfing his food down and not making it look like he was scarfing his food down. Morgana, because she was an awful human being, at slowly and daintily. It reminded Arthur of the way Uther had always insisted she eat, and the fights they would have over it a few years back. It was a relief when he had given up on it; the King was stubborn but he knew a losing battle when he saw one. 

There had been a lot of these types of showdowns in the first few years Morgana lived with them. Arthur had been eight at the time, Morgana eleven. When her mother died and the press got wind of the fact that she was the King’s daughter from an affair he had had before he even met Arthur’s mother, there really had been no choice but to take her in. He remembered a lot of the palace staff worrying about him and thinking that he would feel jealous or pushed out by a new presence in Buckingham. On the contrary, he had been ecstatic. 

Arthur had been so lonely for so long and he couldn’t wait to have someone to play with. Almost immediately after Morgana arrived, he realized she didn’t feel the same way he did. She was never unkind to Arthur, not when she wasn’t teasing, but she was off in her own world. Her mother had just died and she had just found out that her biological father was not the one who had raised her but rather the stoic, cold and unhappy looking man who was a friend of her parents, and who just so happens to be the King. Arthur and Morgana had met several times before, and Morgana had even stayed with them for a month once when her mother was away, but they never became close. It was only natural that it would take some time, but eight year old Arthur was notoriously impatient with anything or anyone but his father.

He had made it a point to seek out Morgana at least twice a day in the hopes of getting her to play with him. He would even settle for her letting him just sit with her while she did her makeup or read a book or whatever it was girls did, but she always declined his invitation to play. It only changed one night just shy of three months into Morgana’s residency with them when Arthur had a terrible nightmare. His nurse had been given the night off and his father said he was too old for such childish things as sleeping in his bed. Arthur tried his best to get back to sleep but he couldn’t. The nightmare combined with the fact that there was thunder drove him out of his room, down the hall, and to the first place he could think of: Morgana’s room.

She had opened the door groggily and looked very confused to see Arthur there, tears running down his face. She picked him up gingerly and brought him to her bed. She got a glass of water and then listened to him talk about his nightmare. It had taken a few more hours to fall back asleep, even having been tucked in and in Morgana’s arms. She promised him that she would stay up with him and she did. Because the hour had been so late when they fell asleep, they were still asleep at noon the next day. It had been a Sunday, and on that day at the very least, the eight year old and eleven year old royals didn’t have many duties to attend to. Uther had come by to see Morgana during the short break he had between events, and found his children together in bed, asleep. He had tried to muster the energy to be annoyed at them for being asleep in the middle of the day but he couldn’t, and ended up finding it endearing. It’s still the only picture he has ever taken on his phone. 

After that, Morgana and Arthur were inseparable. They spent much of their free time together from then until Morgana went off to uni. They bickered often and mocked each other mercilessly but they were each other’s favorite people, even if neither of them would ever admit it. At the moment, however, Morgana was doing her very best to make her favorite person annoyed. 

When Morgana had finally finished her meal it felt as though hours had gone by. According to his watch, it was only about twelve minutes but that couldn’t have been right. 

“Let’s adjourn to your apartments, Arthur, shall we?” That was new. From the time Arthur was a little boy, Uther had taught him to, when possible, have the home advantage. Besides the few times he was terribly ill, Uther never visited his son’s living space. 

“‘Shall we?’” Morgana quoted in a whisper to him as they followed the King. “I’ll bet you a hundred pounds that he’s going to reveal that he was lying and he’s actually been a posh eighteenth century ghost this entire time.” Arthur ignored her. 

He held the door for his father and sister as they entered. Uther took a seat in the main room and waited for his children to sit on the seat opposite him. He didn’t speak for at least thirty seconds, which was a bit bizarre. Arthur couldn’t recall a time in his life that his father had ever been anything but well rehearsed and eloquent. Now, he seemed at a loss for words. 

“Do either of you remember my second cousin, Michael? Him, not just his name?” he began. They shook their heads. “Right, well, I hadn’t expected you to. Morgana, you’ve never met him. About thirty years ago he was caught in a…compromising position, let’s say, with another man.” Morgana and Arthur looked at each other briefly. “Of course, the press went crazy. They had never cared about him before but now that people knew he was a homosexual, they cared a great deal. Some of the newspapers were…not at all kind. I won’t repeat headlines, you both have access to the internet, even though I’d prefer if you refrained from searching for them out of respect for your family member, distant though he may be.

“My father was asked to comment and he refused. Michael came to him asking for support and he refused. So I drafted a press release myself.”

“You what?” Arthur gaped. 

“When Clarence House was asked for a statement, that’s what it released.”

“What did…what did it say?”

“I don’t remember all of the details but it criticized any newspaper that had printed the picture or used the story to show the Duke in a negative light. I also gave my full support to my cousin.”

“How did you get it through the press office?”

“Leon’s father, actually. He had a friend who was an intern and got us the password for the office's official email. We sent it out to every news outlet we could think of. An hour later it was on the BBC.” 

“What did grandfather say?”

“He was not happy, to say the least. I got in a lot of trouble but I was at university anyway, so I didn’t have to face his anger too much.” Uther chuckled. 

“How come we’ve never heard about this?” Morgana asked. 

“A week later the Berlin Wall came down and people forgot about it pretty quickly in favor of that. My father also worked very hard to push Michael out of the family after that. Two years later he moved to Montana with the man he was caught with. I know they got married when it became legal a few years ago. That’s why you’ve only met him once, Arthur, on a state visit to America. You were only four at the time.”

“Oh. Not to be…I don’t want to be disrespectful, Father, but why now? Why tell us this now? Not that I don’t appreciate knowing, I’m just wondering what-”

“I don’t want to be like my father, Arthur.” He looked at his father’s eyes, and saw that they were, for the first time in his memory, glossy. 

“What do you mean? I don’t understand?” Morgana was eerily silent and he looked over to see her biting her lip. Uther looked at her and when she quirked her head at him, he nodded softly. Arthur felt his sister grab his hand and looked at her in shock. “What’s happening right now? You’re both being weird.” 

Uther sighed, reached into his pocket and leaned forward, handing Arthur a folded piece of paper. It was crinkled and soft, as if damp hands had been running over it for a long time. He struggled to unfold it because Morgana had a death grip on his hand and refused to let it go. Finally, he got it open and understood the point of his father’s seemingly impromptu story. 

“I’m…that’s…is that me?” 

“You don’t remember?” his sister asked softly, almost whispering. 

“No, I mean, I do, I just…how did…I don’t understand.” He looked at Uther. “Father, I don’t understand.” 

On the paper was a picture of Arthur locked in what looked to be a passionate and messy kiss with another boy. It was blurry, but there was no doubt it was him. Arthur had been so careful. He had almost never gave in and when he did he was annoyingly paranoid about it, or so he was told. But here was the proof that he hadn’t been careful enough. Arthur wasn’t sure what to do. More than anything, he didn’t want to look at his father but he couldn’t stop doing so. Was he mad? Disappointed? Ashamed? Anything Arthur tried to say died in his throat for the first ninety seconds. They sat in silence. 

“Fa-Father, I’m-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Arthur.” He choked on a sob, preparing to be lashed out at and called a disgrace to the family by his only living parent. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong except maybe not closing the blinds. I told you that story so you would know that I will always support you and that I will not be my father.” 

He didn’t know what to say. This was all entirely uncharacteristic of Uther and he had certainly never been very supportive before. At the same time, he had never really made him feel unloved either. Sure, Gwaine was probably right when he said Arthur wasn’t hugged enough as a child, and Morgana was probably right that their father put a lot of pressure on them, but at the end of the day Arthur knew that he was loved, even if it was often at a distance. 

It wasn’t entirely a surprise that Uther didn’t hate him for liking men. He had always grumbled on about some the things he represented as the head of the church, and he ranted for days when UKIP went on one of their overzealous homophobic tirades, but Arthur never thought that extended so far as to being okay with his own son being gay. To be perfectly honest, Arthur wasn’t even sure if he _was_ gay. He’d been mildly interested in a few select girls before but he was definitely inclined towards men. He couldn’t imagine ending up with a woman, anyway, so he didn’t think that was entirely important to clarify that very second. Still, Uther not caring came as a shock. Because Morgana was (by some ridiculous medieval sounding technicality) considered illegitimate, she couldn’t be heir to the throne, not that she minded. She often teased Arthur about it and though he used to think it was out of some deep seeded jealousy, he had come to realize his sister legitimately had no interest in being crowned queen. That left Arthur as heir, which meant he was expected to eventually produce his own heir. In a lot of ways, Uther was extremely traditional and even if he supported the rights of homosexuals in general, Arthur hadn’t thought it was unreasonable to assume he would expect his son to marry a woman and have kids of his own. 

Sucking in a shaky breath, Arthur pushed through. “When did you get this? Who had it?”

“The Albion Sun.”

“Well isn’t that wonderful news?” Morgana spat sarcastically. 

“Morgana, please. I found out this morning. They said they wanted to give us a chance to comment. When was this taken, Arthur?”

“Umm I’m not sure. I think about two weeks ago? Sorry.”

“That’s all right. We’ve spoken to the editor and she’s agreed to hold off on publishing.”

“What? Why?”

“The deal was that if they didn’t publish then Arthur would come out by the new year and give an exclusive interview with one of their reporters.”

“What? You can’t just force your son to come out, let alone by helping the people who are forcing his hand!”

“He can give a statement or make a televised announcement first so long as for at least two months following, the only interview he gives on the subject is with them.”

“Still! How could you make this deal? It’s disgusting!”

“It’s the best I could do under the circumstances.”

“It’s fine, Morgana. I don’t have much of a choice anyway, do I?” 

“You always have a choice, Arthur.”

“Jesus, Morgana, my choices are do what they want or let them do it themselves! That would be nice, wouldn’t it? What better way to start your day than with a nice cuppa and the newspaper plastered with a picture of two seventeen year old boys snogging! It would be so much fun to go to class that morning.” Arthur was standing now and Morgana had sat back down. “What lovely conversations I’ll have with my teachers! ‘Morning, sir. Anything interesting in the news?’ ‘Oh not much, Arthur, just your makeout session with the boy from my third period class.’ Or with my classmates? Phys Ed’s sure to be a blast now that no one will so much as make eye contact with me in the locker room! Or how about my friends who don’t know? They’re never going to look at me the same way again! Yes, I’ll do the bloody fucking announcement and the bloody fucking interview if it means that at least when people stop talking to me, I’ll have advanced fucking warning and won’t out someone else in the process!” 

Arthur collapsed back onto the sofa, breathing heavily. He was surprised his father hadn’t reprimanded him for his language, but given the circumstances there were probably more pressing things to worry about. Morgana had tears rolling down her cheeks and it made him feel immediately guilty. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“I’m sorry, Morgs. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s not your fault. I’m not angry with you.”

“I know.” She sniffled in what Uther would usually call an unladylike manner. “I just wish this wasn’t happening to you.”

“Son,” Uther began. “I’m truly sorry that it’s come to this.”

“I’m just…why aren’t you making me deny it?”

“What? Arthur, I would never try to force you to be something you’re not.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Does that surprise you?”

“I guess I always assumed you wouldn’t approve of it. Of _me_ , specifically, being gay, that is.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that. I hope that you now understand that I’m not upset, Arthur.” Arthur nodded. 

“Still…neither of you seemed surprised.”

“I’ve known for a while now,” Morgana admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ve had my suspicions most of your life, son.”

“Don’t be sorry, Morgana. I’m only concerned that other people may know.”

“I doubt it. I could only tell because I know you so well.”

“Now, Arthur, does anyone else know?”

He nodded, trying to decide if his father was upset by other people knowing or not. 

“Gwaine does. I told him when we were fifteen but really only because I knew he knew. He’s my roommate so I thought he had a right to know the guy he’s living with is gay. He told me that was stupid which…helped, strangely. Leon, Lance, and Percival know as well. I told Leon and Lance around the same time I told Gwaine. Percival found out by mistake about a year ago.”

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. If he found out without you telling him then how do you know other people haven’t also?”

“Uther! Don’t be cruel.” Morgana interjected. 

“That wasn’t my intention, Morgana.”

“It wasn’t, Father. Gwaine had forgotten something in the room and Percival was going to the building anyway so Gwaine gave him his key. I was supposed be gone but our plans had been cancelled, so-”

“What plans?”

“It was when we were supposed to host the Norgwegian delegation but the ambassador got the flu at the last minute. I should have texted Gwaine but it slipped my mind. And I…Father, do I really have to-”

“I think I get the picture.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“I understand, Arthur. I was your age once.” 

Morgana groaned. “This conversation is surreal.” 

“Anyway…those are the only people who know.” 

“All right. Then if you’d like, we can be done discussing it for the evening.”

“Please.”

“Very good.” Uther stood up to leave. “You can stay for the weekend if you’d like.”

“There’s still two more days of classes to get through.”

“I know. Just this once.” 

“I shouldn’t-”

“Just say yes, Arthur.” Morgana ordered. 

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll be around if either of you need anything. Good night.”

“Good night.”

“Good night, Father.” Uther opened the door, then looked back briefly, with a look of hesitance on his face. Quickly, he turned around and walked over to the sofa, pulling his son up into a tight hug. It barely lasted a moment, and if Morgana’s mouth hadn’t been hanging open in shock even after Uther made his exit, Arthur might not have believed it actually happened. 

“Did he just-”

“Yep.”

“What the hell just happened?”

“This second or in the last twenty minutes?”

“Either. Neither. I don’t know.” Arthur sat in stunned silence for a few more seconds before he burst into laughter. It was a full body laugh that had him literally falling off the sofa and onto the ground. He laughed so hard his ribs hurt. His stitches from the surgery were pulling too and it was painful but he could stop. It reminded Arthur of the time Leon had spilled red wine over Morgana’s yellow sundress and spent the next twenty minutes panicking and apologizing despite Morgana saying it was okay, while Arthur and Gwaine were doubled over laughing a few meters away. 

This whole situation was so utterly ridiculous that he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to think, and he didn’t know what to feel. His father, Uther Fucking Pendragon had just told him that not only did he know he was gay, not only that he had known all of Arthur’s life, but also that he was okay with. It would have been incomprehensible to eleven year old Arthur who had just realized he was attracted to men. Hell, it was incomprehensible to the seventeen year old Arthur of an hour ago. 

When he caught his breath, he looked up, expecting to see Morgana staring at him in concern, but instead saw his sister giggling, her head in her hands. “I almost feel like we should have recorded that,” she said. 

“Why?”

“Uther Pendragon just had a conversation with his children that involved discussing masturbation and pornography. I’m pretty sure Gwaine would do almost anything for it including give us his family fortune.”

Arthur barked a laugh. “And what, we’d be destitute without it?”

“Not at all, but you really trust Gwaine with that much money?”

“Fair cop.”

“Come on,” She said, standing up and offering her hand. He grasped and pulled himself up. She shoved him to his bedroom door. “To bed with you.”

“Morgana, it’s half eight.”

“Yeah, well, we’re going to lay on your bed and eat junk and watch ‘8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown’ and argue about the grammar of the title. I’m going to put on pajamas and get popcorn. I’ll be back.” She turned to leave. 

“All right.” Arthur was very appreciative of the fact that his older sister knew exactly what he needed in that moment. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about his feelings or whatever. 

“And Arthur?” He heard her call. 

“Yeah?”

“I’ll beat the shit out of anyone of your asshole classmates who say a word. I want a cuppa. You want one? I’ll make you one.” She left and closed the door behind her. 

And for the second time that night, Arthur was compelled to ask, “What the hell just happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of chapter three is written but I hate it so it might be a day or two before it’s up. Have a good day and wash your hands!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin learns he has to switch rooms and ends up in the same corridor as a certain prince. Also, he meets possibly the most intimidating person he’s ever met.

Merlin escaped from detention at half six. The upside of the detention was that Ms. Davenport wasn’t there and there wasn’t another teacher either. Merlin had been locked in the room alone. When a staff member he didn’t know the name of let him in, he was surprised to find she shut it behind him and the handle wouldn’t budge. Locking someone in a room alone didn’t exactly seem safe to Merlin, and he had expressed that. When he asked what he was supposed to do if he needed the loo or there was a fire or something, the woman had told him that if he needed the toilets to use the wall phone to call the front desk and if there was a fire he could use the escape window. “We’re on the ground floor,” she had informed him, seemingly incredulous that he could be so stupid. 

There were upsides to being alone though. Despite his best efforts to keep his eyes open, three hours was too long to sit alone in a room doing nothing, so he had fallen asleep briefly. The nap had been rather nice, but it resulted in Merlin drooling all over his uniform jacket. 

Cursing, he ran back to his dorm to change. He wasn’t about to deal with another lecture on keeping his uniform clean and supper was in thirty minutes. He ignored the stern glances and “heys!” coming from the people he was passing. Merlin had quickly come to find that people here took running as seriously as lifeguards did. It was as if they thought someone running was bound to slip on the wet tile, crack their head open, and drown in the pool. When he arrived at his room, Lance, his hall’s prefect, was preparing to tape something to his door. 

“Oh, Merlin, hi.” He greeted, stuffing the paper he was holding back into his pocket, neatly folded. 

“Hi, Lance. Umm…is everything okay? What’s with the paper?”

“I was just coming to tell you that you’re going to have to switch rooms.”

“What? Why?” Merlin frowned. 

“Well, it’s school policy that as far as it’s possible, everyone has to share a room. And as it turns out there’s an empty spot in another student’s room.”

“Oh.” This was the absolute worst thing that he could have been told. Merlin had already resigned himself to a lonely year full of prats who either wouldn’t give him the time of day or would take every opportunity to make his life a living hell. The only solace he could find in the whole thing was that at least at the end of the day, he could be alone in his room. 

Merlin was an expert on the difference between feeling lonely and being alone, if there ever was one. At least if he was alone he could pretend not to care about what the other students thought of him or that he didn’t have any friends. He could tell himself that he was choosing to be by himself, and that nothing exciting was happening outside his door anyway. But with a roommate, there would be the constant reminder of all the things he wasn’t invited to, wasn’t wanted for. And who knows what type of person his roommate would be anyway? Maybe a lovely, kind, genuine person? More likely, with Merlin’s luck, a pompous, rich, homophobic asshole. 

“Yeah. So after we eat, I'll give you a hand and we can bring your stuff over.”

“What, tonight?”

“That’s what I was told. Plus, the sooner the better, right?”

“I guess. Where is it?” Merlin unlocked his door and walked in, tossing his bag on the bed and searching for a new jacket as Lance leaned against the door frame. 

“Same building, fourth floor.”

“Okay. So if there was an empty bed why did I ever move into this room in the first place?”

“Well, there are really two empty beds in two different rooms but the idea was for those guys to move in together. It didn’t end up working out.”

“Working out? They had a choice?”

“Not so much that as a security issue.”

“Security issue?” If Merlin wasn’t confused before he was now.

“Why didn’t you ask who your roommate is?” Lance asked, totally ignoring Merlin’s question. He shrugged. 

“Don’t know. Don’t really know anyone here.”

“You know me.”

“I think you would have started with that if you were my new roommate.” He rolled his eyes and Lance laughed. 

“Fair enough. Leon Knight, by the way, is your roommate. Know him?”

“Yeah, actually. He’s in my biology class.” 

“Right, well his room - yours now too, I guess - is directly across the hall from Arthur Pendragon’s room.” 

Merlin paused halfway through putting on the clean jacket. “Shit, really?” Lance frowned. 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, not really. It’s just that I may have inadvertently met him earlier today.”

“Arthur? He’s a good bloke. He didn’t upset you, did he?”

“No. He caught me crying in the stairwell, though.” Better to say it than to make something up. Merlin could be a good liar when he wanted to be but he had to work for it. On the spot he was crap at it. Uncle Gaius had once caught him looking through his mother’s jacket for candy money and he told him he was checking to make sure moths hadn’t gotten to it. Moths. Besides, Lance was a nice enough guy and probably wouldn’t make fun of him for it.

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s been a day. Anyway, he asked me to move because I was blocking his way and when I stood up and saw who it was I got startled and dropped my phone. I bent over to pick it up and I guess he was trying to pick it up too because he wasn’t where I thought he was when I came up and I basically headbutted his chin.” He beamed at Lance, as if he had achieved something. Lance just laughed. 

“I love the guy but I would have wanted to see that.” 

Merlin shrugged happily and picked up his bag again. “Supper?” Lance nodded and they began the walk to the dinning hall. “Wait, you mentioned something about a security issue?”

“Oh yeah. I can’t reveal much so I’ll just say that it must really blow for that other guy.”

“Cocaine, got it.” 

“I’m not saying anything.”

“You basically just did. Anyway, am I going to have to get a background check?”

“Merlin, you already got one. Everyone gets one when they come to Camlann.”

“That seems like a little bit of a violation.”

“Maybe. Still, now at least you can move in tonight instead of having to wait for the Crown to do it.”

“Joy,” Merlin said sarcastically. 

“Although, come to think of it they probably did one too.”

“I hate everything.”

“I can’t imagine you’d have something to hide, Emrys.”

“Not that I know of!”

“Not that you know of? Wouldn’t you know?”

“Maybe! Probably! Maybe not? I don’t know. I google weird shit at three in the morning, okay?”

“Everybody does,” Lance spoke through his laughter. “Unless you’re an actual terrorist I think you’re in the clear.” He clapped Merlin on the shoulder. 

“Fine. As long as Leon doesn’t snore I really can’t muster up the energy to care anymore.” If Lance’s laugh wasn’t so nice Merlin was sure he would have been sick of it by now. 

_____________________________________

“Sorry about rushing you out of there; I wanted to be able to move you in as quickly as possible so we’re done by lights out.”

“I really don’t mind. Davenport still had a chance to berate me for the state of my uniform, so it was time enough. But you really don’t need to help me if you don’t want to.” They were walking back to get Merlin’s stuff when he realized that Lance actually intended on moving his stuff with him. 

“Of course I’ll help. Happy to. Besides, you’re my new next-door neighbor and you never want to start off on the wrong foot with a neighbor. Next thing you know they’re stealing the packages off your porch and blowing their leaves onto your lawn.”

“I don’t really have much to move.”

“They’ll be less trips with the two of us.”

Merlin sighed. “Lance, I appreciate it but I literally have one box and a rucksack.” 

“Really? Just one?”

“Figured if I was going to be the scholarship boy I might as well double down on the poverty thing.”

“That’s not what I meant. I was just surprised.”

“Yeah. So anyway, I can do it. Thanks though. I’ll see you upstairs?”

Lance still looked skeptical but he left it alone and nodded. “Sure. You have my number; text if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

_____________________________________

When Merlin got out of the elevator he was greeted by an intimidating looking woman in a black suit standing a few doors down. She turned to him and asked “Are you Merlin Emrys?”

Merlin’s voice died in his throat and he had to swallow a few times before answering. “Umm…yes?”

The woman snorted. “What, you’re not sure?”

“No, I’m sure. I’m Merlin.”

“Great. Mind if I look through your rucksack and box?” 

“If I said yes would it matter?” He asked, walking over to her. She gave him a thin smile. 

“Not really, no. It’s more of a formality than anything else. You’ve already been cleared” She started rifling through the box. If Merlin had known it was going to be looked though, he probably would have been a little neater about packing it. As it was, he had thrown all of his stuff in, hoping to get to his new room as quickly as possible so that he could finish his homework and pass out for the night. “Is that a miniature TARDIS?”

“Yes.” He said stiffly. He refused to be ashamed of his _Doctor Who_ obsession. It was perfectly normal. 

She laughed. “So,” she began as she continued looking through Merlin’s things. “Do you drink alcohol or do drugs? And that includes smoking marijuana.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s none of your business.”

“I’m pretty sure it is. Look, I’m not going to report you or anything; that’s not my job. I don’t actually care. But I do need to know so I can do what my job actually is.”

“And how does knowing any of that affect your job?”

The woman smiled. “I need to know what’s going on in this hall and unfortunately for you, you’re very included in that. Besides, His Highness spends a decent amount of time in that room.” She gestured with her head to the room directly across from them which, Merlin assumed, must be his room. 

“He does? Why?”

“Your roommate is his oldest friend. Okay,” She looked up from the box. “I need to see your bag now, please.” Merlin reluctantly took it off and handed it to her, almost dropping his box in the process. He saw the woman trying to stifle laughter and felt himself become increasingly aggravated. 

“Am I going to be able to, you know, go into my room at any point? Or are you going to stand her making me answer questions all evening.”

“Well, you haven’t even answered the first one.”

He sighed. “No, I don’t drugs, not even pot, and I’ll have the occasional beer but if you’re going to send a bunch of assassins to kill me if I do-”

“Assassins?”

“Then I’ll stop.”

“Again, I don't care. I wanted to know if you do cocaine or meth or something like that. I ask it like that because people shut down more commonly otherwise. I don’t care about beer, Merlin.”

“Hey, wait a second. It isn’t fair that you know me but I don’t know you. What’s your name?”

“Why?”

“Well, aren’t you going to be standing two feet from my door all the time? Bit weird if I don’t know you. Bit weird in the first place, actually.” She rolled her eyes. 

“It won’t be all the time. I do need to sleep and eat and I don’t spend my entire life working.”

“Great, so they’ll be different scary looking people when you’re not here.”

“You think I’m scary looking? That’s sweet.”

“How is you mocking me professional? Aren’t you bodyguard-security-agent-people usually stoic and cold?”

“Bodyguard-security-agent-people? Really?”

“Whatever.”

“Still, I don’t really care, do you?” She was taking far too long to search Merlin’s rucksack, in his opinion. 

“Not particularly, but I thought I’d ask. You know, I’m just going to make up a name for you if you don’t tell me. What, is it some state secret?”

She sighed. “I’m Mithian.”

Merlin smiled wide. “That’s a lovely name.” She zipped up the bag and put it on top of his box. 

“You’re all clear. Have a good night, Merlin.”

“You too, Mithian. I had a lot of fun watching you violate my privacy, so thanks.” 

She snorted again. “Happy to.” He smiled again and turned to enter his room.

When he at last got the door unlocked, after several failed attempts and sniggers from behind him, he pushed it open and entered to see his roommate swivel his desk chair around towards him.

“Umm…hi, Leon.” He began tentatively. “I’m Merlin. I’m not sure if you remember me or not? We have biology together.” 

Leon smiled at him and stood to greet him. “It’d be pretty hard to forget you after class today, mate.” Merlin blushed and awkwardly scratched the back of his head, again almost dropping the box. He quickly put it and the bag down on the empty desk beside him. “You’ve met Mithian, then?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. She’s…nice?”

His roommate laughed. “I promise, you’ll like her once you get to know her.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Sorry about invading your space like this. But I promise you won’t even notice me.” As he said that, the rucksack fell off the desk and onto the floor with a loud thud and the sound of rattling pills. He blushed again and bent over to pick it up. “Okay, you won’t notice me starting now.” Leon laughed and walked towards Merlin, clapping him on the shoulder. 

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be nice having a roommate again. This is the first year I haven’t been with anyone and I don’t like it as much as I thought I would. Do you need any help unpacking?”

“I’m all right, thanks. And, uh, I’m sorry about what happened in class.”

“Don’t be. There’s nothing wrong with texting your friend when something surprising happens and Arthur can be pretty damn surprising to most people.” He smiled, sitting back down. “And Davenport is extremely strict with the mobile thing. Most other teachers don’t care as much but just be careful with her because if she catches you texting, well…obviously you know what happens.” He flashed Merlin a teasing smile.

“I hope I didn’t make him uncomfortable.”

“Arthur? Maybe a little, but I wouldn’t worry about it. He wasn’t mad at you. Not for that anyway.” Leon gave him a devious grin and Merlin groaned. 

“He told you?”

“Of course. And I’m joking, he wasn’t mad at you. A little peeved, maybe but he’ll get over it. Didn’t even bruise.”

“Right. Good then.” 

“So, Merlin, why did you just start now instead of at the beginning of the term?” Merlin plopped down onto the mattress. He might as well be honest with Leon. They were sharing a room now and the financial difference between them would be obvious. It wasn’t that Merlin was ashamed to be poor. He never had been before, at least. But the difference was that in Ealdor, not everyone was rich. Merlin had yet to meet someone at Camlann Academy who didn’t drip money. When he showed up on Monday he was half surprised to see that the tissue boxes were full of actual tissues and not twenty pound notes. 

“Had to stay home to work. Bills were piling up and my mum needed the help.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Is it better now?”

“A little.” He said as he stood up, hoping that he had ended the conversation. He pulled his sheets out of the box and started making the bed. “What are the chances your friend heard me talking to Mithian? Because I think I essentially accused her of planning to send assassins after me.”

Leon laughed. “You know you can call him Arthur, right?”

Merlin shrugged. “I’ve already been lectured about that once today.”

“Was It Davenport? I promise she’s the only person here who cares. Some of the younger students might because they’re terrified of him, but seriously, calling him Arthur is fine. He prefers it, actually.”

“Good to know. And what is it with her anyway?”

“She tutored Morgana for a while so now she thinks she’s an expert on royal protocol or something. Drives us all mad, but mostly Arthur which Gwaine would tell you makes the whole thing worth it.” 

“Well, I’m pretty sure she’s determined to make my life a living hell. She hates me.”

“I don’t want to be blunt or anything, but yeah, I think she does. She makes decisions about who she likes and who she doesn’t quickly. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. She hates Gwaine and he’s survived this long. But no, Arthur didn’t hear you. He went home for the night.”

“He did? We’re allowed to do that?”

“ _We’re_ not.”

“Ah.” 

“His father called him back, otherwise he wouldn’t have. Arthur doesn’t like to be given special treatment if he can help it.” Merlin wasn’t entirely sure he believed that but he nodded. 

Eventually, Leon turned back to his homework and Merlin finished unpacking. It took longer than he would have liked because he had to get out the iron, making him regret not folding his uniform before putting packing it. He stuck a few pictures to the wall by his bed, right next to his pillow. There was one of him, Will, Freya, and Gwen; one of him and his mum; one of him and Uncle Gaius; and one from when Will and Merlin were four and running around, shoving each other into puddles after it rained. They were covered in mud and they were laughing harder than Merlin could ever remember laughing before or since. 

He also had a small, slightly wrinkled photograph of his mother. In the picture, she’s pregnant with Merlin and lying in a field, giggling. A tall, broad shouldered man with dark hair and a beard had his arms wrapped around her. Merlin’s father. Uncle Gaius had gifted it to him when he was twelve. “I would have given it to you sooner,” he had said. “But I only found it a few days ago when I was going through some things.” It was the only picture of Balinor that Merlin had. And the only other piece of his father that he had was the small wooden dragon he had carved for Merlin before he was even born. “Don’t tell your mother,” Uncle Gaius had said. 

It wasn’t that Hunith wanted to keep Merlin from knowing about his father, but she said it was too painful for her to talk about. Will once told him he thought it was selfish of her, and Merlin punched him in the face. It was the biggest fight they ever had, and the only violent one at that. He apologized and Will got over it but even now, eight years later, Merlin still occasionally reflected on it and felt guilty. 

His mum had even forbidden Uncle Gaius from talking about him, because it inevitably led to Merlin asking her questions later on. When Will suggested he try asking Gaius, and Merlin told him this, he refused to talk to Merlin for a week. Freya and Gwen apparently talked some sense into him, but he could tell that nobody agreed. His mum was more important to him than knowing about the father who had abandoned him anyway so it hardly mattered. He had never seen Freya so heartbroken as when he told her that. 

But the picture and the carving were enough, he supposed. Sometimes Merlin would sit holding the photo for hours and not realizing he was running his fingers over it over and over again. That’s probably why it’s wrinkled, something in his mind supplied. 

“Merlin?” Leon’s voice broke through his trancelike state.

“Hmm?” 

“I asked if you mind if I turned off the light? It’s lights out in ten minutes anyway.” Merlin glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand. Ten twenty. He hadn’t finished any of his homework. 

“Sure. I don’t mind.”

He was so screwed tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t promise that updates will continue to be this frequent. I’m having an odd week where I’m not experiencing writer’s block, but I have it more often than not.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur endures a meeting about his coming out.

Arthur woke up to a knock on his door. He had been drifting in and out of sleep for a while now, and it was glorious. Every day he either had school or royal obligations in some form or another. Rarely, if ever, did he get to just sleep until he woke up. Arthur would probably rate sleeping in as his number one favorite thing to do. There was another gentle knock. 

“Arthur? Are you awake?” 

He groaned and stretched. “I am now. Come in.”

Morgana entered, already fully dressed and with perfectly applied makeup. Arthur reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. He squinted at the light it emitted, his eyes not yet adjusted. It was already ten o’clock.

“How did you sleep?”

“What do you want, Morgana?” Arthur really wasn’t a morning person. 

“Do I have to want something?” She sat on his bed. He turned over to look at her. 

“Yes. You’re you.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. I wanted to let you know that Uther wants you to meet with some of the communications department at noon.” Her tone was apologetic. He groaned again.

  
“All right. Why are you the one telling me this?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to force poor George to wake you up and he was the only other person around when Uther mentioned it.” Arthur’s long-suffering PA, George, was very good at his job but on the rare occasion that he had to wake Arthur up, it almost never went well for either of them. “Anyway, noon in Uther’s office.”

“Why not the communications office?”

“I think he wants as few people around as possible so that only the people who need to know, know.”

“All right. Give me a minute and I’ll get up. Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem. I’m going to go make a few phone calls but I’ll meet you there.” She got up and headed for the door, not looking up from her phone. 

“You’re coming?”

“Of course I am, Arthur. You thought I was going to leave you on your own?”

“Father will be there.” 

Morgana snorted. “Yes, because as we both know he’s an extremely comforting presence.” She said sarcastically. 

“I don’t need comforting.” He argued petulantly. 

She ignored him. “I’ll see you there.” 

Arthur sat up and scrubbed his hands over his face several times as the door closed. He looked at his phone again. He had a bunch of texts from Gwaine, one from Lance, and two from Leon. He also had one from George but he planned on ignoring that, at least for the time being. 

_ Fine but if you’re not coming back until Sunday then I’m stealing your booze _

_ Also that one jumper that makes you look like Chris Evans _

_ I’ll wash it though, I promise _

_ No I don’t. I definitely won’t wash it. Why kid ourselves? _

Arthur rolled his eyes. He loved Gwaine but sometimes he was a terrible roommate. Luckily enough, most of the time Arthur enjoyed Gwaine’s lack of respect for his roommate’s things and personal space. Gwaine treated him like any normal bloke and he relished it. 

When they had been put together their first day at Camlann Academy, Arthur had been nervous. He was worried he would get some suck up for a roommate. But when he got to the room Gwaine was already on his bed and said “Hey, mate. I’m Gwaine. That bed’s yours” and went back to his mobile. They were friends almost instantly. 

Years later, they were still roommates, having selected each other each year since they gained the privilege. Arthur’s father had rolled his eyes the first time he said he would be choosing to live with him, but after that got used to it. Morgana thought part of Uther secretly liked Gwaine, but Arthur wasn’t so sure. 

All of Arthur’s friends were his friends in part because they treated him like a human being. Gwaine and Leon, however, had been the only ones who had from the start. Arthur and Leon met when they were four though, so neither of them were used to standing on ceremony much yet. 

_ I’ve just been told that that Merlin bloke is moving in with me.  _

__ Then another text, two hours later. 

_ He’s here now. Seems very nice. Mithian scared the hell out of him.  _

He groaned loudly and flopped back down on his bed. This was the worst possible timing. He was about to be forced out of the closet on national television and now he had to deal with that idiot in his best mate’s room all the time? Often, Arthur would barge into Leon’s room with the spare key he had been given (very much against the rules, but Leon did it anyway) and collapse on the spare bed, and rant to his best friend. Leon would either sit and listen or try to make him feel better, depending on the mood he was in. 

No one knew him better than Leon, except maybe Morgana, and Arthur valued that more than he could express. There were some things he just couldn’t talk to anyone else about and now he couldn’t even talk about them to Leon. Sure, he could just go when Merlin wasn’t in the room but one of the things he liked about Leon being newly roommateless was that he had the freedom to go at any given time. Arthur acknowledges that this attitude was probably incredibly selfish, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care at the moment. Wasn’t he entitled to a little selfishness right now? 

A lot of people had asked Arthur why he didn’t live with Leon, but they had mutually agreed it was a bad idea. Living with someone else in such a small space could lead to arguments and there was no point in jeopardizing their friendship over fights about dirty laundry or whose turn it was to take the rubbish out. Leon’s old roommate, Max, had been nice enough but his parents picked up and moved to Japan at the end of last term, taking him with them. Both Arthur and Leon had gotten used to the new way things were, even if Leon got a little lonely at times. Now, that was over. 

Besides, why did it have to be  _ him  _ of all people? Merlin had already embarrassed and physically harmed Arthur in the course of one afternoon. And whatever anyone else said, it had really hurt, even though he would never admit it. Apparently, Merlin had a thick skull in more ways than one. Arthur had been alone, as he sometimes was allowed to be within the school buildings if there was a member of his protection team nearby, so at least no one had seen it. When his bodyguard saw him a few minutes later, rubbing his jaw, she asked if he was okay. Once she was told what had happened, Mithian laughed and didn’t stop mocking him for hours. 

Arthur shook his head to himself, moving on to look at the text from Lance. 

_ FYI, the new boy, Merlin, has been placed in Leon’s room. I’ve spoken with him a couple of times and he’s very nice! I’m sure what happened in your class today was an unfortunate fluke. _

He huffed and turned his phone off. He closed his eyes, planning on procrastinating for at least a few more minutes before he got up and showered. Someone knocked on his door.

“What?” He grumbled. 

The door squeaked slowly open and George peeked in. “Your highness? Are you decent?” 

“Come in, George.”

He entered the room and closed the door behind him. “You have a meeting in His Majesty’s office at noon and it’s already 10:05, sir.”

“Morgana already told me.”

“Very good, sir. Would you like to hear the rest of your schedule for the day?”

“The rest of my schedule? That implies I have a schedule.”

“Yes, sir. I thought since you were home, you might like to get some things out of the way. You need to review the newest draft of the speech you’ll be giving to the Chilean delegation next month. The tailor would like to see you for a fitting today. There’s also the matter of-”

“George?”

“Yes sir?”

“You’re aware I had surgery this week, yes?”

“Yes sir.” He walked over to Arthur’s bed. 

“Right. So seeing as I have nothing else but this meeting on my  _ official  _ to do list today, I’m not going to be doing anything else.”

“But-”

“I’d usually be at school today anyway and all this stuff still would have gotten done in time. I’ll do whatever needs doing but not today.”

George looked at him strangely. Arthur rarely complained to his assistant and almost never refused to do something, let alone anything.

“Are you feeling all right, sir?” He reached out and pressed his hand to Arthur’s forehead, checking for a temperature. Arthur swatted his hand away. 

“I’m not sick. I’m recovering from surgery. It’s certainly no cause for alarm. Leave me be. I’m going to get ready, just give me a minute first.” 

“All right…would you like me to call for someone to draw you a bath instead, sir? The doctor said you could get it wet now and it might be easier.”

Arthur nodded. “Yes, thank you, George.” He nodded and turned to leave. “George?”

“Yes sir?”

“Do you know what I’m meeting with the communications people about?”

“I’m not sure, sir. Your father didn’t specify. If you’d like, I can try and find out.” Good. Even if he didn’t always get on with him, Arthur felt an obligation to tell his PA about it himself. But not now.

“No, that’s all right.” George bowed his head and left. 

_____________________ _______________________

Arthur was lounging in the bath when his phone buzzed on the edge of the tub beside him. He ignored it in favor of keeping his eyes closed. 

“I left a towel on the counter. And let me know if you need help getting out later. Don’t want you pulling on your stitches and messing it up.”

“I’ll be all right. Thanks, Gilli.” 

“Yep. Just yell if you need anything else. I’ll be nearby.” He offered. Arthur heard the door close and sighed happily. 

Arthur and his valet, Gilli, got on pretty well. He had been in the position for well over two years now and, for the most part, they’d dispensed with formalities in private. Gilli called him Arthur most of the time and if the Prince was annoying him, he was more than happy to tell him to sod off. The first time he’d done it he blushed and immediately apologized. Arthur hadn’t responded because he was too busy laughing his arse off. 

Gilli was only two years older than Arthur. He had dropped out of secondary school to help his parents pay the bills and raise his little siblings. His cousin worked in the kitchen and, both Arthur and Gilli agreed, was sleeping with Mithian at the time. He told her that his cousin was looking for work and she mentioned it to George, who was extremely reluctant to higher a seventeen year old who had absolutely zero experience, but in the end it had worked out. Arthur still had no clue how George had been convinced, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Morgana had gotten involved. She always had a soft spot for people in need and, more than anything, pissing off Uther. Uther had rolled his eyes and scoffed when it was mentioned, but otherwise didn’t actually care. Morgana was not too disappointed though, because she had already met Gilli and loved him. 

Arthur’s phone buzzed again and he reached for it before opening his eyes. There were several texts from the groupchat he had with Leon, Lance, Gwaine, and Percival. 

_ Gwaine: Oh my god _

_ Lance: What? _

_ Gwaine: Get to the east quad NOW _

_ Percy: Jesus Christ _

_ Leon: Holy shit _

_ Lance: This is not going to end well… _

__ Arthur unconsciously scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. 

_ Arthur: What’s going on? _

_ Gwaine: LEON’S NEW ROOMIE IS THROWING DOWN WITH VALIANT _

_ Arthur: What??? _

_ Arthur: He’s going to get himself killed _

_ Lance: Verbally, thank god, not physically.  _

_ Leon: Still.  _

_ Percy: Arthur, the whole school is out here now.  _

_ Arthur: Record it _

_ Percy: I tried to but there’s too much background noise from other people freaking out. _

_ Gwaine: This is magnificent _

_ Arthur: What are they fighting about? _

No one responded. He waited ninety seconds before texting again.

_ Arthur: Guys? _

Still no response. 

_ Arthur: Is everything all right? _

_ Leon: Yeah, everything’s fine. We’ll talk to you later. _

Well that was weird. Trying to not think about it, he put his phone down and sank back into the bath. 

____________________________________________

“Ah, Arthur. Thank you for joining us.” He had been thirty seconds early, almost exactly, but Uther, of course, still made a comment because he had been the last one. The others stood. 

“I apologize. I was delayed.” He wasn’t. He was on time. 

“Your highness, it’s good to see you. I hope you’re feeling well.” Arthur didn’t recognize the two people with her, but this woman he knew. Sophia was young for a press secretary, but she was great at what she did and, Uther felt, made the monarchy look better because its representative to the press was not some old white man. Morgana, for once, had been inclined to agree with their father. 

“It’s good to see you too, Sophia. I'm feeling much better, thank you.” Arthur sat and everyone else followed. “I’m assuming everyone knows then?” 

“Yes. But no one else.” Sophia promised. “This is Olivia McFarley and Eric Chambers.” She gestured to the people who sat next to her. “Olivia is a public relations expert and Eric is a marvelous speech writer.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, your highness.” Olivia shook his hand. He then offered it to Eric. 

“Likewise.”

“Now that introductions have been made, let’s get into it, shall we?” Uther asked impatiently. 

“Certainly, sir. We’ve discussed this and there are a few options. The first would be to do a televised public address. All the main channels would announce that morning that the Prince would be speaking to the public later that evening. It would certainly reach the largest number of people the most quickly.” 

Arthur wished she would address him instead of his father. He felt like he was being talked about and not to. From the look on Morgana’s face, he could tell she agreed with him. 

“Another option,” Sophia began. “The only other viable one, really, would be to get it over with and do the interview with The Albion Sun. That way, once it’s done it’s done.” She was wrong there. It was  _ not  _ done. Not nearly. Coming out would follow Arthur for the rest of his life. Olivia seemed a little uncomfortable with what she had said too, which was comforting, in a way.

He thought both of these options were rather obvious. Arthur was half hoping they had figured out some sort of way to get out of this but the rational part of him knew that wasn’t happening. 

Uther nodded. “What do you think is best?”

“That depends on what your ultimate goal is.” She finally turned to Arthur. “Are you looking to make a big deal? Send a message to the world? Then do the announcement. But if you want to just say ‘look, this is who I am, it’s a part of me, let’s move on’ then you do an interview.”

Arthur looked to his father. He had no idea what it was that Uther wanted him to do. He wouldn’t be surprised if the King had decided on what their agenda was. 

“Well, Arthur? What do you think?”

“I…I’m not sure. Do I have to make a decision right this very second?”

Sophia shook her head. “I was thinking that whatever you decide, it could happen the week before Christmas.”

“Why? That seems like a rather busy time to do it.” Uther pointed out. Eric repeatedly was capping and uncapping his pen. Arthur thought is must have been subconscious. 

“It is, sir. But because there’s a lot going on people will only spend so much time discussing it, positively or negatively.”

“Yeah, or they’ll spend Christmas dinner arguing about it with their families and Boxing Day tweeting about it.” Olivia said. Sophia whipped around. 

“I don’t think that’s true. In my experience, families avoid politics at Christmas.”

“No. Families  _ say  _ they’re going to avoid politics at Christmas and then spend the whole time making passive aggressive comments about their conservative uncle.” Arthur had to stifle a laugh. Morgana didn’t stifle hers at all. 

“Well, he can’t very well do it after Christmas, can he?” Eric spoke for the first time since Arthur entered the room. “That gives us less than a week and there’s nothing big in January to distract the public.”

“Why does it have to be about distraction? Shouldn’t people be talking about it?” 

“Why would want people talking about?” Uther asked. 

“With all due respect, sir, this isn’t only about the Prince.”

“Oh, is it not?” The King spat back. Arthur tried his best to make himself invisible. 

“No, sir.” Olivia held her ground. “If people around the world are talking about the gay British Prince doesn’t that make it easier for a future gay Prince of, I don’t know, Belgium? Or gay Princess of Denmark? Or bisexual Prince of Tonga? Or the gay fourteen year old son of a teacher from Essex?” Sophia looked frustrated as her colleague continued. Olivia turned to Arthur. “It’s not fair that it’s your burden, sir.” “But it is. You shouldn’t be forced to come out, no one should be. But since you are, don't you think it should do as much good as it can?”

“You’re out of line.” Uther seethed. “You have absolutely no right to-”

“She’s right, Father.” Arthur stared pointedly at a random painting behind the desk.

“Arthur, there’s nothing that says this has to be any harder than it already is.” Morgana laid her hand on top of his. 

“I know,” He nodded. “But Ms. McFarley is still right. There’s no way for me to just walk away from this so why shouldn't I do it in a way that can benefit some people? I don’t want it to look like I’m ashamed of who I am. I’m not.”

Morgana acquiesced easily after that. She would support him no matter what, he knew. All she wanted was for him to do what was best for him. Uther came around eventually. 

“Where does that leave us? Before or after Christmas?” 

“If we want people talking about it then I’m not sure it matters much.” Eric admitted.

“You should do it before Christmas, Arthur.” His sister suggested. “That way you have more time before you have to be back at school after it happens.” He nodded. 

“The week before Christmas it is. Will you be telling the networks what he’s speaking about?” 

“We’ll tell them he’s speaking twenty-four hours before it happens. They get to know why ninety minutes before air. That’s the best they’ll take and it will help us prevent leaks.” Sophia explained. 

“Olivia and I will meet with you several times in the coming weeks to go over what you want to say.” Eric told him. “We’ll coordinate with your assistant.”

“I think we’re done for now. Thank you all.” The King dismissed them. Several rounds of “thank you, sir” filled the room. 

Arthur didn’t realize he had left his father’s office until he was back in his room, changing into jogging bottoms and a pullover. He felt like he had been awake for days. He got back into bed and fell asleep almost instantly, the sheets pulled over his head to block the sunlight from hitting his eyes. 


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Valiant square off and Hunith isn’t happy.

“Merlin? Merlin, mate, wake up.” Merlin jolted awake and was startled to see Leon standing over him, fully dressed. “Sorry. We have to be at breakfast in thirty minutes so I thought I’d better wake you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Merlin said groggily, “I think I forgot to set my alarm.” 

“No problem.” Leon left his bedside and began searching for something or other in his desk drawers. “If you want to shower, I’d do it quickly. Gwaine usually gets in there a few minutes from now and he sings. Very loudly.” Merlin winced. He woke up with a headache and could already tell it was going to be a long day. 

“Great.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and hopped up. Merlin tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he searched for his shower caddy. 

He was annoyed but not surprised to find a much nicer restroom than the one he had when he was downstairs. Of course Arthur and his friends would get the nicest things. There was even a separate tiny corridor leading to the showers. 

On his way out he bumped into Gwaine. Literally. Merlin stumbled and almost dropped his things as they collided. Gwaine laughed. 

“Morning, Merlin. Welcome to the floor.”

“Thanks,” Merlin responded sarcastically. 

“Are those flip flops? In the loo?” He pointed at Merlin’s shoes. 

He huffed. “For the shower. Don’t want to get athlete’s foot, now do I?”

“I think you’ll find we’re athlete’s foot free up here, mate.”

“Whatever. Are you going to move so I can leave now?”

Gwaine threw up his hands as if to say “I wasn’t ever stopping you” and Merlin walked by. “Merlin, mate, I didn’t mean to be a twat. Just trying to be friendly.”

Merlin sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “Sorry. I was overreacting. I’m stressed right now. Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Can we start over?” 

“Sure.” 

Gwaine grinned and stuck his hand out. “I’m Gwaine. And you are?”

Merlin laughed and shook the hand extended towards him. “Merlin. Nice to meet you.” 

“Pleasure’s all mine.”

“Look, not to be rude or anything but I really should go get dressed.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in class. Can’t wait to hear what your mate texts you today.” He winked. Merlin barked a laugh and retreated to the relative safety of his room. 

___________________________________________

  
  


“Oh god.”

“I’m sure you’re going to be fine.” 

“No, you don’t understand.”

“You didn’t read  _ any  _ of it?” Lance whispered to Merlin.

“Not a word.” 

They were leaving economics class, which just so happened to be Merlin’s first class of the day. Which, consequently, meant he had the least time to prepare for it after he scoffed down his breakfast. Of course today was the day the teacher decided to give a surprise exam. 

“You probably got more of it right than you think you did.”

“I promise I didn’t. I don’t know what happened yesterday; I’m normally a much better student than this, I swear. But, to be honest, I’m usually pretty shit at economics anyway,” Merlin reasoned aloud. “What does that count for again?”

Lance frowned. “Exams are thirty percent, but I don't know what a pop one would be. Besides, there are lots of them so I’m sure you can get the grade back up.” 

“Maybe.”

Lance said his goodbyes and headed for his next lesson. Merlin sighed and turned towards the room down the corridor where he was headed. As he entered, the cacophony of voices was overwhelming. 

“Oi! Merlin!” Gwaine called and Merlin awkwardly made his way over. Gwaine patted the seat next to him. 

“Are you sure someone doesn’t usually sit there?” 

“Arthur isn’t here today.” Right. Because it was  _ definitely _ a good idea for Merlin to take the prince’s seat. Not wanting to be rude, he sat down anyway. “Do you always look like someone just drowned your favorite pet?”

“What? Sorry. Been a long day.”

“It’s just gone ten, mate. Are you all right?” For a reason Merlin couldn’t quite discern, Gwaine looked genuinely concerned. 

“Should be. I had a bit of a crazy day yesterday and didn’t get to do my assignments. Did this one at breakfast, so hopefully I won’t get in too much trouble. Quality’s pretty poor though.” 

Gwaine laughed. “You’re worrying too much. You’ll be fine. If I had a pound for every time I didn’t do my work, I’d have enough to give the princess a run for his money.”

Merlin laughed too. “By princess you mean Arthur?”

“As his roommate I reserve the right to call him whatever I want to. Seriously, you’ll be fine. Mr. Peters is ancient; I’m not even sure he remembers where he is half the time. Even called Arthur Uther a couple of times.”

“Really?”

Gwaine nodded. “It’s amazing. You’ll see it at some point, I’m sure. The princess gets so flustered.”

“I’m not sure amazing is the word I’d use, Gwaine,” He turned to see Percival in the row behind them, leaning forward to speak. “Awkward is more like it.” He gave Merlin a small smile. “Hello Merlin.”

“Hi. I don’t know if you heard but we’re neighbors now.”

“Lance told me. Sorry you have to live near Gwaine.” 

“Please,” Gwaine interjected, “I’m a fucking delight.” 

Percival rolled his eyes. Mr. Peters entered and everybody immediately quieted down. 

Class seemed to drag on for hours. It turned out that Gwaine was right; Mr. Peters never checked that they had their assignment, let alone collected it. Instead, he spent most of the lesson droning on about the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council. He contradicted himself several times and Merlin was beginning to panic about how he would ever be able to pass an exam if he didn’t know what information was right when Gwaine leaned over and scribbled something down on his notebook. 

_ “Arthur will reteach it to everyone before the exam. Always does.” _

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “Really?” He mouthed. Gwaine nodded and took his notebook again. 

_ “If we do well then the school isn’t going to want to replace Peters. If Peters gets replaced then we have to actually start trying.” _

Merlin rolled his eyes. He couldn’t help but be surprised at what Gwaine had written. The prince retaught a whole subject to all his classmates? That seemed awfully generous and it certainly wasn’t what Merlin had envisioned he would be like. He couldn’t help but smile thinking of how Will would spin it.  _ “What, he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, does he? Royal prick.” _ But if he was going to help him pass then Merlin wasn’t going to complain. 

He turned his attention back to the lesson. Usually Merlin enjoyed learning about government but it had never been so boring. In fact, all of his classes at Camlann Academy were pretty boring so far. It was disappointing to say the least. The arseholes in his year notwithstanding, Merlin had liked going to school in Ealdor. It was different here though. 

Maybe it was just because there was no Will to be distracted by and no Freya to pass notes with. God, how he missed them both. Freya always made him feel better about the world. Merlin often thought that if he weren’t gay he would be completely and totally in love with her. They had kissed once, in year seven, just to see, and it had helped Merlin realize his sexuality. If he couldn’t be attracted to Freya, what girl would he ever be attracted to? Will liked to tease her that she was such a bad kisser that she turned Merlin gay, and Freya liked to punch Will in the arm. He missed them both desperately even though he had seen them less than a week ago. On the bright side, he was going to see Gwen in a few days, and they hadn’t seen each other in person in almost a year. 

Maybe Merlin would come to love Camlann if he gave it more time. He certainly would never say anything to his mother or Uncle Gaius, not after all the sacrifices they made to get him there. Thinking about that just added to his already dangerously high levels of stress. If Merlin couldn’t find a job in town this weekend, he wasn’t sure what he would do. His mum was already working two jobs to put food on the table and now Merlin wasn’t providing any income. Hunith always told him that he shouldn’t be working anyway, and that it was her job to provide for him and not the other way around, but Merlin wouldn’t hear it. He would do everything in his power to be there for his mother and besides, he genuinely didn’t mind working. It kept him busy and made him feel like he was contributing something. 

That wasn’t to say working didn’t make his life more difficult, because it did. At home, Merlin felt like he was always doing something. He was never one to be idle but at the same time school, working almost full time, and helping around the house was a lot. That was changing now, but Merlin hoped he could go home often to help. Why he had decided to go for an IB diploma on top of everything else he wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to back out now. 

Everyone around him getting up from their seats was what alerted Merlin to the fact that class was over. He had zoned out and probably missed quite a few notes, but if what Gwaine said was true then Arthur would be teaching it anyway. That was weird to think about. He could already hear the phone call with his mum in his head.  _ “What did you do today, love?” “Not much, just got tutored by an HRH.” _ Hunith would be very excited. Actually, Merlin probably wouldn’t tell her about it, at least not yet. He didn’t want to get her hopes up that her son would suddenly be best pals or whatever with the Prince of Wales. 

The corridor was mostly empty by the time Merlin left the classroom. Because he was still not fully paying attention to his surroundings, he bumped into a big body on his way out. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, not looking up. He was shoved harshly into a wall. 

“Watch where you’re going, fag.” Valiant sneered and dropped Merlin from where he was holding him by the shirt. Straightening himself out, Merlin tried his best to act like nothing had happened and moved quickly and swiftly towards the dining hall. 

___________________________________________

Walking across the quad, Merlin stopped briefly to admire the foliage. Will, of course, always laughed when he did this, but there was something grounding about the turning leaves and the autumn colors. The leaves were falling later and later every year due to climate change, but they would all be gone from the trees soon and then Merlin would get to enjoy the crunching sound and feeling under his feet. 

“Are you standing around missing Will? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be back on your knees in no time.” He whirled around. Valiant was swaggering over to him, surrounded by his posse. He was purposefully loud, drawing the attention of the other students. Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to act brave. 

“You seem to have invested a lot of thought into him. Only heard his name once but you remembered. I’ll tell him you’re interested.” Merlin could have sworn he actually heard a member of the crowd say “oooooh” but he wasn’t sure. 

Valiant glared. “Shut the fuck up. Not everyone’s a faggot like you.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, trying not to shake. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew he was in physical danger and should try to extract himself as calmly as possible. He also knew that it probably wouldn’t work if he did. “Is that the only insult you know? If you’re going to be a bigoted arsehole at least be creative.”

“Yeah, well we’ll see where your big mouth gets you when it’s under my foot.”

“Are you saying you’re going to stomp my face or are you just being kinky?” The crowd was getting bigger now and, yeah, that was definitely Gwaine saying ooooh. 

Valiant spat on the ground. “Want to come closer and say that again, fairy?” 

“Not particularly. Look, Valiant, I know you’re a busy guy and I don’t want to take up your time. It’s almost four o’clock; isn’t that when you usually get your minions to reassure you that you’ve got a big cock? Got to nurture that masculinity.” He was just digging himself a deeper hole and he knew it. 

“I’d watch what I said if I were you.” 

“Right, sorry. I forgot that our levels of vocabulary are different. Nurture means to take care of.”

He tried to turn and walk away but before he knew it Valiant had grabbed him, turned him around, and was holding him by his shirt, not unlike he was a few hours earlier. 

Merlin had had his fair share of bullies over the years. Being lanky and nerdy had always made him an easy target. Will had had to save him quite a few times. Several times in primary school even Gwen had to resort to violence in order to save Merlin from another cracked rib. Still, he could hold his own against the average sized person, but not someone like Valiant who looked like he could bench press a bus. 

He saw, more than felt, himself get thrown to the ground. By the time he could even try to react, Valiant had already kicked him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He barely registered the yelling around him. There were a few more kicks and Merlin thought he felt something crack, but his senses were too overwhelmed to figure out where. He was forced onto his back and Valiant collapsed on top of him, punching him in the face. Merlin tried to shove him off but to no avail. Suddenly, Valiant was pulled off of him and there was someone else’s face hovering over him. 

“Merlin, Jesus, are you all right?” The voice sounded panicked. 

“Leon?”

“Are you all right?” 

Merlin hesitated a moment. Was he all right? It certainly wasn’t the worst he’d had, not by a long shot, but there was the taste of copper in his mouth and he was having a hard time breathing without being in pain. 

“I’m not sure. I think so.” Leon didn’t look reassured. Merlin slowly noticed that standing around him were Gwaine, Lance, and Percival. “Hi guys.”

Gwaine chuckled. “Hello there. Think you can stand?” 

“I’m fine down here,” Merlin argued.

“No you’re not. Percival? Could you carry him?” 

“What?” Merlin shook his head, “No. I don’t need to be carried, Lance. Carried where?”

“The nurse! You’re bleeding and I think you might have a broken rib or two.”

“Nah,” he looked over at his roommate. “Just a cracked one, I think. Doesn’t feel like it’s broken.” 

“You can tell the difference?”

Merlin grinned. “I’m a man of many talents.” 

“All right, well, let’s go, wonder boy,” Gwaine said, gesturing to Percival who scooped him up gently. 

“Ow,” He deadpanned. “This will definitely help my reputation. ‘Did you see Merlin being carried across the quad earlier?’ ‘Yeah, he’s really macho.’”

“Macho?” Leon echoed. 

“Give me a break, I’m injured.” They moved towards the building in silence for a few moments, with Leon and Lance exchanging concerned looks every couple of seconds. Merlin realized he didn’t even know what had happened. “Where’s Valiant?”

“Probably with the assistant headmaster. One of the teachers dragged him away once we got him off you. He’ll get a slap on the wrist,” Lance told him. 

“That’s it?”

He nodded sagely. “Unfortunately. His parents give a lot of money to the school.”

“Consider yourself lucky that a teacher came out when they did,” Gwaine added. “If he hadn’t been obvious that you were pretty much defenseless-”

“Hey!”

“Then they probably would have blamed you both for fighting and you’d be in just as much trouble, maybe more.” 

The nurse’s office was empty when they arrived. There was a sign on her desk that said she would be back in five minutes - although who knows when it had been written - so Percival put him down on the bed and he resigned himself to waiting. 

“Thanks, guys. I’ll see you at tea?” They all looked at each other in a way that told Merlin they were having a silent conversation but he had no idea what it meant. It was one of those things that only people who had been close friends for a long time could do; Merlin could do it with his friends.

“Merlin, mate, did you think we were going to leave?” Gwaine asked. Merlin scrunched his eyebrows. 

“You’re not? Did Valiant hurt one of you too?”

“No, Merlin,” Leon sighed and sat down in a chair at the bedside, the rest of them following and dragging more chairs over. “But we aren’t going to leave you alone.”

“Oh.” He didn’t want them to feel a responsibility just because they lived on the same floor - which they honestly seemed to find a lot more important than any other people Merlin had met here - or because they were the ones that helped him with Valiant. “You don’t have to. I appreciate it though. I’m sure you guys have a lot to do.” There they went again, exchanging weird glances. 

“We’re happy to stay. No one should have to deal with Nurse Alice alone.” Gwaine was clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“She is a bit…overwhelming,” Leon admitted. 

Merlin wasn’t sure how to respond. He had sort of figured that even though all of them were incredibly nice to Merlin it was because they were, well, nice. He didn’t expect them to try and be his friend or anything though and he worried it was more out of pity than anything else. He tried to make his smile seem genuine.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, mate,” Gwaine said. “What are friends for?”

___________________________________________

Later, when Merlin was lying in bed with an ice pack and his history textbook, his phone rang. Picking it up, he saw that it was a video call from his mother. He groaned and then swallowed nervously. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him and be worried. Damn Will for teaching her how to video chat. 

“Leon? I don’t have headphones, do you mind if I talk to my mum?”

He smiled. “Not at all. Want me to leave?”

“No. I just didn’t want to be rude.” He reluctantly accepted the call. “Hi mum.”

“Merlin Gaius Emrys! Why did I have to learn about you getting hurt by a call from the nurse? Are you okay? Oh my god, your eye!”

Shit. He’d forgotten about the nurse. Of course she called his mother. 

“I’m fine, Mum! It’s just a black eye, I’ve had plenty of those before,” he smiled goofily. 

“That’s not funny, Merlin. And I asked you a question! Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you! I’m fine! I take paracetamol and I have ice. If I wasn’t okay the nurse wouldn’t have let me go back to my room.” He heard Leon huff a laugh. The nurse  _ had _ in fact tried to get him to stay for a while longer but Merlin insisted he was fine and that all he needed was to lie down. “You have enough to worry about without me adding to that.”

She sighed and gave him a sad smile. “I’ll always worry about you, Merlin. And don’t give me that look! You would act the same way if I got beat up and didn’t tell you, young man.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re not in school. For kids it’s getting beat up - for adults it’s called assault. Besides, you’re used to it being me, I’m not used to it being you.”

“Don’t be cheeky. And you think that makes me feel better? That I’m  _ used  _ to my son being bullied?” She frowned and hesitated for a moment. “What happened?”

“The usual. Some arsehole-”

“Merlin!”

“Sorry. Somebody with an overinflated ego and a massive superiority complex assumes I’m gay - which in all fairness he’s right about - doesn’t like it, and decides the best solution is to beat it out of me.” 

“Please don’t say that.” Her eyes were glossy and Merlin sighed. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Oh, Merlin, it isn’t you that upset me, love.”

“I know.”

She seemed to consider her next words carefully. “Is everything okay there? Do you need me to come get you? Do you  _ want  _ me to come get you?”

“No, Mum. I’m all right. I’m having a really good time!” That last part might have been a bit of an exaggeration and they both knew it. 

“Are you sure you’re not too lonely without a roommate? You might be an only child but Will practically lives here so you’re used to sharing a room.” 

He laughed. “I actually got moved into a new room yesterday. I was going to tell you. I have a roommate now.”

“That’s wonderful! Is he nice to you? Are you getting along?” 

“I think so. Leon, want to say hi to my mum?” 

Leon laughed. “Sure.” Merlin turned the camera towards him. “Hello, Ms. Emrys. Your son is a wonderful roommate so far.” 

“Ah, what a polite young man you are!” 

“Mum!” Merlin scolded, embarrassed. Leon just smiled. 

“I’m going to head to the dining hall. I’ll bring you back food, all right, Merlin?”

“Thanks, Leon.” 

He nodded. “Anytime. Nice to meet you, Ms. Emrys.” 

“You too!” He left and Merlin flipped the camera back on himself. “He seems sweet.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty nice. He seems fine that I’ve invaded his space so that’s good. And his mates are nice too. They’re actually the ones who brought me to the nurse earlier.”

Hunith beamed and looked at him strangely. She remained silent for an awkward amount of time and Merlin wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say something. “I’m so proud of you, Merlin.”

“Because I have a roommate?” Merlin asked, tilting his head in confusion. 

“Because you’re growing into the best man I know.”

He laughed. “Thanks but you have to think that; you’re my mum.”

“I’m serious, Merlin. These last few years…you’ve taken on a lot of responsibility that you shouldn’t have had to and I shouldn’t have let you.”

“Mum…”

“No, let me finish. I don't know anybody who would be able to do what you've done.”

“You do, Mum. All the time.”

She shook her head. “I’m your mother and I’m an adult. And you’ll always be my child but I don’t think you’ve been a kid in a long time.” She had tears running down her cheeks now. “And I’m so sorry for that. It isn’t fair to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the life you deserve. You are the best part of my life and my greatest achievement. I love you more than anything.”

“Mum…I love you more than anything too. But you didn’t do anything wrong. Life hasn’t been fair to you either. And you  _ have  _ given me the life I deserve. I’m happy! I have a wonderful mother and wonderful friends. Despite everything going on for you, you’re sending me to one of the greatest schools in the country. Please don’t feel bad about that.”

“You’ve always been able to see the best in people. Promise me you won’t lose that?”

“Why are you talking like that? Is one of us dying and I don’t know?” 

She laughed. “No. I just don’t tell you how special you are enough.” He blushed even though it was only his mother. “I’ll let you rest now.”

“Okay.” Merlin was surprised to find it was difficult to speak. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I’ll call you this weekend, all right?” 

“Please.” They said their goodbyes and hung up. Merlin sighed. It was clear that Hunith wasn’t doing well. This was when Freya would usually say he was projecting, but that didn’t make him worry any less.

Whenever his mother wasn’t doing well she got like this. The problem wasn’t that she was emotional. Merlin and Hunith were always very open about their feelings. She had no time for toxic masculinity and the idea that men did not or should not have emotions. She raised Merlin to always speak his mind and to share how he felt. The teacher he had during year two had expressed her concern that Merlin was overly emotional and didn’t fit in well with the other boys because he expressed his feelings and appreciation for others too openly. Hunith had called her sexist and demanded she apologize to Merlin. It had been embarrassing at the time but he always reflected on it with a smile. 

No, emotionality wasn’t the problem. The problem was that when Hunith got to thinking this way (that she was a terrible mother or that Merlin was miserable) she wasn’t able to stop. She called them thought spirals and they consumed her mind for hours, days, or weeks. Sometimes they were about important things like bills and sometimes they were about something the average person may not have thought mattered, like whether or not she had offended the woman at the shops the other day when she called her ma’am even though she was young. 

Merlin was incredibly thankful that Will and Freya were around to check up on her. He knew logically that his mother was a grown woman who could take care of herself, but it didn’t stop him worrying. Hunith did a poor job of ever admitting she needed help or that she was having a hard time. He knew she didn’t want to be a burden, and that no matter how many times Merlin explained that she wasn’t it wouldn’t matter. Will and Freya promised to do their best to keep him up to date, but just from speaking to her for five minutes Merlin could see things weren’t great.

Merlin felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He should be home with his mum. She spent the last seventeen years taking care of him and he had just up and left despite how much she was struggling. And yes, he knew that may have been irrational. He wasn’t gone, just away. His home was still with her and nothing would change that any time soon. He was not abandoning his mother. 

But sitting on his bed in a strange room, in a strange school, in a strange place, Merlin couldn’t help but think he was doing just that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delayed update. My uni shut down and I’ve been dealing with that. But self-isolation should lead to more writing.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur tells his friends what’s going on, goes for a swim, but mostly just mopes around.

“How was it?” Morgana was waiting in Arthur’s rooms when he got back, sitting on his couch, popping his blueberries into her mouth, one at a time. He wasn’t sure why he even bothered locking the door anymore. 

Collapsing into a nearby chair with his legs stretched out and his eyes closed, he sighed. “It was great fun. Have you never spent three hours in a room with strangers writing a speech about your private life and your sexual preferences to be given to quite literally the whole world right before Christmas? Shame. You should try it sometime.” Morgana rolled her eyes.

“I came by to make sure you were all right.”

“No,” he said, “you came by to steal my food.”

“Touche. But are you? All right?” Arthur shrugged. He wasn’t even sure how he was feeling, himself, so he couldn’t properly articulate it to his Morgana. 

“I’m…I’m fine, I think.”

“Yeah?” She sounded skeptical. He nodded and pushed himself up in his chair. 

“Yeah. I have homework to do,” he gave her a significant look. “So…I should probably go do that.” 

“Well, have fun. I’m heading back to my dorm in a few minutes so ring if you need me.”

“Right. I’ll see you at Christmas?” 

“Before then,” Morgana said, rolling her eyes. “Did you really think I wouldn’t be here when you come out? Of course I’ll see you before then.” 

“Okay,” Arthur smiled halfheartedly. He was grateful for his sister’s support but really wanted to be done discussing the subject for the day. “Have a good rest of term.” 

“You too. I’ll call you soon.” She left and Arthur went back to moping. About an hour later, Gilli knocked on the door and entered. 

He took one look at the prince and said, “Well, don’t you look happy!” Arthur looked out over his hands while he scrubbed his face to get the haze out of his eyes. 

“Sod off. What do you want?”

“I came to see what  _ you  _ wanted. I haven’t heard anything from you since this morning,” he commented. “Do you know how unusual that is? What’s going on?” 

Arthur sighed. What he wanted was to avoid all human contact for the rest of the day. That was unrealistic though, and he knew it. Even if the public didn’t know he was in London, the household did and he had appearances to keep. And honestly, he wasn’t sure how Gilli was going to react. Arthur would not pin him as homophobic, but there was a difference between not hating gay people and being okay with someone you spend a lot of time with being gay. He had seen plenty of people online who had found that out the hard way. But he was going to have to tell his valet eventually and now was as good a time as any. 

“Sit,” he ordered. Gilli did. “I’m going to say this all once, because I’m tired and have no interest in saying it again so listen closely. A few days ago The Sun got hold of a picture of me kissing someone. A guy. My father and the press office made a deal with them and long story short on December nineteenth I’ll be announcing to the nation that I’m gay.” Arthur looked pointedly at a painting hanging on the wall opposite him. He was afraid to look him in the eyes. 

“Oh. Okay.” 

Arthur snapped his attention back to Gilli. “Wait, what?” 

“I don’t mind,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, that’s what you were worried about, right? That I’d mind?” Arthur hesitantly nodded. “Well I don’t. I wish this wasn’t happening to you but I honestly couldn’t give less of a shit that you’re gay. So am I.” 

“You are? Why the hell didn’t you say anything earlier?” Arthur half laughed and half yelled. 

“ _ You  _ didn’t say anything earlier! Besides, I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about a gay guy being around all the time while you were half naked.”

“I wouldn’t care.” 

“I didn’t think you would but I would never have been sure and then I would feel awkward.” Gilli paused for a moment. “Do you have a boyfriend? Is that who you were kissing?” 

“No,” Arthur scoffed. “Who would I date? The only people who know are my mates and now you, my father, and Morgana.”

“Umm…the guy you kissed? He probably knows.”

“Fair enough. But no, he’s just…I don’t know. We were drunk and I’m not even sure he remembers. Although he won’t look me in the eyes now, so maybe he does.”

“Is  _ he _ out?” Gilli asked. Arthur laughed. 

“Nobody at Camlann Academy has ever been openly gay; I’m sure I’ll be the first.”

Gilli gave him a sad look. It wasn’t quite pitying but it was close enough to it that it made him uncomfortable. Arthur cleared his throat and stood up. 

“I have a paper due next week so I should go work on that.” He started towards his bedroom. 

“Sure. Need anything?” Arthur didn’t turn around.

“I’m fine.” 

___________________________________________

  
  


“So are you going to actually tell us what’s going on?”

__ “Are you going to actually tell  _ me  _ what’s going on? What happened with Valiant and the new kid?” 

“Don’t worry you pretty little head about that, princess. We handled it.” 

Arthur was video chatting with his friends, all of whom were sprawled across his and Gwaine’s room. They had all been pretty reticent to discuss Leon’s new roommate and Arthur figured he would let it go for the time being. 

“So? What’s going on, Arthur?” Leon looked worried. All of them did, in fact. He had no interest in explaining the situation for a second time that day, but he knew it was unlikely he would be able to make it six seconds when he was back in their room before Gwaine interrogated him and telling them all at once was easier than telling them all individually. 

“Do you remember that party a few weeks back?”

“The one that Gwaine got way too high at or the one that Gwaine got way too drunk at?”

“Oi! For your information, I got drunk at  _ both  _ of them. I just happened to get crossed at one of them. Get your facts straight, Leon.” 

“Please stop,” Percival begged.

“Yeah, I can already tell that this is going to turn into a full fledged argument and I reserve the right as prefect to separate you.”

“ _ Anyway _ , getting back to the story you’ve all been insisting you needed to hear…”

“Sorry.”

“I meant the one that Gwaine got crossed at. Only Percival knows this because he came to get me so we could drag Gwaine home, but I made out with a guy.” The guys whooped at Arthur rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, turns out he wasn’t the only one that saw.”

“What do you mean? Who?”

“I don’t know. But whoever it was had a camera. The Albion Sun has it.”

“What?”

“Holy shit.”

“Fuck.”

“Arthur, are you okay?” Lance - of course it was Lance who was automatically worried about his mental state above all else - said. 

“I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not.”

“Gwaine!” Leon glared at him. 

“He’s right; I’m really not.” There was nothing to do but admit it because his friends already knew. They all looked at each other and frowned. 

“So,” Leon began slowly, “what are you going to do? When are they printing it?”

“They’re not. Father made a deal with them. As long as I come out by the new year and do an exclusive interview with one of their reporters, then they won’t print it. I’m not allowed to interview about it again for at least six months but that’s fine with me; I hadn’t really planned on it anyway.” 

“Jesus Christ, Arthur,” Leon breathed more than said.

“Yeah. So that’s why I got called back to London.”

“And your father?” 

“Surprisingly supportive.”

“Really?” Gwaine, as per usual, was skeptical when it came to Uther’s parenting skills. Arthur couldn’t exactly blame him. 

“Yeah. It turns out he has a cousin who was outed in the nineties and he was pretty vocally supportive. It got buried partially because of my grandfather’s efforts and partially because the Berlin Wall came down the next week, so people were more focused on that than anything else, obviously.”

“Yeah, but, mate. I don’t want to cruel but isn’t it possible that even if he’s not homophobic he’s still not…happy with  _ you _ being gay?”

“That’s what I thought but honestly, Lance, he’s okay with it. He even told me that he’s suspected for most of my life. Morgana too.” 

“Well…good then. Do you want to, I don’t know, talk about how you’re feeling?”

“I think there’s probably nothing in the world I’d like to do less. But thanks, Leon. I appreciate it.” 

“Well, we’re here if you need us. And I mean  _ here _ . There’s no way we’re letting Gwaine go out again this weekend. Not after last weekend. Our room still has a faint vomit smell.” Arthur was grateful for Lance attempting to lighten the mood by changing the subject. He was the type of person who wanted to hear about how his friends were feeling, but respected it when they didn’t want to talk and moved on quickly. 

“Hey! I can make decisions for myself, thanks very much. ‘Sides, how would you keep me here? Gonna try to scare me with a demerit?” 

“I lift twice your weight at the gym,” Percival said, grinning. “There’s no way you’re having a drop of alcohol this weekend.”

“Arthur! Come back and save me from these arseholes. Steal me some of your dad’s whiskey, yeah? He’s got excellent taste in booze, if nothing else.” Arthur laughed. 

“You honestly think I’d help you? The amount of rugs I’ve had to replace because of you is ridiculous. But I might come back tomorrow night. I thought I’d feel better staying here but I’m going to do my best to avoid speech writers for the foreseeable future. In which case,  _ I  _ will be drinking and anyone but Gwaine is welcome to join me.”

“I object to that but either way, bring the whiskey. I’ll have it next weekend.”

“No. No way. I’m not stealing my father’s alcohol for you. How do you think that would go for me? I’d have George babysitting me for a month.”

“Fine, then can you get your sister to get us something? We’re running out of everything.” The rest of them groaned. Gwaine was persistent, they had to give him that. 

“Why can’t you get your own drinks? Last time I brought anything from London back to Camlann Mithian took it and I’m one hundred percent sure she drank it all within a week.” That just made Gwaine smile. 

“My kind of woman.” Everyone groaned again. 

“And with that, I’m leaving,” Lance said. “I’ll see you all later. Text or call if you need anything, Arthur.” 

“Thanks. I should go too. If I don’t get some work done soon George is going to have a conniption.”

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


“Sir, are you absolutely sure that that was a good idea? You’re still recovering.” Arthur rolled his eyes. George was practically having a panic attack when he was tracking Arthur down, only to find him swimming in the pool. He needed some sort of exercise to distract himself and figured swimming would put less strain on his injury than something like running or a punching bag. He had only been gone for half an hour before his assistant had found him and basically squealed. Arthur had gotten out of the pool because he knew that the longer he stayed in the more anxious George would get and he had no interest in dealing with his fussing today. It hadn’t worked and he still fussed. 

Behind George, Gilli rolled his eyes. They were back in Arthur’s bedroom. On their way in, George had snapped at Gilli to get another towel despite the fact that Arthur thought the one he had was still perfectly functional. Now he was being forced into pajamas by an exasperated valet and an annoying assistant. 

“I was fine, George. I took my medicine already and the doctor said I could be back on my feet by now. I’ve been up for two days and I feel fine.” 

“Due respect, sir, but two days after you were cut open and stitched back up-” George had such a way with words “-you took two ninety minute car rides and went to classes! You need to be more careful, sir, otherwise you might tear open your stitches.” Gilli shrugged as if to say George had a point and Arthur glared at him. 

“There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of exercise. If I laze about all day my muscles will atrophy.” Gilli snorted. 

“I don’t think you’re in any danger of that, sir. Why don’t you lie down? Gilli here will bring you a cup of tea and you can take a nap, hmm? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“I’m not a child, George,” Arthur snarled, “and I’d prefer if you didn’t treat me like one. Just yesterday you were complaining about how I had things to do so let me do them. I’ll stay within my rooms if it makes you happy but I’m not sleeping.” 

George sighed but relented. He helped Arthur into his dressing gown while Gilli retrieved his slippers, ignoring Arthur’s protests. George then guided him to his private sitting room and the couch as if he wasn’t sure the prince knew where it was. Arthur let him though; anything that got him to leave faster. Gilli did, in fact, bring him a cup of tea and then they left him alone.

Arthur opened his laptop and saw he had several emails from the press office marked as important, all of which he ignored. He responded to the one from his English teacher and a few from some of his more senior family members who hadn’t quite gotten the hang of texting, but froze when he saw the next unopened message.   
  


**From: Morgause le Fay**

**Subject: Got sent an interesting picture from my friend at The Sun…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Merlin and Arthur will interact in the next chapter. My intention was not to have it take this long but here we are. It’s called a slow burn for a reason, folks.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Merlin sees Gwen, Leon is a good roommate, and the author finally gives what is promised, but only briefly.

On Saturday morning Merlin was extremely anxious. Not the nervous, stressful type of anxious that he usually was, but an excited anxious. He quickly dressed in his old, ratty, blue, woollen jumper and denim trousers. As he was stuffing things into his rucksack and checking for at least the eighth time that his wallet was in his pocket, Leon cleared his throat.

“Umm, I don’t mean to overstep but are you sure it’s a good idea for you to go out?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, you have a cracked rib. How far are you walking?”

“Don’t know,” Merlin shrugged. “Not far. I’ll be more than okay. Fresh air? Don’t they say that’s healthy or something?” Leon laughed.

“Suit yourself. Hey, is it all right with you if the guys come over tonight? They’ll be alcohol but we won’t get into any trouble.”

“That’s fine with me. But you’re sure we won’t get in trouble for having it in our room?”

“Nah. When the prefect’s drinking you’re pretty much fine.” 

Merlin laughed. He was vaguely uncomfortable with the idea but he wouldn’t say that to Leon. It wasn’t that Merlin didn’t drink, because he did. Will and he had gotten plastered more than a few times. He just didn’t love the idea of all those people whom he barely knew in his room. He was sure they were nice blokes, but if they started hanging out in his and Leon’s room, that meant the prince would be there too. At least he didn’t have to worry about that for the time being. 

But no, Merlin wasn’t concerned about the drinking. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if Gwen offered him a drink today. That was where he was going: to see Gwen. Merlin missed her so unimaginably much. His first week had been abysmal but being able to see her made up for it. 

“All right. Well, I’m off. Text me when I can come back to the room?” 

“What?” Leon shook his head. “I wasn’t trying to kick you out of the room or anything. It’s your room too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And you’re more than welcome to join us; we’ve got enough to go around.” Merlin smiled. It was nice of Leon to include him. He could only hope that it was because he and his friends genuinely liked him and wanted to spend time with him and not out of pity or obligation, but either way, Merlin would take what he could get. 

“Thanks. Where do you get alcohol around here anyway?”

“Usually Gwaine gets it and I’ve never been brave enough to ask where from. But I think Percival is picking it up this time. No one is going to question if he’s old enough.” 

“Fair point. All right. I’ll see you later then?” He pulled his rucksack onto one of his shoulders. 

“Yep. Have fun on your date,” he joked. 

“Oh haha,” Merlin said sarcastically and reached for the door. 

“Hey…that reminds me,” Leon rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he spoke. “The other night, when you were talking to your mother…” Merlin dropped the door handle. 

“Oh. Right.”

“Was it…I know it’s none of my business but is it true? Are you, you know?”

“Gay?”

“Yeah.”

Merlin wasn’t ashamed of who he was and he had been out since he was fourteen, but he hadn’t told anyone at Camlann Academy. At first it wasn’t deliberate, it just never came up. But after the note that was left for him on his notebook on Wednesday, he figured it was probably safer to not mention it at all. Hell, he got beat up even  _ without _ saying anything. He had no doubt that Leon wouldn’t care, but being comfortable with homosexuality and being comfortable getting dressed and undressed with a homosexual in your room were two different things, or so it was explained to him but the arseholes at home who refused to change if he was in the locker room. Merlin still thought it was incredibly homophobic, but it wasn’t always worth the arguments; they could get exhausting. Leon was his roommate and he would be devastated if even  _ he  _ wasn’t comfortable around Merlin.  __

__ “What? Valiant not make it clear enough for everyone? Or did he get the whole school in on it now? First person to find out if the new kid’s a fag gets a prize?” Merlin couldn’t help how resentful he sounded. 

“I don't take marching orders from Valiant.” That wasn’t what Merlin expected. Logically, he knew he was being less than fair to Leon. After all, he and his friends were the ones who had pulled Valiant off of him and brought him to the nurse. Still, the conviction in his roommate’s voice made Merlin think he had broached a sensitive topic. Merlin sighed and backed off. 

“Sorry. I know. So you don’t mind? That I’m…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah.” Leon chuckled a little at having the opposite dialogue they had had a minute earlier. 

“No, I really don’t. And anyone who does is an arse, in my book.”

“Good,” Merlin swallowed and nodded, trying to put himself together. “I’m glad. I was worried that if you knew you might think I’m going to…I don’t know…stare? Or whatever?”

“If you did, you’d only be disappointed,” Leon joked. Merlin laughed. “Why would you think I’d think that?” 

“Plenty of people have before. A lot of the boys I went to school with asked - well, I say asked but it wasn’t really a request - they asked me to change in the bathrooms so I wouldn’t try to, quote ‘eye fuck them while they changed.’”

“Really? That’s ridiculous.”

“Well, Ealdor is a pretty conservative place…Some UKIP, unfortunately. But yeah, mostly tories. Oh shit, sorry, I don’t know if you’re-”

“Definitely not. And none of the guys are either.”

“None of them?” Merlin scoffed. “Not even you-know who?”

“God no,” Leon said, barking out a short laugh. “No, not at all. Don’t say anything to anyone but us though. It’s important that the royal family doesn’t appear to be partisan in any way. I’m only telling you because I’m sure you’ll be around when Arthur inevitably rants about some policy or another.”

“Good to know. And, um, thanks,” Merlin offered as he turned to leave. 

“Nothing to thank me for. Have a good time with your friend.”  
  


___________________________________________

Merlin shivered. It was starting to get a little chillier out now that it was into the middle of October. He wasn’t wearing a jacket because he would never have gotten it to fit over his jumper. Still though, the walk to Gwen’s house was beautiful. None of the houses on her road were old, per say; all built within the last century, but there was still something nostalgic and cozy about them. The road was lined with trees that had only half shed their leaves. The sun seemed particularly bright and it helped to highlight the oranges, yellows, and reds of the leaves both fallen and on trees. All of it was wonderful, but nothing more so than Gwen’s house. 

Maybe it was the brick steps leading up to the front door or the light blue siding with faded red shutters. Maybe it was the crooked number on the door or the window boxes full of herbs. Maybe it was the messy lawn covered in plants and a deserted shovel (a sure sign the Elyan, Gwen’s brother, had been there) or the stereotypical but old white picket fence. Whatever it was, it felt like Gwen and as he approached, he smelt home. No, it didn’t smell like the home he shared with his mother, but he smelt it and  _ felt  _ like he was at home. He was embarrassed that there was a tear rolling down his cheek and he quickly swiped it away. 

It was the first time he had felt like that in a long time. Not just since a week ago, when he left, but in a few years. Since around the time Gwen left. Will was his best friend, his first friend, and he was always there when Merlin needed him, but no matter how hard he tried, sometimes he just couldn’t understand how Merlin was feeling. And Freya was the sweetest and most gentle person he knew but it was just different with Gwen. 

Gwen knew when to comfort Merlin and when to tell him to stop wallowing in self-pity. She knew how to navigate the more complicated times with his mum. She knew when Freya needed a confidence boost and when Will needed to be forced to actually communicate and talk about his feelings (something that even after thirteen years as his best friend, Merlin didn’t always get right). Of course, Gwen wasn’t perfect, but her imperfections just made her friends like her more. 

Merlin took a deep breath when he got to the top of the step in a futile attempt to compose himself. It was a mistake though, because he had forgotten about his cracked rib and ended up doubled over, coughing and in pain. After a minute, he was able to stand up straight. He faced the front door that had a fresh coat of red paint on it. There were little splashes of paint on the surrounding siding (a sign that Elyan and Gwen had probably gotten into a paint fight while working on it because Tom would never make such a mess). He smiled and rang the doorbell. 

Immediately, there was a squeal from inside and the sound of feet pounding as someone ran down a staircase. The door swung open. 

“Merlin!” Gwen jumped into a hug, her arms around his neck. “I can’t believe you’re here.” She pulled back to look at his face but didn’t let him go. 

“Hiya, Gwen,” he gave her a goofy smile. “Did you miss me?” 

“You know I did. And you missed me too. Now what the hell is that?” She grabbed his face by the chin with one hand but used her other to gently caress his cheek. Light as a feather, she moved her thumb over his black eye. He hissed. She pulled him inside and forced him into what was evidently the sitting room, pushing him down onto the sofa. “What happened?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Same shit different day. Or different school, more like.” She frowned. As she sat down, Gwen put her arms around Merlin. 

“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. Is anything else hurt?”

“Nope.” 

“Merlin,” she demanded and gave him what he and his friends all called the Uncle Gaius Eyebrow. He sighed. 

“One of my left ribs is cracked. But I’m honestly fine! Does this have to be the first thing we talk about?” She glared at him. He loved Mother Bear Gwen but only when it was directed at someone else - especially Will because he hated it and Merlin could laugh at him. 

“Fine. You’re off the hook for now.”

“Sorry for getting beat up.” 

“That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. How have you been?” She kissed his cheek and sat back. 

“I’m all right. I’m mostly just trying to survive living with Elyan and Dad. They’re sorry they missed you, by the way, but they’ll be back for tea.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do - I mean, I don’t want to impose.”

“Oh, shut up, Merlin. Of course you’re staying to eat. If you didn’t have a curfew, you’d be staying the night. But what about you! How’s Camlann?” 

“It’s…interesting,” he hedged but saw that she wasn’t buying it for a second. “I’m sure it will get better. I just need some time to adjust, is all.”

“Okay…if you’re sure. It’s only been a week and you’ve already got a black eye so I don’t know if it’s going to get better.”

“Thanks, Gwen,” Merlin deadpanned. She jumped in her seat. 

“Oh no no no! I don’t mean it  _ won't _ , I just meant it’s unlikely. I mean, no, it’s not - I’m sure it will be better soon.” He considered teasing her and pretending to be offended but Gwen looked so concerned that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he smiled and grabbed on of her hands, squeezing it briefly before letting go. 

“You’re fine. I don’t mind. It is what it is, anyway. But you can’t mention it to my mum. I mean it. She knows about the black eye but not that the rest of it isn’t going well and she  _ can’t  _ know,” This is where Will would argue with him and tell him to “get some balls and tell mummy what’s wrong, Merlykins” but Gwen understood better than he did, even if she didn’t like it. “So,” he tried to move her to another subject, “what’s the plan for today?”

“I figured we could go into town first. I saw a help wanted sign at a coffee shop in the square on my way home the other day.”

“Oh yes, because me handling hot liquids will end so well.” Gwen laughed and jokingly shoved him in the arm. 

“I’m sure you’d be fine at it, third degree burns notwithstanding. Is that what you're wearing?” She gestured at his jumper. 

“You like this jumper! That’s part of why I wore it,” he protested, pouting.

“I  _ do  _ love it. Just maybe not when you’re looking for jobs?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s got too many holes to be considered anything but casual.”

“That’s just part of the aesthetic,” Merlin tried unsuccessfully not to grin. 

“You can’t even say that with a straight face. You’re ridiculous.” He flashed her an impish smile. “Are you in a lot of pain? Because if you’re not feeling up to walking that far we could always go next weekend,” she offered. He shook his head. 

“No. I need a job as soon as possible. Besides, I don’t want to take up all your weekends. You have other things to do and friends to see.”

“You’re not ‘taking up’ my weekends! And you’re my best friend. I want to be with you! And yeah, there are a few girls I go to school with that are nice enough but they’re more school friends, you know? I’ve missed you so much and I want to spend as much time with you as possible,” she suddenly lost confidence in what she was saying. “I mean, that is, if  _ you  _ want to. You’re not obligated to spend all of your free time with me, obviously-”

“Gwen,” he smiled at her. “I want to spend my time with you too.” She beamed. 

“Great! Okay, let’s get going. But you should probably let me put some coverup on that eye.” He grimaced but nodded. He wasn’t looking forward to trying to find work with a big sign on his face that said “look at me! I’m trouble!” In his memory, Gwen was very good at this though. Hopefully she still kept his shade.

____ _______________________________________

“Well that was a bust.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true! They said they’d call!” They were walking back from the cafe Gwen had said was hiring. Merlin had gone in and asked for a resume to fill out, which he did, but the look the woman behind the counter was making at him did not bode well. 

“How would you know that? You didn’t even come in with me. I still think that’s weird, by the way. Whatever. Do you know anywhere else I could try?”

“I really think you should wait and see what they say,” she urged. 

“Either way I should apply to multiple places. Just in case.”

“I don’t think you should,” Gwen looked sad at even the implication that he might not get the job. 

“Why are you so insistent that I work at the coffee place?” He raised his eyebrows at her and she looked away briefly. Gwen nervously tugged on the strap of her purse. 

“Okay. I possibly, kinda, a little bit, am working there now?” She looked away guiltily. 

“Gwen! Why didn’t you tell me before?” It didn’t make sense. If she wanted Merlin to work with her, why did she not just say so?

“I didn’t want to make you more nervous! And I thought they would hire you on the spot so it wasn’t going to last long anyway! I would have told you right after,” she explained. Merlin stopped walking.

“Wait,” she stopped and turned to him. “The only reason you would think they would hire me on the spot is if they hired  _ you  _ on the spot.” She didn’t answer. “ _ Gwen _ .” Gwen bit her lip and nodded. 

“Ugh,” Merlin groaned. “So now we know I definitely didn’t get the job!” She looked like she was going to cry. He really hadn’t meant to make her feel guilty. “It’s not your fault, Gwen. Come here,” he hugged her and she buried her face in his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry. I swear, I truly  _ did _ look for other places but nobody else is hiring. I even went to all the shops on Main Street and in the square but-”

“You didn’t have to do that!”

“Merlin, there are like thirty places in the whole town and it took me less than two minutes to ask.”

“Still…”

“I’m so sorry. What are you going to do?” He pulled away and kissed her forehead. 

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry, okay?” She nodded. “That wasn’t very convincing,” Merlin teased. “I don't believe that you’re not going to worry.”

“Yes, well I don’t believe that you actually think you’re going to be able to figure it out.”

“Touché.”

He took her hand and they walked back to her house in silence. Gwen made them both tea when they got inside. She handed his to him after putting in just the right amount of sugar and honey. He smiled. 

“You remembered how I like it.” 

“Of course I did,” she rolled her eyes. “I may not have seen you in a while but we chat almost every day; it’s not like I don’t see you drinking tea on FaceTime at least once a week. You’re a stereotype.”

“Hey!”

“I love you anyway,” she giggled and sat down across from him.

“I should have said it before but congratulations. Sorry I didn’t. I was just caught up in the moment.” She waved him off, trying to reassure him that she wasn’t upset. 

“You’re fine. And thanks.” They sat quietly while they enjoyed their tea and way too many biscuits. It was nice to have a friend with whom you could sit in silence with and still be content. Gwen and Merlin didn’t always need to talk in order to enjoy one another’s company. Eventually, Gwen put down her mug and started talking again. “Hey, why don’t we call Will and Freya?” 

“Sure. Group FaceTime?” She shook her head. 

“I texted with Freya this morning. She said she was going to drag Will out of his room to study today, so I think they’re together.” Merlin snorted. 

“Good luck to her.”

“Exactly. Why hasn’t she given up by now?”

“God knows.” 

Freya picked up almost right away when Gwen used her tablet to call her.

“Eeeep! Oh my goodness, seeing you together makes me so happy!” She was sitting at Will’s kitchen table with books spread out everywhere. They heard a loud sigh as Will came over, box of Oreos in hand, and sat beside her. 

“Did you really just say ‘eeeep’ unironically?” She shoved him and Merlin and Gwen laughed. 

“Hi guys,” Merlin said, waving. 

“Hi Freya. Hi Will.”

“Merlin, you have to come home, mate,” Will pleaded. “I can’t survive without someone to keep her away from me.” Merlin and Freya rolled their eyes. 

“Oh, admit it, Will,” Gwen teased. “You just miss your best friend. Too bad. He’s mine now.” 

“I think saying I miss him is taking it a bit far, don’t you?”

“Well even if Will isn’t secure enough in his own masculinity to say it-”

“Oi!”

“I will,” Freya said softly. “I miss you, Merlin.” He smiled. 

“I miss you too, Freya.” He rubbed his face subconsciously but stopped when it hurt his eye. 

“I’m plenty secure in my masculinity, thanks very much.” 

“Sure, Will. Whatever you say.” 

“I thought you were on my side, Merlin!”

“What gave you that idea?” Will rolled his eyes, murmuring something, and disappeared from the screen. The other three laughed. 

“How’s Camlann, Merlin?” 

“It’s all right so far,” he fudged, “could be better.” 

“I know. You know how I know that?” He tilted his head in confusion. 

“How?”

“You rubbed off your makeup,” Freya frowned. “What happened? And don’t say the usual.’”

“Freya…”

“I’m serious. Gwen, can you wipe the rest of the makeup off his face? I want to see how his eye is.”

“He has a cracked rib too,” Gwen told her. 

“Which one?”

“Somewhere on his left side.”

“Umm  _ hello _ ? I don’t know if you remember me but I’m Merlin. You know, the one you’re talking about and not to?” They shrugged in concert with one another and Gwen went to the sink. 

“I know you so I know that you’re not going to give me any straight answers. Gwen will.” Gwen came back with a damp paper towel and gently wiped the rest of the coverup away. Freya gasped and covered her mouth with one hand. 

“What’s wrong?” Will’s voice came from the other room. He stormed in. “Is everything okay?” Freya just pointed at the screen. He sunk into the chair next to her. “Christ, mate. Where’d you get that?”

“You’re all overreacting.”

“You’re dramatically underreacting. And the camera doesn’t do it justice. It’s even worse in person.” 

“I hate you all.”

“No you don’t,” Gwen replied. 

“Whatever. Can we move on? Let’s go back to picking on Will.”

“How ‘bout we don’t do that? Just a suggestion,” Will grumbled. 

“They’ll be plenty of time for that later, Merlin. Why don’t you want to tell us what happened? We’ve all been there when this has happened before. What’s so different this time?” She put her hand on Merlin’s arm. 

“I don’t know! It just is.” None of them said anything; they waited for Merlin to continue, which left him with no choice but to do so. “I guess I thought things would be different. I’m not under any sort of illusion that I’ll ever be popular and I don’t care - I don’t  _ want  _ to be. And my roommate and his friends seem really nice so that’s fine. I just wanted to not be the kid known for how often he gets beat up. And even if it never happens again, this was my first week so that’s the first impression most people got. In Ealdor, nobody cares if you show up to class with a black eye, you guys know that. A couple of times I got high-fives! And trust me, I didn’t enjoy having them in Ealdor but at least…I don’t know. Yesterday people looked at me like I was going to infect them with some kind of delinquent germ.”

“You’re not a delinquent,” Freya assured him. 

“To these people I am. My grades don’t make a difference with that. Everyone here aces all their exams and if they don’t, it doesn’t matter because they’re rich. They have  _ status  _ or whatever. I’ve never cared about that sort of thing before. I’ve never been  _ around  _ people who care about that sort of thing. Now it’s everywhere. So when the scholarship boy has a black eye, well that’s it. My instructors either think I’m some poor, lost child who needs help or that I’m going to try to sell drugs to their kids during family weekend. Which, by the way, is apparently a thing. Because why not have one more thing that singles me out? ‘Where’s the gay kid’s family?’ ‘I heard they’re too poor to come.’ ‘Well I heard they’re all dead.’ ‘I heard they’re all drug addicts.’ This is my reputation now! It wasn’t even like I got into a fight! Half the school saw me get beat up and they still seem to blame me.

“But the worst part is that I don’t know why I care. Most of these people are entitled brats anyway, so why should I care what they think of me? I’ve never been embarrassed to be hurt before. Or to wear Will’s hand-me-downs that are clearly too big for me. And sitting here talking about it I’m not embarrassed but I know that when I get back to campus and everyone else has posh shoes on and I have my muddy trainers with so many holes that you can see me left sock, I’ll blush and put my head down. More than anything I just want to know  _ why _ . I fucking hate it. Why was it so easy not to give a shit before but now it’s all I think about?” 

His friends looked sad. There was no other way to describe it. Merlin automatically tensed up. He didn’t like pity. He regretted ranting like that almost immediately. He almost never complained like that and he didn’t like to but he couldn’t take it back now. Better his friends than his mother, he supposed. 

“Merlin,” Freya began, “it didn’t matter to you in Ealdor because it didn’t matter to  _ anyone _ in Ealdor. But like you said, now you’re around people who it does matter to. It’s so much easier to say you don’t care about what other people think than it is to actually not care.”

“Yeah, mate,” Will nodded. “You know how I feel about those guys. Fuck them all. But I don’t blame you for caring what they think. It’s human nature. And if anyone comes after you again, I’m going to visit you just to kick the shit out of them.”

“You can always call us. None of us have any money either,” Gwen said. Merlin chuckled halfheartedly. “And  _ we _ all know that you’re not a delinquent. You’re the smartest person I know and so kind and caring too,” she kissed his temple.

“We’re always happy to remind you how poor we are. Want to see the new leak in my ceiling?” Merlin laughed. “I’m serious. It’s huge and it’s never gonna get fixed.” 

“I already told you we’re going to fix it this week, Will,” Freya said.

“With what? Duct tape and confidence?” 

“Merlin,” Gwen tried to reign the conversation back in, “we all love you. We’ll always be there for you. You don’t have to lie to us when we ask how you are or how school is. We want to know. Genuinely. Okay?” Merlin nodded. His friends always knew what he needed to hear even when he didn’t. 

“I really appreciate that. All of it. Thank you guys. But can we talk about something else now? Please?”

“Sure. We can go back to mocking Will if you want. When I got here this morning I heard him singing ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ in the shower.”

“We agreed we wouldn’t mention that!”

“No, you agreed. I never did.”

“I have some good news for you, Freya,” Merlin smirked mischievously. “There’s a whole folder on my phone called ‘Will thinks nobody can hear him singing’.” They all laughed. 

“That is  _ not  _ okay! And I’d be really angry if I didn’t have a folder called ‘Merlin’s drunk ramblings’ colon ‘mostly about how great Gwen and Freya are.’”

“Aww,” the girls cooed. Merlin blushed.

“Is it wrong to have affection for my friends? Let’s go back to your fragile masculinity.”

“I no longer care that you’re gone.”

___________________________________________

  
  


When Tom and Elyan got home Merlin joined them for tea. He helped them cook. It almost felt like the Smiths had never left Ealdor and they were back in their kitchen, bumping into each other while Will impatiently stole food as they cooked and Freya was swatting his hand away. It was strange, after that, to sit down to eat and not see his other two best friends and his mum. 

After they ate, Merlin said his goodbyes. Gwen walked him to the door and made him promise to come over the next weekend. Merlin was more than happy to oblige. 

He walked back to campus quickly. The wind was strong and he could hear it hissing as it swished past houses and stores. Tom had offered to drive him back but Merlin declined. He said he wanted to get some exercise but in all honesty it more had to do with the fact that he was avoiding his room. Leon would almost certainly have his friends in there by now. He repeated to himself that Arthur wasn’t going to be there, a mantra he had been chanting in his head throughout most of the day. 

He hadn’t mentioned the prince to Gwen. He figured she knew and had kept it from him as a joke, but that wasn’t the kind of thing she would do. Plus, if she had, she would have been antsy to talk to him about it when he arrived. Still, it was weird that Tom wouldn’t have ever mentioned it to her. Maybe she did know but was just used to it and it didn’t occur to her to mention. Or maybe it was that Merlin was really stupid to not have known. On Wednesday, he had googled “Camlann Academy” and literally the third link was a news story about Arthur. Merlin could admit that he was a little too oblivious sometimes.

Once he was back in the dorm and in the elevator, he leaned his head against the wall and groaned. He could do this. He didn’t  _ want  _ to do this but he could. He could handle not being a nerd for one evening. Except there was already the TARDIS on his desk…and the little picture frame made of seashells with the picture of him and Freya sticking their tongues out that she had made for him in fourth year…and the dragon carving his father made. Yeah, all right. So maybe not being a nerd wasn’t feasible. But he could still try his best not to be a complete loser. This was probably his one shot at making any friends at school and he really didn’t want to screw it up. 

Mithian was standing outside his door when the elevator opened. Why was she outside  _ his  _ door? Then he heard someone talking from inside with a voice that he recognized. He didn’t recognize it from class though. His first thought upon hearing it was that he recognized it from tele. Fuck. 

He had started to turn around and get back in the elevator when he heard Mithian’s voice. 

“Absolutely not, Emrys,” she ordered. “Get in there.”

“You can’t make me,” he argued petulantly. 

“What are you? Two? Go inside. It’s your room and you’re going to have to meet him sometime.”

“I  _ have _ met him. I humiliated both of us in class and then I headbutted him in the chin.” She laughed. 

“Yeah. That was pretty great. When’s your birthday? I’ll copy the security footage of it onto a dvd and send it to you,” she offered, and Merlin genuinely had no idea if she was kidding, so he scowled instead of responding. “Nice eye, by the way. I heard what happened.”

“I’m not talking about this,” he tried to get past her and into his room. Anything but talking about this again. He hoped the prince wouldn’t mention it. Mithian let him get past her but she wasn’t finished. 

“I’m glad you stood up to Valiant. If he wasn’t a minor and I wouldn’t lose my job, I would have done the same thing years ago.” He scoffed. 

“I didn’t do anything. He beat _me_ up - not the other way around.” She shook her head at him and sighed, as if she was fed up with trying to explain something very simple to a very slow toddler. 

“That doesn’t matter. You didn’t roll over; you stood your ground instead of running away. Don’t get me wrong, it was stupid. You could’ve gotten seriously injured and it wasn’t worth it. But seeing as it’s too late for that, you did good. And I don’t mean that as in ‘you did well.’ I mean you actually did  _ good _ . Valiant isn’t going to stop being an arsehole bully any time soon, but you got under his skin and showed people he’s not invincible. It took you two seconds to say something that he was embarrassed by. I’ve only seen one other person do that and it was in a lot less public of a setting. So be proud of yourself. But never do it again.”

“I…uh…thanks, I think,” Merlin didn’t know how to react. “Boy, uh, you really don’t like Valiant, do you?” She gave him a strained grin. 

“It isn’t all terrorists and fangirls that I deal with.” He laughed. 

“Those really don’t seem equivalent.”

“They’re not but do you know which one I encounter more?” 

“That’s true, I suppose. I kinda figured a lot of people would try and target him.”

“People do,” she nodded, “but these days extremists attack more minorities than anything else.”

“You know more about it than I do but I’m pretty sure it’s always been that way,” Merlin pointed out jokingly. She nodded again. 

“It is but now it’s talked about in the mainstream, which is a good thing. But it also makes the people who hate those minorities feel threatened. People like to pretend that those things don’t happen because it doesn’t fit with their worldview. Almost four percent of Brits think the Holocaust is a hoax and a quarter of Europe thinks Jews have too much influence over world affairs. The number of hate crimes in England and Wales has doubled in the last five years. Almost a third of British adults think Islam is incompatible with British values. Black people are more than three times more likely to be killed than white people. In the last year, there have been almost fifteen thousand hate crimes committed against LGBTQ people reported. And that’s just here. Most people with hate in their hearts hate what is other and society has spent millennia forcing people to be considered as other. So yeah, a surprising amount of people want him dead,” she gestured to the room, “but the point is this: you did good.” Merlin felt like he had whiplash. 

“Wait a minute…that whole thing was about me? Not Arthur?” 

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I didn’t think you’d listen to me much longer otherwise. Yes, of course, I’m more worried about terrorists than about fangirls. Like I said, a surprising amount of people want him dead. Sometimes it’s about the little things though and not an assassination plot. Because the little things affect the big things. Hate doesn’t come out of a vacuum. It takes something to put it there. But it takes more courage to stand up to hate than it does to spread it. You did a little thing but it mattered.”

“Wh-I…you’re infuriating.” She smiled. 

“Thank you.”

“We’ve had two conversations and both times I feel like you’ve said things to me that you  _ definitely  _ weren’t supposed to. I never imagined the Prince of Wales’ bodyguard would talk to someone who’s basically a stranger about a classmate of his she hates.”

“Yeah, but how often did you spend imagining what the Prince of Wales’ bodyguard would talk about?”

“Not that often.”

“There you go.”

“You know a disturbing amount of statistics about bigotry.” Mithian shrugged and smiled again. 

“Part of my job.” 

“It is?”

“Mostly it’s just something I google at three in the morning when I’m angry at the world.” 

“Well,” Merlin said, putting his key in the door. “At least you don’t have to worry about that part.”

“Which part?”

“At least the person you’re protecting is straight white and male,” he turned the key and pushed open the door. “Bye.”

___________________________________________

Merlin entered his room to find five seventeen year old giants sprawled everywhere. That’s how it seemed to Merlin anyway. He tried to rationalize. To be fair to them, they weren’t giants (just incredibly muscular) and it wasn’t everywhere (only Percival and Arthur were sitting on the floor). Arthur. Shit. They all stopped talking when the door opened and looked at him. 

“Merlin!” Gwaine exclaimed. “Come join the party.” He was on Merlin’s bed.  _ Merlin’s  _ bed. Leon must have seen the flustered expression on his face because he suddenly looked very guilty. He closed the door behind him. 

“I tried to get him off,” he said, “but he wouldn’t budge and our resident lifter has too much beer in him to be trusted to hold a human being.” Percival raised his bottle in acknowledgment. 

“It’s fine,” he put his bag down on his desk chair, which apparently neither of the guys sitting on the floor had thought to use. “I thought you said he wasn’t drinking tonight?”

“He’s not drunk,” Lance said, “just an arse.” 

“Cheers, mate. I knew you wouldn’t mind, do you, Merlin?” Merlin shook his head. “See?”

“He’s clearly uncomfortable, Gwaine,” Leon said. 

“No, it’s okay. He can stay there. I don’t mind.” 

“Thanks. Want a beer? You can drink on my behalf.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw an arm reach towards him with the bottle in its hand. He turned. 

“Oh. Thanks,” he said, taking it. 

“No problem.” 

“Merlin,” Gwaine sat up and gestured to his friend on the ground, “you remember Arthur. He’s the blond one? From biology?” He saw the prince roll his eyes. 

“Yeah,” he laughed. “I think I remember him,” he looked at Arthur. “You’re the posh one, yeah?” Lance and Leon laughed. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “And you’re the one who can’t tie his tie, right?” He put his hand out and Merlin reached down to shake it. “Arthur Pendragon.”

“Merlin Emrys. We’ve met.”

“And I have the bruise to prove it,” the prince mocked, smirking. Merlin grimaced. 

“Sorry about that.”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Yeah, from his sister,” Leon teased. Arthur gave him the two finger salute. He looked at Merlin for a second. 

“Are you going to sit or are you going to just stand there like an idiot?” 

“Hey!”

“Ignore him, Merlin. He’s a prick,” Leon told him. Merlin moved to his bed and collapsed next to Gwaine. He pushed himself up against the wall and opened his beer. He had a sip and grimaced for the second time in two minutes. In Merlin’s book, beer was one of the most disgusting drinks in the world. He really only ever enjoyed it if he was already drunk enough not to notice the taste and was just using it to get  _ more  _ drunk. But in that moment Merlin would do just about anything if it meant not having to be sober. 

“How was your friend, Merlin?” 

“Oh,” Merlin started, surprised at being addressed. “Umm, she was good. Fine. It was nice to see her. Do you know if I’m allowed to invite her over? What’s the policy on girls in the dorm?”

“The official policy is no but as long as you at least show you’re making an effort to hide it, you’ll be fine. Perks of being year twelve or thirteen.” 

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to let it slide for the younger boys? I can’t imagine they’re worried about them having sex.” 

“You’d be surprised.”

“Gross. Either way, good to know.”

“Should we be expecting to see a sock on the door sometime soon, Emrys?” Arthur asked and Merlin laughed. 

“Definitely not. She’s not my type.” 

“And what’s your type?”

“Penis-having.” Percival choked on his beer. 

“I see,” Arthur said, taking a swig of his drink. Merlin couldn’t tell if he was uncomfortable because of how he had phrased it or just because he was gay. Leon had told him not to worry but he felt the anxiety creeping back up at that moment. 

Arthur, from where he was leaning against Leon’s bedpost, looked every bit the prince he was. Even with one arm hugging his knees and the other with a drink to his lips, he was regal. 

“Let’s play a game,” Gwaine broke the thick silence. 

“A drinking game? You’re not even drinking.”

“No, my dear Percy, of course not.”

“When the ‘my dear Percy’ comes out you know the evening’s about to take a sharp turn to the left,” Lance commented to no one in particular. 

“Quiet, peasant.” 

“Not this. Anything but this.”

“Leon’s right. I’m vetoing this. I’m using my rights as prefect to veto this.”

“Quiet, I said!”

“Umm…what do you mean by ‘this?’” They all turned to Merlin. 

“We call this game ‘Gwaine’s a Dick and is Going to Rot in Hell,’” Percival said.

“No, we call this game ‘Daddy’s Home.’”

“No.”

“We absolutely do  _ not  _ call it that.”

“Are you trying to scar us all?”

“The rules are simple,” Gwaine told Merlin, who was becoming increasingly concerned about whatever was about to happen. “My name is Uther Pendragon and my son, Arthur,” but instead of Arthur he gestured to the entire room, “needs to take his responsibilities more seriously! That’s why I’m sending him out to do some speeches to boost the monarchy’s reputation.” 

“Oh my god, this is torture,” Lance groaned. He took over. “We all put topics into a hat - it can be basically anything - and then the person whose turn it is has to do their best impression of what Arthur would sound like giving a speech about that. It’s an awful game. The most important rule is that we _ do not _ call it ‘Daddy’s Home.’” Gwaine started bickering with them again. Merlin laughed. This was not what he expected from the Prince of Wales and his friends. 

“I’m in. One hundred percent.” 

“Are you sure? We don’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with,” Leon tried to give him a chance to escape. 

“Oh, I’m sure,” he looked at Arthur. “Don’t you think you could use some outside perspective, your highness?” The prince glared at him. 

“You’re not as innocent as they made you out to be.” Merlin smiled wide. 

“It’s all a part of my charm.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwaine is a loveable arse even when he’s sober and Arthur does NOT think Merlin’s cute, he promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! Quick note about this chapter: there’s a fair of amount of discussion about religion (not a lot of specifics, more of a general approach to understanding them) and I just wanted to say right out of the gate that I won’t tolerate any hatred of any kind in the comments. I know this seems fairly obvious but unfortunately it needs to be said. We should all respect each other’s religious beliefs, including not believing in a religion. I also mention history vs religious belief and I want to make it clear that this is not me saying that anyone is necessarily wrong, simply a way that I have used in my studies to look at beliefs that are different than my own. 
> 
> Okay, I know I said it would be a quick note but apparently I lied. I hope you all enjoy Arthur’s angst.

Arthur was not nearly drunk enough for this. It was just like Gwaine to suggest this game right now - the worst possible moment. Did he not remember that he was being forced to do just this? Make a speech he didn’t want to, to people he didn’t know, and that his father was pushing him to do so? Bloody fucking roommates. Arthur knew that, in his own way, Gwaine was just trying to help. He wasn’t as insensitive as he would have people believe. 

As everyone wrote suggestions on little scraps of paper taken from Leon’s maths binder, Arthur took another drink. Unfortunately, beer was all that was available. He liked to think that despite being a prince, he was a relatively down to earth person and wasn’t snooty about a lot of things; he  _ was  _ snooty about this though. Beer was disgusting and he would never be convinced otherwise. He still drank it, of course - he needed  _ something _ if they were going to be playing this game. 

And with the new kid too. Arthur really had no idea what to think about this Merlin person. He seemed nice enough, but right now Arthur really needed his group of friends to stay as it was. The next couple of months were going to suck and what he absolutely _didn’t_ need was the scholarship kid trying to ride his coattails. Right after thinking it he knew it was unfair. So what if he didn’t have as much money as Arthur did? Few people did. The Uther in his head told him that Merlin would try to take advantage of Arthur to pull himself up, but Merlin didn’t seem like the type of person who cared much for titles or status. This was his second interaction with him ever and he could already tell. 

Most people (even the ones his age) sniveled and groveled around him, especially when they first met. Merlin didn’t. Sure, he was startled in the stairwell but to be fair, it wasn’t every day the Prince of Wales caught you crying. Arthur rubbed his chin subconsciously. And beforehand, when Merlin was reading the texts he got from his friend, it was clear that he wasn’t a big fan of the monarchy. That was fine; Arthur didn’t really care either way. Hell, Gwaine was one of his best mates and  _ he  _ wanted the monarchy abolished. 

And if he did hang around, Arthur wouldn’t have to worry about the whole gay thing. The world would know soon enough anyway so if one gay kid who probably knew what it was like to live in fear knew about it, so what? Or at least that’s what Arthur tried to tell himself. In reality, it  _ would  _ be a big deal. He had no desire to tell this bloke he just met something he had only ever voluntarily told three people. But logically he knew that his friends would never out him. 

Yeah, there were a lot of reasons why Arthur wished Merlin wasn’t around. And it certainly didn’t help that he was cute. 

“Arthur,” Arthur looked over and saw that Lance had been trying to get his attention. “Did you put one in?”

“Hmm?”

“A subject. Did you put one in the hat?” He slid the hat across the floor to Arthur who snorted in a decidedly unprincely manner. Of course they would use the flat cap that Gwaine had forced him to wear one night when they were out because it was, quote, “sexy in a gay way.” 

_ Lance asked, “what does it mean to be sexy in a gay way? Isn’t that just sexy?”  _

_ “No, because guys can wear things that would be sexy on anyone but sexy in a gay way means that even though I’m straight I at least thirty percent want to fuck you.” _

_ “I think that’s borderline homophobic, mate,” said Percival.  _

_ “I’m less concerned about if it’s homophobic or not and more concerned about the fact that Gwaine thirty percent wants to have sex with me.” _

That had been a weird night. Arthur quickly wrote something on his piece of paper and put it in the hat, shoving it back towards Lance. 

“All right,” Leon began, “which sorry sucker is up first?”

“Gwaine. He’s the one who wanted to play.”

“Fine,” Gwaine said, snatching the hat and shuffling his hand around in it before pulling out a strip of paper. “But then you all have to give me a good score; I’m shit at this when I’m not at least a little drunk.”

“You’re shit at this anyway,” Percival grinned when Gwaine gave him the finger. 

“Wait, there are scores?” Merlin asked. “Who judges?” 

“Everyone gives a score out of ten and we average it. But if Arthur is particularly pissy about it we don’t let him judge.”

“I’m not  _ pissy _ , Leon. I give valid criticism.” 

“Yeah whatever. Gwaine? What’s your subject?”

Gwaine shifted his eyes around the room, glaring at everyone and then said, “It says ‘Arthur announcing Gwaine’s engagement to Morgana’ and whoever wrote it is dead to me.”

“I thought you’d like it!” Leon tried to defend himself. 

“Yeah, but not with  _ him  _ here,” Gwaine pointed at Arthur. “I don’t feel like fighting him - even though I’d win easily.” Arthur laughed. 

“You would  _ not _ .”

“We all know it, so just let it go, princess.”

“You absolutely would  _ not  _ win and I know this because I almost always do when we’re fighting over the remote.”

“I _let_ you win! It’s not worth Mithian impaling me if I accidentally kill you.” They all laughed at him. “Whatever. Let’s just start,” he cleared his throat dramatically and smoothed down his shirt, picking at nonexistent lint in a manner that was clearly supposed to be Arthur-like. 

“Good evening, fellow Britonians. It is I, His Royal Highness Prince Arthur Charles William-”

“I don’t talk like that.” 

“Shh!”

“ _ I _ ,” Gwaine started again, “His Royal Highness Prince Arthur Charles William Uther Pendragon, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, AK, KSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Avalon, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Camlann, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland-”

“Jesus Christ,” Arthur could have sworn he heard Merlin whisper into his beer.

“Am excited to royally announce the royal engagement of my very royal sister Her Royal Highness Princess Royal Morgana Vivienne Maria Elizabeth Pendragon, KG, KT, GCVO, GCStJ, KSO, CD, Duchess of Edinburgh, Countess of Pen Rhionydd to Sir Gwaine Frederick Gr-”

“You’re not knighted.”

“Let him have his moment, Arthur,” Lance teased. 

“To  _ Sir  _ Gwaine Frederick Green, Duke of York-”

“You’re also not a duke!”

“I wholeheartedly give them my blessing, as I know I could never ask for a better man for my sister. He is perfect in every way. Sir Gwaine has saved my life on several occasions, with his big muscles and bigger intellect-”

“Oh my god.”

“I don’t think there is nor will there ever be anyone who would be able to satisfy my sister and fulfill his husbandly duties better than-”

“Not cool!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“If you say that again I think Arthur’s going to kick your arse,” Lance pointed out. 

“If you say that again  _ Morgana’s  _ gonna kick your arse,” Leon added. 

“Okay, executive decision. Your turn is over. You’re supposed to sound like Arthur not live in a fantasy world.”

“I thought that  _ did _ sound like him! And you’re a prefect, Lance, not a king; you’re not powerful enough to make executive decisions,” Gwaine complained.

“Well, I am. As the actual prince and therefore your overlord, I declare your turn is over,” Arthur joked and everybody laughed. Gwaine grumbled and sat back down. 

“Who’s up next? Arthur,” Leon said. “What about you?”

“What?” Merlin chuckled. “You impersonate yourself?” Arthur shrugged. 

“It’s the best part of the game, mate,” Gwaine told him. “Nothing beats watching the princess do the princess.”

“So many words in that sentence were chosen poorly.”

“Fuck off, Leon. Arthur? Go.” Arthur sighed and reached into the hat, pulling out a strip. He had to sigh again when he saw what was written on it. 

“‘Arthur announces Crown’s new plan to fight discrimination by asking Parliment to ban minorities so there will be no one to discriminate against.’ Somebody here is feeling a little self righteous tonight, I see.” Percival tipped an imaginary hat to Arthur who rolled his eyes. 

“Wait,” Merlin said and turned to Leon. “I thought you said he was a liberal?” 

“Leon!”

“What?” He defended. “It’s not like he wasn’t going to hear you speak anyway. Spending more than five minutes with you is like being at a Labour conference.”

“More like if the Labor party fucked the Liberal Democrat party and then had a baby party. He’d be at the baby party’s conference.” 

“Thanks for that vivid imagery, Gwaine,” Lance said sarcastically. “So basically you’re saying he’s somewhere in between Labour and Liberal Democrat?”

“No. Maybe. Who the hell knows what he is? He’s Arthur.” 

“All right! Enough already. I get it, I’m liberal. Let’s tell the whole world, shall we?” He turned his attention to Merlin. “Yeah, I am liberal but it would be my father making those choices anyway. And not really then, even, because he doesn’t have any political power.” His friends all rolled their eyes at him and made noises of disbelief. 

In fairness, his father did have a decent amount of political influence but power and influence were two very different things. One of them is put into a constitution and one of them is gained by knowing how to play the game of politics. Although his mates and Morgana would all argue that Uther only had the opportunity to play those political games because of his position as king. Which, yeah, all right, fair cop. 

“Whatever. It would be my father and not me, Merlin. As of now the Crown’s positions have nothing to do with me.”

“Yeah,” said Gwaine, “Uther’s a liberal too though.”

“Gwaine! You can’t go around telling people about my father’s politics.”

“What? It’s Merlin!” 

“Wait, seriously? Uther Pendragon is liberal? Are we talking about the same Uther Pendragon? The one who, just last year, was overheard referring to a twenty year old man with long hair as a hippy? That Uther Pendragon?”

“Absolutely,” Gwaine laughed. “But he’s more socially liberal than economically. He’s pretty conservative economically.”

“Gwaine!”

“I’ve always found that to be pretty oxymoronic,” Merlin ignored Arthur. He took another swig of his beer. “Being socially one way and fiscally another, I mean. How can someone claim to want equal rights for all and then say ‘fuck the poor’ when it comes to welfare.” It was probably the third beer of the night talking, but Arthur couldn’t stop himself from thinking the way Merlin said “fuck” was incredibly hot. Especially because he agreed with everything Merlin was saying. 

“I don’t know, mate,” Lance jumped in. “But Uther Pendragon seems to.”

“Can we maybe stop talking about the politics of my father?  _ Your  _ king?” Arthur was ignored again. 

“So he’s basically a Brexiter but less xenophobic?”

“No,” Arthur shook his head. If Merlin was going to hear about this anyway then the information he was getting should at least be accurate. “He might be fiscally conservative but he’s not an idiot. He knows the value of the EU.”

“So a member of the Labour party but slightly  _ more _ xenophobic?” 

“That’s more like it,” Gwaine proclaimed. 

“No, Gwaine. He’s not at all xenophobic, Merlin” He sighed. “Do you by any chance know anything about American politics?” Merlin shrugged.

“A little.”

“I guess you could say he’s a right-leaning moderate or a liberal Republican. Except move everything about a hundred kilometres to the left because for some reason that is completely indiscernible to me, America is the only country of its kind to seemingly be permanently stuck in the times of Joseph McCartney and the Red Scare.”

“Liberal Republican? Do those exist anymore?”

“I just mean he’s not like the Tea Party.”

“It’s more like…I don’t know,” Leon said. “It’s more like he doesn’t care if you wear a burka he just doesn’t want to pay for you to go to the dentist.”

“For the record,” Arthur tried to clarify, “My father strongly supports the NHS,  _ Leon _ .”

“Okay, fine,” Gwaine huffed. “He doesn’t care if you wear a burka, he just doesn’t want to pay for your uni. Better, Princess?”

“Much,” Arthur finished off the last of his beer. Merlin looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to start. “Yes, Merlin? Something you want to share with the class?” Merlin blushed. It was not at  _ all _ adorable. 

“So why don’t you and your father stand up and say that?”

“Say what, exactly?”

“Say that you don’t support the xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, antisemitic, Muslim hating, racist, fascist horseshit coming from our leaders’ mouths? If the king doesn’t think Muslims are evil or gay people are going to hell why doesn’t he say it?”

Arthur’s friends looked at each other uncomfortably before looking at  _ him  _ uncomfortably. What was he supposed to tell Merlin? His usual line about staying out of political issues? Because that was not going to be entirely true anymore come December. Luckily, he was saved from having to respond by Merlin speaking again. 

“Look, I get that you’re supposed to be impartial or something but you have a chance to do something about the issues of the world - genuine issues that impact the lives of millions of people, both at home and abroad.” 

He wasn’t wrong, of course, but it was definitely not something Arthur wanted to get into at that moment. Leon and Lance clearly sensed this and made a show of pulling everyone back into the game. They played for a while longer but called it a night before Arthur had a chance to see Merlin’s impression of him. He wasn’t super disappointed though; he had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time they hung out with each other. 

___________________________________________

On Sunday morning, Arthur woke up with only a tiny headache and a disgusting taste in his mouth. It probably wasn’t a great sign that he was becoming so tolerant to alcohol but right now, Arthur was just grateful to not have much of a hangover. His phone told him it was already half nine, and he rushed about getting dressed. Gwaine, of course, was still sound asleep. 

The night before had been great. Despite his entire week being utter shite, Arthur felt himself relax around his friends. Even with Merlin there he felt like he could be himself. Usually, if there was someone else with him and his mates, he was in prince mode and all he could think about was making a good impression; he didn’t feel that way with Merlin around. He could see himself coming to truly care for him. Unfortunately, that also meant he hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he woke up. 

Arthur did work that was due in several different classes the following morning for about an hour, trying to distract himself, before he gave up and threw a pillow at Gwaine. When that inevitably did nothing, he took the abeng (gifted to him on a visit to Jamaica by the governor-general and his wife) he kept under his bed (Morgana said this was a completely inappropriate place for it and Arthur - who had been fourteen at the time - said  _ “shut up, Morgana” _ ) and blew it into Gwaine’s ear. 

“Jesus fuck!” Gwaine startled and rolled off his bed, hitting the floor with a thud. “The fuck’s the matter with you, you arse?” 

“I do this most days,” Arthur laughed. “How are you still surprised?”

“It’s pretty bloody surprising to wake up to that!”

“Well either get up by yourself or wake up when I throw my pillow at you.” There was a knock at the door. 

“I’m assuming you’re both up,” came Mithian’s voice. “Are you going to eat or are you staying here?” 

“We’re eating. Give us five minutes, all right, love?” Arthur glared at his roommate. 

“Sure. And call me love one more time and I’ll mysteriously find a gram of coke in your rucksack next time you're at Buckingham. Oh,” Mithian paused for a moment and they heard another voice before she spoke again. “You have a visitor.” 

“Who?”

“It’s me,” Merlin said. “Merlin, that is.” Arthur looked at his roommate questioningly and Gwaine shrugged, still splayed out on the floor. 

“Come in, Merlin.” 

“Hi,” Merlin closed the door behind him. He was still in his pajamas and his hair was a mess. It looked like he had just woken up and Arthur couldn’t decide if it made him cute or just plain hot. He needed to stop thinking those things.  _ Now _ . 

“Hey, mate,” Gwaine,  _ still  _ on the floor, greeted. “What’s going on?”

“I didn’t mean to disturb you guys. I heard a weird noise and a crash from across the hall so I thought l’d come make sure one of you hadn’t killed the other.”

“Nah, Arthur’s just a prick.”

“What do you-” Merlin saw what Arthur was holding. “Is that a shofar?”

“A what?”

“It’s a Jewish - never mind. What is that?” 

“An instrument that was given to me in Jamaica. I use it to wake Gwaine when he’s being a lie about,” He offered his hand and helped him up.

“What’s that other thing you said?” Gwaine asked. “The thing that sounded like chauffeur.”

“Shofar,” Merlin was clearly trying not to laugh at him. “It’s a ram’s horn that’s used during the Jewish High Holidays.”

“You’re Jewish?” Merlin shook his head. 

“No. My friend Freya is though,” he told them. “Anyway, I didn’t want to bother you. See you later?” 

“Actually, Merlin,” Arthur broached, “Would you like to join us for breakfast?” 

“I’d love to! I’m just going to throw some clothes on and I’ll meet you in the hallway.” Merlin was beaming and Arthur felt his face heat up. He didn’t know what it was but he couldn’t stop thinking about how attractive Merlin was. He wasn’t even Arthur’s type! All right, to be fair, Arthur wasn’t sure what his type was; he just liked the people he liked. Gwaine would call him ‘easy’ (the hypocrite) whenever they talked about this but it was true. Arthur was attracted to personalities and Merlin had a great one. Yes he was clumsy, idiotic, annoying, too loud, and sassy but he was also sweet, kind, witty, boisterous, and (from what Arthur could tell based on the very short time they had known each other) bloody brilliant. Gwaine broke him out of his reverie. 

“Oi! I’m talking to you!”

“Sorry,” Arthur shook the thoughts out of his head. “What did you say?”

“I  _ said _ , you seem very eager to see him again.”

“I thought you guys liked him.”

“We do,” Gwaine reassured him. “Just curious. You’re usually not so quick to make friends.”

“I’m just trying to be polite. Something you’re always saying I’m not. Besides, he doesn’t seem to have friends outside of you guys and that Gwen girl, so-”

“You remembered her name?” It was an innocuous question but Gwaine had a mischievous look on his face and Arthur didn’t like it one bit. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” he smiled. “Are you ready to go?”

“No, tell me what you’re smirking about,” he demanded. 

“I’m smirking about breakfast.”

“You’re lying.”

“You’re so smart, your highness. I’ll be proud to call you my king one day.” Gwaine opened the door and Arthur shoved him gently out into the hallway. 

“Fuck off.” 

  
  


___________________________________________  
  


“I don’t understand, how can you be Welsh?”

“I live in Wales. I was _born_ in Wales.”

“You sound English.” 

“Don’t remind me.”

“Ouch,” Arthur teased. “So what is it? Why don’t you sound Welsh?” 

They’d been talking to Merlin for about an hour now, even though Leon said they were  _ “practically interrogating him,” _ he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Arthur was happy to note that Merlin seemed entirely content (maybe even joyous) when they were asking him about himself. He doubted it was an ego thing though. Had no one else at Camlann asked him about his life before? He knew they were the only people Merlin had spent time with (Merlin himself said so) but had he not even  _ talked  _ to other people? Or more importantly, had other people not talked to him? Arthur gave his attention back to Merlin when he sighed jokingly and put his utensils down, pretending to be exasperated. 

“Mum and Uncle Gaius are English and my best friend moved from London to Ealdor when he was four. Those were really the only three people I spoke to for the first eight years of my life.”

“You didn’t speak in school?”

“I was homeschooled until then. Uncle Gaius taught me.” 

“Wow. Is that why you have no social skills?” 

“Arthur!” Lance looked scandalized. “Can you be nice, please? I promise he didn’t mean it, Merlin.” The boy in question just laughed and waved him off. 

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. Especially because it’s his royal pratness that’s accusing  _ me  _ of living a sheltered life,” Merlin grinned as he said this and Gwaine looked at him as if he had found his soulmate. Moving on, Arthur briefly looked down at the notebook in front of him. 

“Do any of you know when Ms. Gershwin’s office hours are this week? If I don’t figure this out soon I’m going to fail this exam.” Lance took a piece of paper out of his binder and handed it to him wordlessly. A schedule. “Thanks, mate.”

“What does she teach again?” 

“World religions. I can’t wrap my head around some of it,” He told Merlin, who just stared blankly at him. “What?”

“You’re the future head of the Church of England and you can’t wrap your head around religion?” Merlin was incredulous. Arthur could tell he was just teasing but he still felt self conscious. He never admitted to anyone outside of his best friends and Morgana if he needed help with something (his instructors too but that hardly counted) but he temporarily forgot Merlin wasn’t one of his best friends and now he felt ashamed. He knew, logically, that it was stupid and that everybody needed help with one thing or another. He did have a point though. Arthur just rolled his eyes. 

“Not all religions,  _ idiot _ . I understand  _ mine _ .”

“Fine. Then what don’t you get?” 

“What, you’re going to tutor me?” 

“If you want,” Merlin shrugged. “I have nothing better to do.”

“Have you even  _ looked  _ at your homework for this weekend yet?” Leon teased. 

“It’s done. I got it all done Friday just in case some schmuck needed my help.”

“Schmuck? Really?” Arthur raised an eyebrow. Merlin smiled back at him impishly and he stopped himself from blushing with pure willpower. 

“Judaism 101, your highness.” He couldn’t hold back a small but embarrassing snort. Gwaine waggled his eyebrows suggestively at him when Merlin was putting the books he had back in his bag. 

“Fuck off,” Arthur whispered and the rest of his friends pretended not to notice. He tried to ignore them and focus. “We’re not doing Judaism right now.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“Islam.”

“And which part or parts don’t you understand?” 

“All of it?” Merlin swiveled and gave him an incredulous look as if to say  _ “really?”  _

“We’re going to the library,” Lance announced. “I’m assuming you guys are headed back to the rooms?” 

“Yeah, that’s probably best. I wouldn’t be able to tell him he’s a prat as many times as I’m going to need there. Don’t want to disturb anyone.” 

Merlin continued to question Arthur about his confusion on the walk back. It was cold and gross out. The air smelled the way it always did when it had just rained. He knew there was some fancy word for it that Leon taught him but he couldn’t remember what it was. The cold combined with the mist made it pretty much miserable. On the other hand, it was hard to be miserable with the idiot next to him blathering on. 

“Are you confused as to the practice or the history of it?”

“Both? I guess? I don’t know. The history makes sense to me factually.”

“But…?”

“But if you don’t believe in particular religion how are you supposed to discern between what’s historical and what isn’t.”

“You’re not a Muslim.”

“Excellent observation, considering, as you pointed out, my family heads the Church of England.”

“Shut up. You’re not a Muslim but you have a religion.”

“What’s your point?”

“You can’t be objective. If you have a religion you can’t analyze other religions objectively because you inherently think they’re wrong. Not morally, I mean. Just factually.”

“Right. So basically I should give up?” Arthur knew he sounded distraught and Merlin laughed. 

“No! You just have to accept that it isn’t all always going to make sense to you. Focus on the things you  _ do  _ know. Most people agree that Jesus existed because there’s a historical basis, right? Jews, atheists, Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, Janists, and so on and so forth. In Christianity, Islam, Rastafarianism, Baháʼí Faith, and probably some others that I don’t know, it’s believed that Jesus, in some way or another, is connected to God, be it as a prophet or as the actual human form of God.” 

“Okay? I’m not sure I’m following. What’s your point?” 

“My  _ point _ ,” Merlin huffed, looking annoyed at Arthur’s continued impatience, “Is that there are things that are agreed to be fact. If you really need those, then look for them in whatever religion you’re studying. Trust me, there’s stuff there. I’m not a Buddhist but I know the Buddha existed.” Galahad, one of Arthur’s bodyguards who had been walking ahead of them, held the door open as they entered the building. “Oh. Thanks,” Merlin said and Arthur smiled to himself. 

“Want anything?” He asked once they were in the room. “There’s…actually I don’t know what there is. Gwaine eats all of my food when I leave.” 

“That’s okay,” Merlin chuckled. “I’m still full.”

“So,” Arthur said as he sat on his desk chair, Merlin in Gwaine’s.

“So.”

“What’s with the ridiculous amount of knowledge on religion?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” He was blushing. “It’s just interesting to me, I guess.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Religious?”

“No, not really.” 

“Not really? As in you don’t go to church that often? Or you’ve renounced all possible gods and turned toward Satan?” Arthur made a mental note to stop trying to make Merlin laugh. He always did and it was always distracting. 

“Church? Why are you assuming I’m a Christian?”

“Oh. Sorry. That was rude of me; I didn’t mean to imply that-”

“Arthur! It’s okay. I’m messing with you. My mum is and I went to church with her sometimes when I was younger but it…it just wasn’t for me. She still goes occasionally but I’m pretty much an atheist.”

“Pretty much?” 

Merlin shrugged, “Pretty much. I’m not going to claim to know all the secrets of the universe or whatever but agnostic has a Christian connotation in our society and I don’t know that I believe in Christianity more than any other religion. Just…maybe there’s a higher power and maybe there’s not. It doesn’t really matter to me.”

“It doesn’t?” Arthur quirked an eyebrow. “Then why are you fascinated by religion?”

“Because it matters to other people and I like other people,” Merlin stated firmly. Arthur almost actually squeaked like a twelve year old girl. “If I can’t understand at least the basics of my friends’ religious beliefs, then if their beliefs are important to them I’ll know a lot less about them. I want to learn about them because I care about them and this is part of that for me. Plus, you can’t say a religion is evil if you know nothing about it.”

“Plenty of people do.”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. Arseholes should pick up a book every once in a while instead of yelling at people about something that doesn’t affect them. Okay, so,” Merlin slapped his palms onto his thighs, shaking Arthur out of his infatuated gaze that he hopefully hadn’t noticed. “Let’s get started.”

“Started? We haven’t started yet?”

“Nope! Come on, let’s talk about hadiths.”

“There’s something about you, Merlin,” Arthur said and Merlin looked up from the pile of papers he was shuffling through. This was ridiculous. Arthur had known him for two days. Technically five but not really. Two fucking days. Actually, less than twenty-four hours. 

It was probably infatuation. It wasn’t every day Arthur met another gay guy his age who was open about it; he was bound to develop some sort of crush on him but it would pass. But no. Arthur thought Merlin was cute before he knew he was gay. 

It didn’t matter. He couldn’t do anything about it either way. There was no way for Arthur to be with someone. At least, not yet. He was being stupid. He was only seventeen. But seventeen and seventeen and lonely were two different things. Maybe that wasn’t a healthy attitude. To justify wanting a relationship by saying someone else can fix your loneliness? Yeah, all right, that was definitely unhealthy. Even if it was healthy or okay or Merlin thought he was cute or they fell madly in love, it didn’t matter. Nothing could happen. Not after what Morgause sent him. 

“I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is relatively short and that it took so long. Hopefully the next one will be up a lot more quickly than this one was! Be well!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin adjusts to being friends with royalty and Arthur‘s friends are protective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur’s views (as well as Leon’s) about football teams are his own. I know almost nothing about football, so apologies. Characters’ views about other things are also their own and do not necessarily reflect my own.

Merlin was very happy to note that one of the other boys on his floor made a point to ask him to sit with them for each of the three meals following breakfast on Sunday morning. Now, at Monday morning breakfast, he was only slightly regretting accepting their offer. 

As it turned out, even people who had gone to school with him for several years wanted the Prince of Wales’ attention. Merlin hadn’t noticed yesterday because mealtimes weren’t structured during the weekend so the dining hall had been less full. But at breakfast, people seemed to have a constant stream of questions they just  _ had  _ to ask Arthur right away. 

Arthur seemed to take it in stride. In fact, all of his new friends seemed used to it. It was clear that none of them were particularly happy about it, but they had obviously developed a certain tolerance to it over the years and knew that it was necessary for Arthur to be polite. Occasionally, someone would come over and everyone would relax a little; that was how Merlin could tell the people his new friends genuinely liked to the ones they didn’t or were apathetic to. 

“Does this always happen?” Merlin asked when there was a lull in the barrage of people. 

“No, not always,” Leon answered. 

“Yeah, sometimes Arthur isn’t here.” Lance smacked Gwaine on the back of his head playfully. 

“It just seems like…a lot,” Merlin tried to explain.

“It can be,” Arthur said. “We’re used to it though. One of the downsides of being friends with me.” Merlin saw the other guys look at each other in concern while Arthur stared pointedly at his food, stabbing it aggressively with a fork. Merlin noticed that they seemed to have these wordless conversations a lot more than most groups he knew.

“Nah, it’s not that bad,” Gwaine did a decent job of sounding peppy. “Besides, can’t remember the last time I paid for my own dinner.” Arthur chuckled halfheartedly. 

“Yeah. And we never have to wait on long queues at airports,” Lance added. “I’d say it balances itself out.”

“And  _ someone’s  _ got to be Gwaine’s roommate,” Percival added. That got a more genuine chuckle out of the prince. 

“Oi! I’m a delight to be around, thanks very much.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you were your roommate. I don’t know how Arthur survives your snoring.”

“Headphones and years of practice,” Arthur said, standing and picking up his tray. “I should go. If I get to class early maybe I can avoid the litany of comments people would make about my absences in the corridor. See you guys later?”

“Yeah, mate. Text me if-” Arthur cut Leon off.

“Yeah. Thanks.” 

Merlin waited until Arthur had put his tray back and was out of the room before asking, “Is he all right?”

“He’s fine. Just doesn’t like to be reminded he isn’t normal,” Gwaine said it in a way that made Merlin think he was a little miffed at him. 

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“That’s all right, mate,” Lance reassured him. “Everyone feels weird about it at first.”

“Some of us still do,” Percival said.

“Yeah. Honestly, we all still do. Except maybe Leon, because he’s been around it forever.”

“It’s still…I’m not sure how to describe it. It isn’t weird in that it’s just how life is but it’s weird in that it’s not how life is for everyone else, if that makes sense,” Leon explained. “And Arthur’s a pretty private guy, ironically.”

“Really? He seems kinda…open,” Merlin said.

“He seems that way,” Leon nodded. He didn’t say anything else and Merlin didn’t press.

“Want to get going, Merlin?” Lance suggested. He groaned. 

“Don’t make me. I’d rather kiss Valiant than go to econ.” They all laughed at him. “I’m serious.”

“I know,” Lance handed him his bag as he stood, “But you’re good at it.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” He grumbled. 

  
___________________________________________

  
Merlin hurried out of econ as soon as he could. Luckily, he had aced the exam from last week but it didn’t make him feel any better. Lance patted him on the shoulder as they parted ways. 

When he got to gov, he was unsurprised to see Arthur occupying the seat next to Gwaine that had been his last week. It was fair, considering he always sat there and had no way of knowing Merlin had sat there during his absence, but it still left Merlin without a seat. Percival was right behind them and waved him over. 

Sitting, Merlin asked, “Wasn’t there someone sitting next to you last class?” He put his bag down and took out his books. 

“Yeah, but when he’s here,” He tilted his chin up towards Arthur, “People generally leave it open.”

“Really?” He thought people here liked Arthur considering they were all fighting for his attention about an hour ago. 

“People don’t want to make it look like they’re trying to get closer to him.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I guess,” Percival shrugged. “Although it’s happened before.”

“Christ. The politics of this place is insane. In Ealdor, the only reasons people didn’t sit somewhere were that they hated each other or one owed the other money.” Percival laughed. 

“Who owes who money?” Gwaine turned around and asked. Arthur shifted too. 

“Nobody,” Merlin laughed. 

“All right. But if you’d like to owe someone money, I won’t complain,” He teased and Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“You have more than enough money, Gwaine.”

“Oi! You’re one to talk! You have more money than you know what to do with.”

“Well I know _not_ to spend it on ways to purposefully make my father mad,” Arthur said. “The next time I have to get on the phone and say, ‘I’m sorry to bother you, your grace, but your son is in hospital because he hit his head falling off the giant inflatable water slide he rented’ is the last I ever bring you any alcohol.” Percival laughed at Gwaine’s distraught look. 

“Hey! People loved us for that slide and even the prefects joined in once they got done yelling at us,” Gwaine defended. 

“Yes, well, I don’t think the headmaster appreciated it quite as much.”

“Wait, hang on,” Merlin told Arthur. “‘Your grace?’ I thought you said he wasn’t a duke!”

“He’s not, his father is.”

“He likes to pretend he isn’t, though. Isn’t that right, Duke Gwaine?” Percival teased. 

“I’m not a duke! Stop telling people that.” 

“Apologies, my lord, the Earl of Ulster.”

“Oh, fuck off, Percy.” 

“Wait…”

“You do an awful lot of waiting, Emrys,” Arthur grinned at him. He flushed slightly. 

“Earl of Ulster is a courtesy title for the first son of the Duke of…what is it? Gloucester?”

“Yeah. How do you know that?”

“My mum is obsessed with this stuff,” Merlin answered Gwaine. “But if your father is the…that would make you guys…” He gestured vaguely between Gwaine and Arthur as he trailed off. The prince smiled at him. 

“Third cousins once removed. His grandfather and my father shared a great-grandparent. I know,” He said when he saw the look on Merlin’s face, “I have to be related to him,” Arthur clapped Gwaine on the shoulder in emphasis, “But we all have our crosses to bear.”

“Shut up. You know you love me.” 

“That’s just…why didn’t you tell me you were cousins?”

“It never came up. Besides, we’re distant cousins. I don’t know that we’d ever met until we got to Camlann. You’d think someone would have told us. We probably shook hands a few times at some formal thing, but Gwaine usually skives off anyway.” 

“In my defense, they’re boring as hell. And yeah, mate, it took us a week to figure it out in the first place because  _ someone  _ neglected to mention he was nobility.”

“What are you talking about? It was you!” Arthur looked like he was about to rip his hair out. 

“I never said it wasn’t,” Gwaine winked at Merlin, who laughed. 

“But the joke you made! About the princess,” He squeaked. 

“Leon only put that topic in because it’s an ongoing thing to say Arthur is the product of insest,” Percival explained. 

“Which I’m  _ not _ .”

“Which you definitely are. But not for a couple of centuries now, if It makes you feel better.”

“Sod off.” 

“Seriously, is there  _ anyone  _ at this school who isn’t royalty?”

“ _ Gwaine  _ isn’t royalty,” Arthur said. 

“Oi! Twenty-eighth in line to the throne, I think you’ll find. That must count for something.”

“All right, then. If at least nineteen of them suddenly die at the same time I’ll call you royalty.” 

“Odds are you wouldn’t be calling me anything if that happened,” Gwaine mumbled. 

“Is that a threat? Galahad’s right outside the door; I’d be more than happy to tell him,” Arthur said and his cousin gave him two fingers. 

“I’m not nobility, Merlin,” Percival assured him, “Neither is Lance.” That only served to confuse Merlin more. 

“Are you telling me that Leon -  _ my roommate  _ \-  _ is _ ? Please don’t tell me,” He groaned, dropping his head onto his desk. His friends all laughed at him.

“His mother is a baroness. She has a job though so it’s not anything to fret over,” He clarified. Merlin lifted up his head and stared at him blankly. 

“Oh, right, she has a  _ job _ . How proletariat.” Merlin liked his new friends a lot - and when did he start thinking of them as his friends? - but it wasn’t easy to forget that they lived completely different lives. He never thought he would have a friend that thought the definition of being working class was to literally just be  _ working _ . What a prick. What a stupid, selfish, entitled, handsome, cabbage-headed prick.

“Don’t listen to Arthur, he’s a posh twat,” Gwaine said. At least it was only Arthur who was that blind. “I swear to god, he saw an electric bill once and he didn’t know what ‘past due’ meant.” Merlin couldn’t tell whether or not Gwaine was joking but he chuckled all the same. 

“How about don’t listen to Gwaine? He’s a git.” 

“How about I listen to Percival? He’s neither of those things.”

“How about you listen to me? Gwaine always knows best.” 

“How about I-”

“How about you listen to me, Mr. Emrys? Or is that too much to ask?” It was Mr. Peters. The whole class was watching him. Fuck. “Please pay attention. Class has begun.”

“Yes, sir.” What an arse. They were all talking! Of course he only picked on Merlin. Of course he wouldn’t pick on the Prince of Wales or his earl cousin. Of course he wouldn’t pick on their close friend. Why would he? Besides, lots of people thought Merlin was a fun punching bag (both literally and figuratively). 

He had thought about saying something obnoxious (the class bell had rung about three seconds beforehand so it wasn’t like he had been interrupting) but knew it was a bad idea. Merlin had made a pact with himself to stay under the radar for a little while. He was worried that after two major incidents in his first week (even if one was hardly his doing) it was likely that he was already on thin ice and he desperately needed to keep his scholarship and stay at Camlann Academy. 

Merlin missed Ealdor, sure, but these past few days had been a lot better. And even if they hadn’t been, Camlann was the best option if he wanted to make something of himself - if he wanted to be able to provide for his mother. Unfortunately, that also meant he had to figure out some way to make money. Gwen was still confident he would get the job and told him to “relax, Merlin. It’s been two days!” but that was hardly reassuring. It was easy for Gwen to pretend that she was confident over text, but Will told him she hadn’t sounded so sure when she had rung him. 

He needed to figure it out. And fast. 

___________________________________________

Merlin entered the dining hall and found Leon and Arthur in what looked like a heated debate about football. Percival was the only other one there yet and he just shook his head and rolled his eyes at them when Merlin looked at him with concern. Apparently this was something that happened a lot. Merlin never cared much for sport. He tried to (mostly because he didn’t want to be a stereotype) but gave up the third time Freya kicked his arse at tennis - the sixth sport they had tried. She and Will liked football though, as did Gwen and her family, so sometimes he watched it (sat on his mobile or with a book while  _ they  _ watched it). 

“Are you joking? They’re rubbish this season, mate,” Leon said regarding…something or other. 

“They’re going to do much better than Bournemouth, I’d imagine.”

“ _ Everybody’s  _ going to do better than Bournemouth, Arthur. Don’t mock Lance’s team. He can’t help where he lives.”

“He can help who he  _ roots  _ for. Point is, Chelsea’s won more than half their games so far. How many has Man won? One, that’s right.”

“We still have less losses. And better players. You got a lucky start but we’re coming back.” 

“If that helps you sleep better,” Arthur said. 

“You’re a Chelsea fan, Arthur?” Merlin asked him. 

“Yeah, why? Do you follow football?” He looked very excited and Merlin did not think it was adorable in any way shape or form. 

“Nah. I’m just confused because shouldn’t the Prince of Wales follow a Welsh team?” As he said it, Gwaine and Lance were sitting down and Gwaine made an obnoxious “ooo” noise. 

“I would if they didn’t all suck.”

“Ooooooo.”

“Shut up, Gwaine. Hate to say it, Merlin, but our country’s teams aren’t moving to the Premier League anytime soon.”

“ _ Our  _ country? It’s  _ my  _ country. You don’t even live there! You’re the prince of it because you were born!” Merlin knew Arthur was just teasing him but he couldn’t stop himself from getting riled up. He’d overheard American tourists saying they were in England when they were in Wales too many times to let this go. “You don't even  _ speak  _ Welsh!” 

“I’m learning,” Arthur replied meekly. 

“Oh, you’re learning!” Merlin stood up. “My mistake, your royal pratness. You’re learning it! Learning the language of the country you’re said to be sovereign of.”

“Not even all Welsh people speak Welsh anymore. And you don’t even have the accent,” Leon tried to defend his best mate. 

“So?”

“Maybe it would be easier if everyone just started only speaking English,” Percival commented. “Almost nobody only speaks Welsh anyway so why not get rid of it?” Gwaine nodded. Merlin couldn’t believe his ears. What was wrong with these people?

“That’s a good point, Percival,” Arthur said. “If they really needed it then they wouldn’t have started speaking English in the first place. Why would they have?” 

“Maybe because you took us over!”

“Merlin…are you actually blaming me for something that happened in the thirteenth century?” 

“No,” Merlin sighed and collapsed back down to the table. “Sorry. I’m not anti-English or whatever. You were just pissing me off.” He looked up and they were all smirking. “Oh my god. Were you just taking the piss out of me this whole time?” They all laughed. 

“Sorry, mate,” Gwaine said, “Just couldn’t resist.” 

“Did you actually think we were that awful?” Leon looked genuinely concerned. 

“No! I don’t know. Heat of the moment,” He said. “You’re all tossers. Except Lance.” Lance smiled triumphantly. 

“Merlin, I wasn’t being genuine. Although I was right that no Welsh teams are going to the Premier League anytime soon. I’d be happy if they did though. All right,” He stood and clapped Merlin on the shoulder. Why did they all do that so much? It was charming, in a weird way. Nice, even. “I have to go.” 

“You just got here, mate,” Lance said. “Why don’t you stay a few more minutes?”

“I can’t,” Arthur shook his head. “I promised my father I would ring him.”

“Tell him to send me some of that whiskey of his. I ran out of what I swiped last time,” Gwaine said. Arthur ignored him, said goodbye, and left. 

“That’s weird,” Merlin said. “Thinking about him just casually going to phone the bloody king. I’m assuming it’s just one of those things you get used to, right?”

“Not really,” Leon told him. “They don’t speak on the phone often. If he needs Arthur he usually calls him back to London.” No one else seemed to find that odd but it made Merlin frown. The idea that Arthur’s father didn’t speak to him when he didn’t need to was upsetting. Arthur deserved a father who phoned just because he missed him. But maybe he misunderstood and was reading into things too much. Still, he wished Arthur had that. 

___________________________________________

Leon and Merlin were in the same class for the last one of the day and so walked back to their room together. Leon seemed a little tense. 

“Is everything all right?” Merlin asked him. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. Listen, Merlin…” Uh oh. That wasn’t good. 

“Yeah?” He tried to swallow the big lump that had suddenly developed in his throat. 

“About before…I just wanted you to know that…” Normally he didn’t mind how Leon stopped and started sentences all the time but right now he was too nervous not to find it annoying, even if he knew it was judgemental and wrong. “I just wanted you to know that Arthur cares a lot about being the Prince of Wales. He knows how some people feel about it - the entitled English boy who’s never once lived in Wales being its prince - and he tries to be sensitive to it. He can’t show bias publicly but behind closed doors he champions a lot of Welsh projects and programs to the MPs he has the ear of. He might not have any power legally speaking but he certainly uses his standing and influence for good. And he  _ is  _ learning Welsh. His accent’s atrocious but he’s working on it and he’s had a tutor for almost three years now.”

“Leon…” Merlin hadn’t meant to make Arthur upset. His intention wasn’t to berate him for being who he was, just to respond to the ribbing they were giving him. “I didn’t mean to make him feel bad. I was just responding.”

“No, I know that and I’m not mad. I just wanted you to know because I know he’d be devastated if he thought you resented him for it.”

“I don't! I promise I don’t. But don’t you think it’s a little dramatic to be so worried about what one Welsh guy thinks about it?” He asked. Leon smiled sadly, almost pityingly, as if he knew something Merlin didn’t, but he didn’t answer the question. 

“Come on; I think it’s going to rain. And don’t tell him we spoke about this, okay?” He nodded. 

_ These people are weird _ , Merlin thought, running to catch up to Leon.  _ And I love it _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana is the worst (but really the best), people are annoying, Arthur’s face is going to be on money someday, and Merlin is owed an apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and I’m not happy with it at all, but it’s here and it’s yours.

_“Arthur._ ”

“Hello Father. How are you?”

“ _ I’m fine. Are you getting all your work done efficiently? Are you spending time revising?” _

“Yes, sir.”

_ “Good, good. I’ve spoken with Sophia about what you told me,” _ Uther said. Arthur waited anxiously for whatever came next but his father didn’t speak again. 

“And?” Normally he would have been hesitant to be impatient with him, but this was unbearable. 

_ “And…we’re going to figure it out.” _

__ “No we’re not,” Arthur sighed. “There’s nothing to do for it.” 

_ “We have almost a week.” _

__ “You and I both know that isn’t a lot of time,” He pointed out. 

_ “It may be…difficult,”  _ Uther said. Arthur huffed in what was almost a laugh.  _ “But if you must know, we might have something we can trade.”  _

__ “Trade? Trade what?” This was news to him. 

_ “Morgana-” _

__ “No! Absolutely not. I’m sorry, sir, but no. I’m not trading for my sister’s privacy,” Arthur insisted. 

_ “It was her idea, Arthur.” _

__ “I’m sure it was. Nevertheless, I refuse.”

_ “That’s not your decision,”  _ Uther was clearly becoming agitated. 

“If you do it then I’ll release the picture myself.”

_ “Arthur! How dare you? People are trying to help you and you’re throwing it out the window!” _

__ “People finding out I’m gay two months early isn’t as big a deal as  _ that _ . They’re not ever going to know that.”

_ “Your job as a prince is to protect-” _

__ “My job as a brother is to protect my sister! Not that she needs protecting.”

_ “And hers as a sister is to protect you,”  _ Uther was rarely so tolerant of Arthur talking back or interrupting, but he still sounded angry. They went back and forth for a few minutes, arguing. In the end, Arthur took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. 

“Please, Father. Don’t do this. Don’t put your son over your daughter when your daughter is the one with the most at stake,” He begged. His father sighed loudly. 

_ “All right. I’ll hold off, but you’ll speak to Sophia and Ms. McFarley and fix this before Friday. Got it?” _

“Yes, sir.” 

_ “Good,”  _ He hung up without saying goodbye, leaving Arthur standing in silence in an empty classroom. He groaned, leaning his forehead against the wall. 

It was already Monday afternoon, which meant Arthur only had three full days until the deadline Morgause had set for him. He didn’t know what she was doing or how she had the picture in the first place, for that matter. She had no need for money and yet she bribed Arthur, telling him that she would release the picture unless he sent her five million pounds by Friday evening. He knew that she knew he had the money. He also knew she knew he couldn’t give it to her without risking his reputation, the reputation of the Crown, and a nationwide debate on whether or not he should be prosecuted if he had, in fact, committed a crime (a debate which he would be on the “yes” side of, by the way). 

“Fuck!” He kicked the rubbish bin and slammed his hands on a desk. Arthur scrubbed a hand over his face as the door opened. 

“Sir? Is everything all right in here?”

“Fine, Galahad. Just give me a minute, would you?”

“Of course, sir.” 

None of this made any sense. Less than a week ago, Uther had been gung-ho about protecting his kids and now…Did he not care about what would happen to Morgana if they released…well… _ that _ ? Although if she had been the one to suggest it, maybe he was overreacting. After all, his sister could be very persuasive. Still, she  _ was  _ his sister and he would never let her do that. 

Maybe his father felt the same way, deep down, and was only acting the way he was because he was stressed about it. Now that he thought about it, Arthur couldn’t imagine it happening. Because despite all of Uther’s faults (and there were many), he would never purposefully do that to anybody, let alone his own child. 

The bell rang and Arthur quickly rushed to leave the room and get to his next class before students started shuffling in. Galahad usually kept his distance when he was in school, but he looked concerned and refused to leave Arthur’s side for the duration of the walk, regardless of how many times Arthur glared at him. 

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


After three more classes, footie practice, and two hours video chatting with the pr team, Arthur was exhausted. All he wanted to do was finish his homework and go to sleep. He was also hungry, though, so he dragged himself to the dining hall, a concerned looking Mithian next to him. She’d had this job for long enough that neither of them cared about propriety and considered each other friends, in a weird (sometimes awkward) way. 

“Are you sure you’re all right?” 

“I’m fine,” He said. 

“Okay,” She nodded. “You look like shit though.”

“Thanks,” Arthur deadpanned, glaring at her. She smiled. 

“You’re welcome.”

Inside, he ignored Mithian and got his tray quickly, hoping to avoid conversation with people he didn’t want to speak with. Unfortunately, he didn’t succeed.

“Arthur!” The prince sighed quietly and turned around.

“Hi Marcus,” He forced himself to say. 

“Hi! I was just wondering if you’d thought anymore about what we discussed?”

Ah yes, of course. About a month ago, Marcus had approached Arthur to ask about joining his club.  _ “Everyone is welcome. The more the merrier!”  _ He had said but it was obvious that all Marcus was looking for was to draw attention to his club by being able to boast that the Prince of Wales was a member. It wasn’t that Arthur hated Marcus’ club - which raised money for underprivileged youth throughout England - but he had about a thousand other offers and, in all honesty, didn’t particularly enjoy Marcus. He was a nice bloke and all but he was incredibly annoying sometimes and also very judgmental. For someone who was determined to lessen the class divide, he sure was a classist prick. 

And in fairness, Arthur sponsored several charities, including one supporting impoverished children and children in danger. Maybe he could help the club raise more money, but he already spent at least one night a month schmoozing the upper crust for all they were worth on behalf of those charities. He wasn’t complaining by any means. In fact, Arthur liked to guilt rich people into helping others they pretended to care about. And he knew this wasn’t the point, but it didn’t hurt that it made him feel less guilty about his own wealth and privilege, if marginally so. 

“Unfortunately, I haven’t the time. I would have loved to, though and I wish you luck. Be sure to let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” Arthur could hear his friends’ snickers in his head. They thought it was hysterical when he used his “monarch voice,” as most of them called it (though Gwaine called it his “stuck up git voice”). 

“Well, actually-”

“Sorry, Marcus,” Arthur cut him off, “But now isn’t a great time.” He left before Marcus could respond and found his way to his mates at their usual table, slamming his tray down with more ferocity than he had intended. 

Leon swallowed his bite and raised an eyebrow, then asked, “Hard day?” 

Arthur scoffed, “You could say so. Marcus again.”

“That prick? I want to know when he’s going to take that stick out of his arse,” Gwaine spat. 

“And the silver spoon,” Percival added. 

“Doesn’t a silver spoon go in the mouth?” 

“Not his, Leon, not his,” Gwaine said. 

“Well, what I’d like to know is why his group does fundraisers that raise maybe a few hundred pounds when they could just as easily check between their sofa cushions and pull out a thousand.”

“Me too,” Arthur smiled at Lance. “For all the times he’s asked me to join, he’s never once asked me to donate.” 

“Has anyone here ever actually asked you for money? Flat out?”

“You mean besides Gwaine?” That earned him a two finger salute from his cousin. “No.”

“I’d think people would be too scared.”

“I’m not scary,” He told Percival, mock offended.

“I don’t know, mate,” Lance said. “Have  _ you  _ ever gone up to someone to ask for a currency with their father’s face on it?”

“Don’t be stupid, Lance,” He smiled. “I’d write a cheque.” They chuckled. Arthur felt someone sit down next to him and turned his head. 

“Hi everyone,” Merlin cheerfully said, setting down his tray. “What’s going on?” 

“We’re just discussing how Arthur wants to give us all a bunch of cash.”

“I do  _ not _ . And again, you don’t need cash, Gwaine!”

“I’m just excited for when it’s  _ your _ face, mate,” Lance laughed. Gwaine put his elbow on the table and rested his hand on his palm, fluttering his eyelashes. 

“Yes, won’t he be dreamy?” 

“Piss off,” Arthur balled up his napkin and tossed it at Gwaine’s head. Merlin laughed. 

“You’re both ridiculous,” He said and Arthur blushed. “So how was everybody’s day?” God, Merlin was so sweet. 

“Crap,” Lance answered. “I let Gwaine get three balls past me and into the goal at practice.  _ Gwaine _ .”

“Oi! I’m bloody brilliant at it, thanks very much.” Percival tilted his hand back and forth in an “eh” gesture. “Oh, go fuck yourself.” 

“Mine was all right, thanks, Merlin.” Merlin smiled at his roommate. 

“Glad to hear it. Anything exciting?” Arthur wanted to squeeze Merlin tight and never let go. And where had that thought come from? He’d had crushes before, but never like this. What was that all about? Why did he suddenly have the urge to repeatedly run his hands through Merlin’s dark locks?

“No. Although talking to your mum was certainly a highlight.” Merlin laughed. His mum? When did Leon speak to her?  _ Why  _ did Leon speak to her? 

“Well, she certainly loves you. She asked me if she could trade Will for you,” He smiled, “And Will was in the room so he wasn’t too happy.” 

“Tell her I’d be happy to be traded. Is she really going to send those biscuits?”

“Oh yeah,” Merlin nodded. “She’s convinced I’m being starved or something so she’ll send lots of food, I’m sure.” 

“Well, now I’m interested,” Gwaine said, leaning in closer to Merlin. 

“I’m sure she’ll send plenty, Gwaine,” He rolled his eyes. “There’ll be more than enough to go around.”

“Well, my day was fine and now it’s great. Think she’ll send vodka too?” They laughed. “Percy? You’re up, mate.”

“It was good, thanks.”

“A man of many words, our Percy is.” 

“How about you, Arthur?” Merlin focused his attention on him. “How was your day?” 

“It was…good. Fine. Could’ve been better,” He saw Leon looking at him with concern and averted his eyes. “How was yours?”

“It was great, thanks! It would have been perfect if Peters hadn’t told me off.”

“Yeah, that happens,” Leon told him. “Just ignore time. He’ll have forgotten by tomorrow anyway.”

“And he doesn’t mean that metaphorically,” Percival elaborated.

“Anything in particular happen, Merlin?” Lance asked. 

“I got hired to work at the coffee shop in town,” Merlin announced, beaming. “I didn’t think I’d get it and the interview didn’t go well but I did! And my friend Gwen even works there! So that’s where I’ll be on weekends now.” Arthur’s other friends congratulated him. He didn’t get why Merlin was so happy. Surely nobody would want to give up their weekend. He certainly didn’t like it when Uther made him go back to London for ceremonial duties during his free days. Even with George calling and emailing him twenty-four seven, he got some chance at respite. 

“What would you want to do that for? I say take advantage of the free time we have now because depending on what you end up doing, you might not have many weekends free as an adult.” Merlin didn’t look happy. In fact, he looked rather irate. 

“Well, I’m glad you can do that but some of us have to work for a living,” He spat. 

“I thought you were on scholarship?” Lance gave him a warning look but he didn’t back down. He wasn’t going to let a comment like that go unchecked. “Seems to me like you don’t  _ have  _ to work for a living. But if you enjoy working then who am I to judge?”

“You arrogant prat! The scholarship doesn’t pay for my full tuition and I have other expenses to worry about too! Like Lance said, your father is the one with his face on money, not mine. Don’t pretend to know what I have to do.” Merlin stood up, grabbed his tray, and left. Arthur was halfway between furious and ashamed. He definitely shouldn’t have said what he said, but he also wasn’t used to being shouted at. He knew he deserved it but he had only ever been yelled at by five people in his life: two of them were his family members, two of them were currently sitting at this table with him (and didn’t look happy), and the fifth was his nanny (though that was a very long time ago). 

“Nice, Arthur. Way to show you’re down to earth.”

“That isn’t helpful, Gwaine,” Said Leon. “Arthur, come to our room later and apologize. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

“I didn’t mean to be rude,” Arthur sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “He’s right. I  _ don’t  _ know what he has to do. Or what most people have to do, for that matter.”

“That’s not your fault, Arthur,” Percival assured him. “You can’t help what you were born into.”

“Yes, well, I suppose he can’t either. Fine,” He huffed, “I’ll apologize to him later.”

“Don’t do it if you’re not going to mean it. It doesn’t mean anything,” Gwaine said. 

“I do mean it! I get that I shouldn’t have said that but he  _ was _ being a little dramatic. I didn’t mortally wound him or insult his mother or challenge his honor or whatever things stereotypically offend people.”

“Those aren’t the only things worth being cross over,” Lance said, trying to be gentle, which only served to make Arthur more annoyed than he already was. 

“I know that, Lance! I’m not an idiot. I just mean that it’s a little dramatic. We’re not in a Shakespearean drama.”

“Obviously not,” Gwaine said. “Shakespeare knew that poor people existed and didn’t ignore them.”

“Fuck you. I don’t do that and you know I don’t do that. You aren’t exactly a saint yourself, Gwaine, so don’t act it,” Arthur said, quiet, cold, and crisp. In a mirror of Merlin’s actions just minutes earlier, he got up with his tray and stormed out. He knew it was an overreaction but he was committed now. But yes, he needed to apologize. 

No matter what Gwaine might insist, he wasn’t an idiot. 

  
  


___________________________________________

_ “You’re an idiot.” _

__ “Thanks very much, Morgana.” 

He had phoned her to speak with (reprimand) her about her solution to the Morgause Problem (she insisted on capitalizing it) and after screaming at each other for upwards of thirty minutes, he had ended up getting yelled at about Merlin. He didn’t know how she had gotten it out of him but she was always unnervingly good at getting people to talk. 

_ “I’m serious.” _

__ “I know. Can we get back to the matter at hand?”

_ “No. Why haven’t you apologized to him yet?” _

__ “Because,” He sighed, “I’ve been talking to you since dinner.”

_ “Well then get off the phone with me and talk to him.” _

__ “We’re not done discussing-”

_ “We are. Talk to your friend.” _

__ “Morgana! We need to-”

_ “I’ll see you in less than two weeks and if you still want to talk about it then…” _

__ “Then we will?”

_ “Then I’ll get to ignore you in person. Now let me go! I have to revise for my exam tomorrow.”  _

__ “Fine,” Arthur was less than happy and made sure to make that clear in his tone. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” He dropped the mobile on his bed and groaned. Gwaine, who had quickly gotten over their tiff (“You being miserable is punishment enough”), laughed at him. 

“Go on then.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Too bad, princess,” Gwaine smiled, “Because you have to.” Groaning, Arthur stood up and moved towards the door. 

“By the way, the first thing Morgana said when she answered was to tell me to tell you to stop asking her to bring booze.” 

“Ah,” Gwaine said, smirking, “That’s her way of saying she’s bringing it when she visits.”

“I really don’t think it is.”

“Otherwise she would have texted me. This is code.”

“She said she  _ did  _ text you but you ignored her.” Gwaine shrugged nonchalantly. 

“You’ll see. Go talk to Merlin.” Arthur rolled his eyes but left the room. Mithian raised her eyebrow at him - a common occurrence. 

“Are we going somewhere?” 

“Just to Leon’s room.” He closed the door behind him. 

“Leon isn’t there. I saw him leave twenty minutes ago and he hasn’t returned.” He ignored her and knocked on the door. He heard her snicker and made a rude gesture in her direction without turning around. Merlin, who was already in his blue, plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt that was way too big for him and simply said “fuck you,” looked at him groggily and rubbed his non-black eye. His hair was a mess and it was obvious that he had just woken up. 

“Arthur?” He must have noticed the prince’s attention was on his shirt and added, “Will’s,” When Arthur still didn’t say anything he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to apologize,” Arthur stated firmly, posture stiff. He stood just like he would have in a room full of MPs or business bigwigs. Merlin looked at him blankly for a few seconds and then rolled his eyes. 

“That’s it? That’s your apology?” 

“I said that I came to-”

“You told me why you were here but you never actually apologized.” Christ, this boy was infuriating. What did he expect? Arthur Pendragon didn’t do apologies with anyone outside of his father, sister, and his close circle of friends - and even then it was rare. He hadn’t even apologized that time in year eleven when he accidentally lit a curtain on fire at a house party. Hadn’t even admitted to it, in fact. 

“Fine. I apologize. Happy?”

“Very,” Merlin deadpanned. “I’m going back to sleep now.” He started to close the door but Arthur caught it with one hand, pushing it back open. 

“No, wait! Jesus, I’m sorry, all right? I messed up. You were right and I was wrong. Can we move on?” 

“Why are you even apologizing?” Merlin huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Because you’re my friend and I wronged you,” He admitted, in a rare moment of (semi)vulnerability. 

“We’re friends?” 

“Of course we are,” Arthur frowned. “You don’t think we’re friends?”

“Well,  _ obviously _ I considered you  _ my  _ friend. I just didn’t know if you considered me to be your friend. I’m glad to hear it though.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re really not very good at this apology thing, are you?”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur ordered. Merlin smiled at him. “Goodnight,” He said, turning to leave. 

“Wait,” Merlin said, grabbing his arm. They both froze for what felt like eternity but what was more likely less than two seconds until Merlin yanked his hand away, like he’d been burnt. Why did he feel awkward about it? Was he worried Arthur would think he liked him? That would be stupid. Arthur had no doubts, especially after this evening, that Merlin could never like him as more than a friend. Arthur was just too posh, too this, too that for him. “Wait,” He said again. 

“I’m waiting.”

“Just…while we’re talking I wanted to say…well, I think it’s great that you’re learning Welsh,” Merlin said awkwardly. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. It’s uh…it’s pretty cool.” Arthur felt the blood rushing to his cheeks and found himself blushing. 

“Thanks,” He stood silently for a moment before clearing his throat. “Well, goodnight then, Merlin.” He turned and walked back to his door.

“Nos da, Arthur.” He smiled to himself and heard Mithian scoff from behind him as he closed the door. 

“Shut up,” He thought he heard Merlin say to her as he closed his own door. 

That night, as Gwaine snored peacefully next to him and he drifted off, Arthur thought of nothing but the feeling of Merlin’s hand on his arm. He didn’t think about the Morgause Problem or his father’s inevitable lecture the next day when he found out Arthur didn’t have a solution yet. He smiled. The last thing he remembered before falling was whispering to the ceiling. 

“Nos da, Merlin.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it happened folks - I finally have writer’s block. I’m still trying to write as much as possible but I can’t promise chapters as frequently as before. Never fear! I’m committing myself to at least one a week! 
> 
> I hope everybody is staying indoors, if they can. We owe it to the people who can’t stay home to isolate ourselves. Also, doctors and nurses (and all other medical professionals) are awesome.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just a filler chapter.

“Come oooooonnnnn, Merlin! I just want to see! I can’t do anything! I’m not even there! What’s the problem?” 

“You’re a git, that’s the problem.”

Merlin had only been on FaceTime with Will for two minutes before he started asking to see Leon’s “rich person shite.”

“You owe this to me.”

“Why?” 

“Because…I’ve, I don’t know, done stuff?” Merlin scoffed. “Come on!”

“I don’t even know what you mean by ‘rich person shite,’” he did an obnoxious imitation of his best friend just to get a rise out of him. 

“Oi! I sound nothing like that. And you know what I mean! The three hundred pound sunglasses and the posh versions of regular food,” Will explained. 

“Posh versions of regular food?”

“Yeah, like all that Whole Foods shite.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. Will was ridiculous sometimes. He was also incredibly angry about the wealth gap in the country (he wasn’t exactly wrong) and never failed to let Merlin know how his classmates were all posh arseholes. That was one of the reasons he hadn’t told Will about Arthur yet. Not that there was anything to tell. They were friends and nothing more. Either way, Will wouldn’t take it well. Merlin figured he should give it at least a few weeks just in case Arthur decided that he was wrong all along and Merlin was just some poor loser that he didn’t want to be friends with. 

“Will, he doesn’t have-” 

“Merlin?” There was a knock on his door and he heard someone’s voice. 

“Who was that?” 

“I see the same side of the door that you do, Will.” He opened the door. It was Arthur. Fuck. 

“Are you ready to go?” Arthur was wearing a maroon jumper with the collar of his light blue dress shirt poking out and it was all Merlin could do to not squeal. Holy fucking moly. Nobody should be allowed to look that hot while wearing multiple layers and with almost no skin showing. Fuck. “The rest of the guys are already in the dining hall.”

“Uh…yeah, just give me a-”

“Merlin? Who is that? Who are you talking to?” Merlin held back a groan.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were talking to someone. I can meet you there, if you’d like?”

“Nah,” Merlin shook his head and looked down at his mobile. “Got to go, Will. Talk later, yeah?”

“Ah, so that’s the famous Will,” Arthur smirked. 

“Merlin! Who is that? Is that…holy fuck, mate, are you fucking kidding me? I can’t believe-”

“Gotta go, Will, bye,” he said all in one breath and quickly hung up. Arthur gave him an amused look. 

“Shut up.” 

Arthur threw up his hands in defense, “I didn’t say anything.”

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


“I’m telling you, mate, it was hellish.” Gwaine was telling a story that was very hard to follow. The gist of it was that some girl from the girl’s school the next town over was drunk out of her mind and he’d tried to find her friends to take her home but before he could, she vomited on him. When he got back to the dorms, Arthur’s guard on duty hadn’t let him in the room because his shirt was technically a biohazard. Arthur had slept through the whole thing and only found out when he left the room the next morning and found Gwaine asleep in the hallway. Merlin thought it was funny but apparently everyone else heard him complain about this all the time. 

“It was year ten! Let it go already,” Leon begged. 

“No! I’ll never forgive that prick. And Arthur just laughed at me!”

“Yeah, well you were the idiot who decided the best solution was to sleep in the hallway instead of just taking off the shirt,” Arthur pointed out.

“I don’t think it was actually the shirt, mate,”said Lance, smirking, “I’m pretty sure Bertrand just hated Gwaine.”

“Who doesn’t?” Gwaine shoved Percival in the shoulder as hard as he could, though it didn’t move him more than an inch. 

“Can we please talk about something else?”

“Oh, like how George called me today?” Leon nodded when everyone else made incredulous noises. 

“Umm…who’s George?” Merlin asked. 

“My assistant.”

“Unfortunately.” 

“He isn’t that bad, Gwaine. He’s just…focused.” Merlin thought Arthur probably agreed with Gwaine and was just being diplomatic. “Leon, why did he call you?”

“He said you haven’t answered any of his calls or emails in three days and that Galahad wasn’t helpful.” Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“In Galahad’s defense, he did tell me he rang, I just didn’t care.”

“I don’t understand,” said Merlin, confused. “Why don’t you want to talk to your assistant? Doesn’t he…I don’t know, assist you? What do you need assisting with anyway?”

“George peels his grapes.”

“Shut up, Gwaine,” Arthur didn’t even look at his cousin before responding to Merlin. “He can be very…”

“Overbearing?” Leon suggested. 

“Annoying?” Percival asked. 

“Controlling beyond belief?”

“A stuck up arse that thinks you’re twelve and can’t do anything for yourself?”

“Yes, yes, yes, and no. Well, okay, kinda. He does his best, certainly. He’s been on me about this one thing for days and I’m working on it so I don’t think I need to respond.” It was clear from his tone that nobody should ask what the one thing was, although Merlin had a sneaking suspicion that everybody else knew. That was fine. He didn’t think he would be let in on everything from the very beginning. He’d known them for less than a week and they’d all known each other for years. Leon and Arthur even grew up together. Well, as much as someone can grow up with a prince. 

“So what did he say when he called you?” Lance asked Leon. 

“Not much,” he shrugged. “He just asked that I tell Arthur to please answer his mobile.”

“Which I won’t be doing.”

“Wait a minute,” Gwaine thought out loud. “I’m Arthur’s roommate, so why didn’t he ask me?”

“He doesn’t like you, mate,” Percival told him, laughing. “Why would he ask you?”

“He doesn’t like me? Why? What’s not to like?” 

“You’re joking,” said Lance. “You are joking right? Gwaine, you get Arthur drunk and you’re always around when he sneaks out.” 

“He does those things voluntarily. He even suggests them sometimes.”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty much perfect in his eyes. I can’t do anything bad, bad things are done to me.” Merlin smiled when Gwaine groaned and dropped his head to the table. 

“I thought you didn’t like him,” Merlin said. “So why does it matter if he likes you?”

“Because if George doesn’t like you, life is difficult,” Lance explained. “Gwaine, he’s always not liked you; you just found out now, that’s the only difference. He’s not going to suddenly hate you more because you know.”

“Have you met Gwaine? He thinks everybody has to like him,” Percival argued, “So he’s just going to try and ingratiate himself to him, which will fail and end up with George hating him more.” 

“Fair enough.” They all laughed and Gwaine groaned some more. 

“You’ll meet him soon enough, Emrys,” he warned. “Good luck when you do.” 

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


Merlin had about a million texts from Will that he saw after they ate. He didn’t have the energy or the patience to answer them all right then, so without reading them he simply replied, “I’ll read these and respond tomorrow, I promise. Don’t tell Mum,” and then went to sleep. 

Wednesday morning, Merlin got up early to go to the appointment he had scheduled with the assistant headmaster. His outeroffice was cool and clinical, and the secretary looked exactly like any secretary from a fifties film would. She was young, pretty, and blonde. Merlin was sure she was probably very smart and good at her job (she had to be to keep up here) but he also had the distinct feeling that wasn’t why she was hired. He had this feeling not because he thought she wasn’t deserving or a man could do it better or anything of the like. No, it was because Mr. Alined didn’t hesitate to stare directly at her arse when he came out and she happened to be walking to the printer. Jesus. Didn’t he realize he had a student right there? Well, he shouldn’t have been surprised. Merlin had heard a rumor that each of his secretaries just so happened to be fired around the time of their thirtieth birthday. He had asked Percival why no one did anything about and he just looked at him incredulously. Ah, yes of course, none of the old white men on the board would give a fuck. 

“Mr. Emrys?” 

“Yes, sir,” he said as he stood to shake the other man’s hand. They had met twice before. Once when Merlin visited with Uncle Gaius and once last week when Merlin arrived. 

“Come on in.” Once they were settled in the seats of Mr. Alined’s (ridiculously enormous) office, the assistant headmaster smiled at him. “What can I do for you today?” 

“Well, umm, sir, as you know, I’m here on scholarship and-”

“Yes. I don’t know if you know, but I read your application. Your essay was quite good.”

“Thank you, sir. As I was-”

“I was moved by your resilience, young man. A lot of other young people in your situation wouldn’t be able to succeed. After all, it’s very hard when a parent doesn’t take care of their child, isn’t it?” Merlin stiffened. 

“My mother does take care of me, sir; she works countless hours a week to provide for me and to send me here. She raised me without help from anyone else and she always did her best.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Mr. Alined said awkwardly, seemingly surprised at Merlin defending his mother. He cleared his throat. “Good then. I’m glad to hear it. So what can I do for you?” 

Merlin tried to squash down his anger and said, “I need to earn money somehow now that I don’t have my job at home. I got a job at the coffee shop on Main Street and I’ll work there on weekends but…”

“Yes?”

“Well I’m going to need more hours. I know the policy and that students aren’t allowed to leave campus during the week but I was wondering if you could make an exception?” 

“Mr. Emrys,” Mr. Alined sighed, “Mr. Emrys you are not above the rules - nobody is. No one gets to leave campus during the week unless there is an emergency. Full stop. You’ll just have to deal with only working on the weekends. Cut back on some luxury expenses if you have to.” Merlin was practically seething now. 

“With all due respect, Mr. Alined, I don’t have luxury expenses. If I don’t get enough work then my mother either goes hungry or without heat or both.”

“She shouldn’t expect you to-”

“She doesn’t. If I can’t work I can’t stay.”

“Are you threatening to leave Camlann, Mr. Emrys?”

“No, sir,” Merlin shook his head. “It’s not a threat, just reality.”

“Well, the rules still aren’t bendable for everyone-”

“Arthur went home for two days last week. Four days, if you count his surgery. I thought nobody was above the rules?” Merlin pretended to be confused. 

“Watch it, boy. The prince goes home when he is required to. Required by the king.”

“The king doesn’t have any actual power over you.”

“Well, the school’s trust disagrees. If there are no emergencies, you stay. That’s final.”

“Sir, this is an emergency,” Merlin was practically begging now. “I’m trying to feed my family, sir. And my mother has medical expenses the NHS doesn’t cover. Please.”

Merlin wasn’t under any illusion that Mr. Alined was nice, but he was at least hoping for him not being cruel. And this? This would be cruel. There was a picture on his desk of kids that were obviously his. How could he not understand how important providing for his loved ones was? Then again, it was easy not to think about other people’s situations when you were doing well. Finally, Mr. Alined sighed. 

“Okay. You can have two days a week. Figure it out and then give your schedule to my secretary.”

“Thank you, sir! I really really appreciate it. Seriously, I can’t-”

“Just go to breakfast, Mr. Emrys.” Merlin quickly nodded, picked up his bag and left, practically running out the door. 

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


“Hey, Merlin,” he was greeted by Lance as he set his tray down and sat (next to Arthur again). 

“Hi guys.”

“Where were you this morning Merlin?” Leon asked. “Did you go to the gym?”

“There’s a gym here? Nobody told me that!” They laughed at him. 

“They probably did and you just didn’t listen, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur teased. 

“I’m not that oblivious.”

“You didn’t know the princess was here though.”

“That’s completely different.”

“How so?” Lance asked.

“Because,” Merlin crossed his arms and huffed jokingly, “It just is.” 

“If it makes you feel better, I also try my best to ignore Arthur’s existence.” The prince flicked a piece of potato at Leon, who caught it and popped it in his mouth. “I’ll show you the gym if you’d like.” Merlin scoffed. 

“No thanks. I’m anti-exercise,” he proudly declared and Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“Of course you are. That’s why you’re a stick.”

“Oi!”

“A sexy stick,” Gwaine amended. Arthur rolled his eyes again. 

“I’m fooling around Merlin. You’re fine as you are.”

“A ringing endorsement,” Merlin replied sarcastically. 

“At the very least, that black eye is almost gone.” 

“Finally. I’m sick of my mum freaking out every time I FaceTime with her as if she didn’t already know it was there,” he said. 

“So where were you this morning?”

“Oh, right. I was speaking with Mr. Alined.” They all grimaced. “I know. But he’s letting me leave campus twice a week so I can get extra shifts.”

“That’s good,” Lance said. “How’d you swing that?”

“I can be very persuasive.” They laughed. “It’s true!”

“I’m sure it is, Merlin,” said the prince like one might to a child. Merlin just huffed.

“So what are everyone’s plans for the day?”

“Really just class, football, and the review session this evening.Oh, and I promised my father-”

“Wait, what? Football?” Arthur stared at him like he was an idiot. 

“Yes, Merlin. It’s that game where you kick a ball down a field and-”

“Shut up. I know what football is! That’s not what I’m saying. Didn’t you have surgery last week? You were in hospital!”

“Dear god, Merlin, I’m not actually practicing; I just have to go,” Arthur explained. 

“Oh. Why? Shouldn’t the coach just tell you to stay in bed?” 

“You haven’t met our coach,” Leon said. “He’s ruthless.”

“Wow. So I take it you all hate him then?”

“Nah,” said Gwaine. “We love him.” 

“You’re…you’re all so confusing.” 

“We love him because he helps us win. And he’s not all bad.” 

“Though I could do without the yelling,” Percival added. 

“Yeah…but of course Arthur never has to endure that.” Of course. Because the prince could never be yelled at. Posh people were ridiculous. 

“Hey! He reprimands me all the time.”

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t ever yell at you, mate.”

“I don’t know, Lance,” said Leon. “I think he's scarier when he’s ripping Arthur a new one than he is when he’s yelling. People are always scarier when they’re mad and quiet than they are when they’re mad and loud.”

“That’s true, I guess. I’m always more nervous when the king lectures quietly than I am when he yells.”

“My father rarely yells.”

“I know; that’s why I’m so scared of him.” 

“You’re both wrong,” Gwaine decided. “The scariest thing on the planet is when Morgana yells.”

“She’s all talk,” the prince said. 

“Tell that to my balls, princess. I’m never going to be able to have kids.”

“She didn’t kick you that hard, Gwaine, don’t be dramatic.”

“You probably shouldn’t be allowed to have kids anyway.” 

“Sod off. Don’t you have some halls to monitor or something?”

Merlin decided to stay silent. It was nice to just hear some of their stories. Even a few days ago Arthur wouldn’t have been okay with discussing his family in detail. Merlin had thought he was an open book but maybe that’s just what he wanted people to think. Leon was right. Still, it was nice that he was okay talking like this in front of Merlin - and so quickly too. 

“So, Merlin,” Gwaine began, catching his attention. “Are you ready for biology today?” Merlin groaned and hit his head on the table. 

“Somebody just put me out of my misery now, please.” 

“You’ll be fine. Want me to send you some criticisms of Arthur for you to read out loud?”

“No!”

“Don’t even think about it, Percival,” Arthur warned. 

___________________________________________

  
  


Biology class ended up being rather uneventful, with the exception of Ms. Davenport glaring at him every few minutes and Valiant’s valiant effort (no pun intended) to get a reaction out of him by throwing waded up balls of paper at the back of his head - and seriously, who did that anymore? Unfortunately, there weren’t any seats open near his friends so it was still as boring as last time. 

Afterwards, when they were walking back to their rooms, Arthur kept grimacing. He didn’t say anything, but it was obvious he was in pain. Gwaine rolled his eyes and ignored it, clearly of the opinion that it wasn’t worth arguing over. Leon, on the other hand, didn’t keep his silence. 

“Did you take your painkillers this morning?” Arthur glared at him. 

“Yes, I did. They’re just wearing off, that’s all. And I’m fine.”

“Right,” Gwaine snorted. Leon looked to Mithian, asking her silently for help and she sighed. 

“Arthur. I have them with me; take your fucking pills.” Arthur swatted her hand away when she reached out to give them to him. 

“I’ll do it later; I don’t have any water to take them with.” 

“I’ve seen you swallow much bigger tablets dry. Take them.” 

“No.” Merlin had a feeling this was a regular occurrence. Arthur seemed like the type of bloke who wanted to appear strong at all times and that it translated into unhealthy habits. 

“You know you look like an idiot, right?” he asked. Mithian smiled. 

“What?” 

“I mean, you aren’t cool or whatever you think because you can endure pain. God forbid anyone thinks the great Arthur Pendragon feels pain from being cut open and sewn back up. Here,” Merlin snatched the bag from Mithian and shoved them towards Arthur. “Now take them or I’ll get Percival to hold you down while I shove them in your mouth.” Arthur silently took them from him, stared at him as he put them in his mouth, and swallowed. Gwaine and Leon exchanged looks. 

“That’s a good prince. Now, stop wasting time. We’ve only got an hour until tea and then you’ve got a class to teach, your royal highness.” He walked ahead and tried not to smile. Merlin imagined it was a rare occurrence that somebody could get Arthur to shut up and do as he was told.

And boy, did he look cute when he was flustered. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mithian knows and Morgana is in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a super short and plot-filled chapter for you.

“Thanks everybody, just take a seat wherever. We’ll get started in a couple of minutes.” About half of year twelve was gathered in their hall’s common space. There was an exam in their government class the following day and nobody would do very well if they went into it with only the information given to them by Mr. Peters. Fortunately for them, by the time Arthur was seven, Uther had insisted on his tutors teaching him about government structure and by age twelve he could practically recite the rules of parliamentary practice on the spot. 

“Wow,” said Merlin. “I didn’t realize this many people would come.” He was standing up front with Arthur and the lads before their review session started. 

“Yeah, well, Peters isn’t too tough a grader but there’s only so much leeway he can give for multiple choice. Right,” he said, pushing himself away from the whiteboard he was leaning on, “I should probably start. Are we waiting on anyone?” Percival shook his head.

“Not that I know of.” 

Good. He could start. He could start teaching his classmates a class that they should have been taught by a competent teacher, then he could go back to his room and revise for the three other exams he had in the next week, try to figure out how to get a rich sociopath to not ruin his life by outing him, make sure his sister doesn’t ruin her life on his behalf, do the other six things his father had asked (ordered) him to do, review and approve questions for an upcoming interview, do laundry, and get a full night’s sleep. Easy enough. 

“All right,” he raised his voice so everybody could hear. “Let’s get started, shall we?” 

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


They were about forty minutes into their review session and it was going…okay. 

“Wait, so you can be prosecuted even if you’re an MP?” Rhys, a kind but relatively dimwitted member of their year, asked. People around him groaned and rolled their eyes. 

“Like I said, there is something called parliamentary immunity but it doesn’t cover everything, and certainly not  _ violent crimes _ , which is what this case was about. We really  _ do  _ need to move on but there’s a miniseries about it if you’re that interested.” Arthur certainly sounded like he wanted to move on but in all honesty he could talk about Jeremy Thorpe and Norman Scott for ages; he absolutely loved  _ A Very English Scandal _ \- and  _ not  _ just because he was incredibly attracted to Ben Wishaw. 

“Bet Emrys could tell you about it, Rhys,” someone said. Arthur looked up and saw Alinor, one of Valiant’s mates, at the back of the room. “He probably knows all about it. Powerful and a poofter? It’s definitely in his wank bank. Makes you wonder what his hopes are with our prince here, ‘eh? Someone better break the news to him that Arthur isn’t a fairy like him.” Merlin was immediately on his feet, blushing but furious. 

“Fuck off. You don’t know a damn thing.” Arthur saw Leon put a gentle hand on Merlin’s arm, trying to coax him into sitting down. Merlin shrugged it off. “Why don’t you say it again, hmm?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Emrys?”

“I’ll tell you what I’d like, I’d like-”

“Enough!” Arthur put an end to it. “Alinor, shut up and sit down or leave. No one is interested in your idiotic comments. Now, if you’d like to-” The door opened with great force, swinging out enough to hit the wall and bounce back and almost hit Mithian, who stepped into the doorway, looking more frantic than she usually did (still calm and collected, as she was supposed to be, but to someone who knew her it was a sight to see). 

In what seemed like slow motion, at least five other agents followed behind her. Two of them grabbed Arthur and in all the chaos and yelling he couldn’t see or hear what happened with anyone else before he was dragged out of the room. Mithian was barking orders at people and he couldn’t make himself say anything. Before he knew it, he was being shoved into a car, followed by Mithian, and it started moving. 

“Arthur? Arthur?”

“Mithian,” he regained his ability to speak. “Mithian, what the hell is happening?” he demanded. 

“I need you to remain calm while I tell you this, though I know that’s unlikely. Your sister was in an accident. She’s in hospital.”

“What? What happened? Is she-”

“She’ll live, but they don’t know how bad it is.” 

“But I don’t,” he felt like he couldn’t form a proper thought. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand. What’s happening?” Why did she need so many agents to take him so she could tell him this? Why couldn’t they have just gotten into a car normally? 

“They aren’t sure but we think it might have been, well, not an accident.”

“You think my sister was  _ attacked _ ?” 

“It’s too early to say anything.”

“When did this happen?” he asked frantically. 

“About an hour ago.” Arthur banged his fist on the door. 

“Then it shouldn’t be too fucking early!”

“These things take time.”

“Well if you can’t be sure then why the  _ fuck  _ did you just get me now?”

“We didn’t have any reason to believe it was intentional until about four minutes ago but new evidence came to light.”

“What fucking evidence?”

“I’m not at liberty to-”

“Oh, of course you’re bloody not. Fuck!” She grabbed his wrist with one hand and her chin with the other and turned his head to face her. 

“Listen to me. Morgana is going to live. You’re going to be fine, okay? Getting you out was just a precaution.”

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“No, I suppose not,” she admitted, dropping his chin and wrist. “Still, we got you in the car.”

“I’m not worried about myself! If someone is trying to attack me at school and thinks I’m still there, they’ll find my friends! They’re constantly in the papers with me! Any psychopath coming for me is sure to know what they look like!”

“Leon, Gwaine, Percival, and Lance are all safe, do you hear me? They’re in a secure spot.”

“What about-” Arthur cut himself off. Merlin wasn’t in any papers with him yet so it wasn’t like anyone would know him anyway. 

“What about who, Arthur? Were you going to say what about Mer-” He didn’t let her finish. 

“Why wasn’t I told about Morgana earlier? Is she awake? Is my father with her?”

“We didn’t want to say anything until we knew more about her condition. No, she’s not awake but the king is with her.” Her phone suddenly rang and she answered it with an apologetic look. 

“Nemeth. Yes, your majesty, he’s with me. Absolutely fine, sir. A bit shaken up, of course, but he’s safe. Yes, sir.” She shoved the phone at him and he grabbed it. 

“Father?”

_ “Arthur? You’re with Mithian?” _

__ “Yeah. Is Morgana…is she…”

_ “She broke her left leg and a few bones in her foot, and she had a cerebral hemorrhage and she’s in surgery now.” _

__ “Fuck.” Uther didn’t snap at him for his language which, for once, made him feel about a thousand times worse. “Okay. I’ll be there soon. When will she be out?”

_ “Four to six hours. You’ll be here before that.” _

__ “All right. I’ll see you soon.”

_ “Yes.”  _ Uther hung up and Arthur blindly held out the phone in Mithian’s general direction before he felt her take it. He closed his eyes and pushed his head up against the glass. 

“Don’t do that,” Mithian scolded, which led him to believe she was more nervous than she was letting on. The windows were bulletproof and they were going very quickly but if it made her feel better, he’d move. He leaned his head back against the seat. “So? What did he say?”

“Her brain is bleeding. We won’t know anything else for four to six hours.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Arthur really didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m going to call my friends now,” he said, reaching for his phone in his back pocket. She wouldn’t like it but Arthur had put his mind to it and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him. Mithian obviously knew this because she only sighed and offered hers instead. 

“Here. At least use mine.”

“Why?” he questioned. 

“Just in case.”

“Just in case of  _ what  _ exactly?”

“Jesus Christ, Arthur, just humor me, please?” He gave in and grabbed her phone, probably a tad more aggressively than she deserved. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but he was angry at the world and she, unfortunately, was becoming his outlet. He rang Leon.

_ “Mithian?” _

__ “It’s me.”

_ “Arthur!” _ He heard his other friends making noise in the background when they heard his name.  _ “Are you all right? What’s happening? They won’t tell us anything.” _

__ “Morgana’s in hospital. She got into an accident and her brain is bleeding but they aren’t sure if it actually  _ was  _ an accident so that’s why they took me. She’s going to live but that’s all we really know.”

_ “Fuck,” _ Leon sounded like he might cry, which, yeah. 

__ “Yeah.”

_ “Are  _ you  _ okay? I don’t mean just physically.” _

__ “Not really but there’s nothing to do for it. We won’t know anything for hours. Where are you guys? Is everyone okay?”

_ “Basement of the science building. We’re all all right.” _

__ “Yeah?”

_ “Yeah. Gwaine’s already arguing with the agents so you know  _ he’s _ all right, at least.” _ Arthur gave a little smile even though he knew Leon couldn’t see it; it was all he could muster.  _ “Do you want me to not…” _

__ “No, you can tell them. I’d appreciate it, actually. I’m not really in the mood to-”

_ “Yeah. Are you going to-” _

__ “Morgause has the picture.” He didn’t know what made him say that but he suddenly just found that he had to. He didn’t regret it either. 

_ “You’re shitting me.” _

__ “Nope,” he popped the ‘p’ and tried not to sound like he was about to cry. 

_ “And is she going to do something with it? Like, release it, I mean?” _

__ “Unless I make some sort of deal with her by Friday.” He hadn’t told Mithian about any of what was going on - not even that he was gay - but it didn’t surprise him that she didn’t look surprised or confused by the conversation he was having. It made sense, after all, that someone would have needed to tell her. Arthur appreciated that she hadn’t mentioned it or treated him any differently because of it. And honestly, if she didn’t already know that he was gay, she was pretty bad at her job. She had to have been around at least one of those few times he had kissed guys. 

_ “Jesus. Any ideas?” _

__ “No. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, I suppose.”

_ “Which will be when, exactly? Not to put any pressure on you, Arthur, especially now, but it’s already Wednesday night and-” _

__ “I know. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. This is more important.”

_ “Well, if you need me there - or any of us for that matter - for any reason at all, we’ll be there. Doesn’t matter if it’s a weekday - we don’t care if we get kicked out of school,”  _ he tried to joke. 

__ “Thanks,” Arthur’s throat felt thick. “Talk soon, yeah?”

_ “Yeah. Let us know if you need anything.” _

“I will. Thanks. Bye.”

_ “Bye.” _

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


When they arrived, Arthur was rushed through a backdoor and into a lift. They had hit some terrible traffic once they reached the Cambridge area and it was already eleven. He was escorted from the lift to his father by a man who introduced himself as one of Morgana’s nurses, though Arthur couldn’t remember his name. Lance’s mum was a nurse and he had always expressed to their friends how important it was to remember your nurses’ names. That, he had explained, would ensure they didn’t hate you; nobody liked someone who didn’t remember their name, and nurses were really the people who took the most care of you. Arthur always made sure he did that, but right now he didn’t have the mental capacity to remember anything that wasn’t about his sister. He would figure out the nurse’s name later. 

“Arthur,” Uther greeted him as he entered, standing and approaching him. There was a brief moment where neither of them could figure out if they were supposed to shake hands like they normally did or hug. Eventually, Morgana’s voice in both their heads reprimanded them and they embraced, if briefly. 

“Father. Have you heard anything?”

“She’s going to be fine.” Arthur breathed a sigh of relief and practically collapsed into one of the uncomfortable looking plastic waiting room chairs beside him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Uther nodded. “She’ll need a while to recover but she should be fine.”

“Good.”

“Yes.” They sat in awkward silence for the next forty-five minutes until a doctor came out to tell them it would be another hour before they could see her. Arthur sighed and turned to his father. 

“What was she doing in London anyway?”

“Seeing Morgause.” 

“What?” Arthur was furious. “We agreed that we wouldn’t make that trade! You lied to me and-”

“Arthur! Would you get a hold of yourself? That wasn’t the trade we made. How dare you accuse me of lying to you? And if I had, that’s my prerogative.”

“Well, what did she trade then?”

“I don’t know. I only know why she was here because her security detail told me after I got to the hospital.”

“So how do you know she didn’t trade the photograph then?”

“ _ Because _ I was reassured by her security. Now are you done interrogating me,  _ your highness _ ?” Uther looked irate so Arthur swallowed his pride. 

“I apologize, Father. I’m just…anxious.”

“I know, Arthur,” he sighed. “I know.” 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another short but plot-filled chapter for you.

Merlin was sitting alone in his room, utterly confused and a ball of nerves, when a knock came at the door. 

“Um, hi?” he half said and half asked when he saw one of Arthur’s guards, Galahad, on the other side of the door. 

“Mr. Emrys, I’ve come to-”

“Merlin.”

“Pardon?”

“Please, just Merlin,” he said awkwardly.

“Right…well, Merlin, I’ve come to ask if you would be willing to accompany me to where your roommate and the prince’s other friends are being held.”

“ _ Held _ ?”

“For safety. I can’t explain any more than that if you do not come with me.” Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Galahad was nice enough but uncomfortably formal about everything. Merlin guessed that probably came with being a royal guard and that Mithian was likely the exception rather than the rule. Still, who spoke like that? 

“Uh, sure. Yeah, okay,” he said, grabbing his jacket and donning Will’s old wellies. 

While Galahad seemed perfectly comfortable with it, Merlin was never one for silence and felt incredibly awkward as they walked. Normally he would chatter regardless, but Galahad seemed very on edge, and considering what had happened earlier that evening, it seemed best just to follow his lead. 

Once they reached the science building, Galahad jerked his head towards the entrance and Merlin followed. Downstairs, he heard chatter and complaining (in a voice that sounded very Gwaine-like) and smiled. The door opened. 

“Merlin!” They all said at once and he laughed. 

“Hi guys. Are you all okay? What’s going?” He sat down next to Gwaine as one of the guards searched his bag before handing it to him and closing the door behind himself as he left. 

“Thank god,” Gwaine said. “This is the first time they’ve left us alone all night.”

“Arthur’s sister got into a car accident,” Lance explained. “She’s going to be okay but she needed operations.” 

“That’s terrible. Is Arthur all right?”

“Yeah,” Leon smiled. “I mean, no, but yeah.” 

“So why are you all in here? And why did they barge into the room like that before?” He took off his jacket, accidentally hitting Gwaine with some water droplets. 

“Hey!” Merlin ignored him. 

“They’re not sure it was an accident and they thought Arthur might have been under threat too.” He stared at Leon blankly. He was trying to process what he was hearing because just the thought of anybody wanting to hurt Arthur made him feel sick to his stomach. “Merlin?” 

“Yeah? Sorry,” he replied, shaking his head to bring himself out of his reverie. 

“Are you okay?”

“Am  _ I  _ okay? Is  _ he  _ okay, is more like! And you guys for that matter? Why are they holding you?”

“We’re seen in the press with Arthur often enough and anyone crazy enough to want to kill the prince is going to know who we are.”

“Doing their research,” Gwaine practically spat. Leon nodded. 

“Exactly. Soon enough, you’ll be in the same situation.” Merlin didn’t have anything in his mouth but he still choked. 

“I’m sorry - what?”

“Well, you’re part of the group now,” Leon told him and smiled, “So you’re going to get photographed.”

“I am?”

“Of course. When we go into public with Arthur-”

“No,” he cut Leon off, “I mean, I’m part of the group?” They all looked at him like he was an idiot.

“Of course you are,” Lance reassured him. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

“Because you’ve all known each other for years! You just met me last week!” 

“So? You’re our friend,” Percival spoke for the first time, “Doesn’t matter how long we’ve known you.”

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  
  


“Your turn, Percy,” Gwaine said. “Truth or truth?” 

“Truth.” For some reason they had decided to start playing dumb games once it became clear they wouldn’t be hearing anything or be allowed to leave anytime soon. Truth or dare was nixed because they couldn’t exactly complete many dares from where they were, so truth or truth it was. 

“Would you lie to Arthur’s dad to protect me?”

“Depends on the lie. If your life was in danger? Sure, although I don’t know how that would happen. If you got caught trying to steal his whiskey or you broke something? Absolutely not.” 

“You’re the worst.”

“Yeah. Truth or truth, Lance?”

“Truth.” 

“Would you ever report one of us?”

“Yes, if the ‘one of us’ is Gwaine and the thing he did wasn’t punishable by expulsion. I cover for him all the time but if he annoyed me enough I absolutely would.”

“Oi! What about the rest of these losers?” Lance shook his head. 

“They would never be able to annoy me  _ that _ much.” 

“Fuck you. No you wouldn’t.”

“Gwaine? Truth or truth?”

“It’s not my turn!”

“I’ll gladly give up my turn to make Gwaine go,” Leon said. Gwaine huffed but acquiesced. 

“Truth or truth?” Lance asked again. 

“I don’t know. Truth, I guess.”

“Would you ever actually try to sleep with Mithian?”

“Nah, it’s just for laughs. She does it too though, just not when any of you guys are around.”

“Why should we believe that?”

“ _ That’s  _ why she does it when you’re not around. She says no one would believe me.”

“Well, if she had said that she’d be right,” Leon told him. 

“Whatever. Merlin. Truth or truth?”

“Oh, definitely truth, please.”

“If you had to date slash kiss slash sleep with one of us, who would it be?” Everybody groaned, Merlin included. He wasn’t offended though because he knew it wasn’t about him being gay - he had asked Lance the same thing fifteen minutes ago. 

“‘One of us’ as in in this room or…”

“Yep,” Gwaine said, taking a swig from his water bottle like it was something much worse than water, “That definitely means Arthur.”

“Gwaine!” Leon snapped. 

“Fuck you,” Merlin laughed. “It does _ not _ mean that.”

“Fine. Then who?” Merlin was silent. “Ha!”

“Fine! But you can’t tell him, all right?” Merlin blushed. “I mean it. Any of you. I don’t want to creep him out.”

“Of course we won’t tell him, mate, but I promise he wouldn’t be creeped out.” At that, Leon gave Gwaine a warning look but he couldn’t decipher what it meant. 

“You promise?”

“Yep.” 

“Yeah.”

“Yes.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks. All right, Leon, truth or truth?”

  
  
  


___________________________________________

  
  
  


A few hours later almost all of them had fallen asleep, exhausted from a mix of the late hour, coming down from the adrenaline, and a long day of school. Merlin and Lance were the only ones remaining and they lay next to each other in sleeping bags a member of the residential staff had brought them. 

“So,” Lance whispered, “This thing with Arthur…is it an actual interest or just if you  _ had  _ to choose one of us?” Merlin rolled over to face him, hands tucked between his head and the pillow. 

“Interest,” he whispered back. “I wish it wasn’t. It sucks having a crush on someone who isn’t interested in your gender, let alone you.”

“You say that from experience? Your friend Will?”

“Nah, we’ve always been like brothers,” he dismissed. “No, one of my other friends - Freya - she had a crush on me back in year seven. Only one to ever have, actually.”

“That you know of.”

“I guess that’s true. Still,” he shrugged as much as he could at that angle.

“So you’ve never kissed anyone?”

“Are you about to ask me how I know I’m gay if I haven’t even-”

“No! Of course not!” Lance sounded appalled. “God no. I’m not that stupid. Besides, I’ve never kissed anyone either.”

“What?” Merlin asked in disbelief. “That surprises me.”

“Because I’m friends with Arthur?”

“Because you’re  _ you _ , Lance. You’re handsome and kind and smart and just about the nicest person I’ve ever met. You and my friend Gwen.” 

“Thanks. I don’t know, I’ve just never been interested in someone who was also interested in me and I don’t want to just kiss somebody randomly, you know? It’s not a first kiss thing, it’s just in general. I’m not interested in that.”

“Fair enough.”

“Are you the same way, then?”

“I don’t know. I guess? I’ve never really thought about it. Haven’t had the opportunity either way, so it never mattered.” 

“Well Gwaine’s straight as, but I’m sure he’d give it a go for you,” he joked. Merlin laughed quietly. 

“I think I’ll pass,” he said. They lay in silence for a while - so long, in fact, that Merlin thought Lance might have been asleep. Then he spoke. 

“Merlin?” 

“Yeah?”

“Do you regret coming here?” Merlin thought about it for a minute. Did he? No. Some of it was awful and hard and ridiculous and some of the people sucked and he missed his mum and he missed Will and he missed Freya and he missed Ealdor and he was worried and on and on and on…but no. No, he liked it here. His roommate was great; it was an excellent school; he’d made a lot of friends; and it was nice to have a little independence, love his mother though he did. 

And then there was Arthur. Arthur who he hadn’t known a week and couldn’t imagine life without. Arthur who sat next to him at meals and only pretended to be upset when he took food from off of his plate. Arthur who was generous and kind to everyone. Arthur who had a sense of humor about himself and his position. Arthur who was going to be the head of the bloody Church of England and knew fuck all about religious studies. Arthur who wore those posh shirts and jumpers even on the weekend but come ten o’clock was in joggers and a pullover that looked like it had been through a war zone, it was so tattered. Arthur who Merlin could definitely maybe see himself loving someday. 

“No, Lance. I don’t regret it at all.”

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


“I wasn’t doing that! I wasn’t even  _ thinking  _ about that, Leon, I swear. I was just trying to reassure the guy that his friend wouldn’t  _ hate him _ .” Leon sighed. 

“Okay. Sorry, Gwaine, it’s just…”

“I know, mate. You’re just trying to protect Arthur.”

“Yeah.” 

Merlin had woken up to Leon and Gwaine whispering around him. He wasn’t sure if he should say something or not because he wasn’t sure the conversation they were having was secretive. Besides, if he  _ did  _ say something and it  _ was  _ meant to be a secret then it would look like he had been eavesdropping. Instead, he tried to fall back asleep even though he wasn’t tired. 

“Leon…do you actually think I would ever out Arthur to Merlin? Or to anyone at all? And even if I was a terrible human being, he’s going to have to do it himself soon and I wouldn’t want to add to that.” 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Let’s stop talking about it before everyone wakes up, yeah?” 

What. The. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…yeah…that’s how that happened. 
> 
> :)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana wakes up and learns about Merlin. Arthur makes a friend.

“This is stupid,” Arthur said. “I don’t know why I’m doing this. But, god, Morgs, I need you right now.” Arthur was sitting alone by his sister’s hospital bed. He had started talking to her like characters in movies did to their unconscious loved ones, and even though he felt stupid he didn’t want to stop. 

“I know that’s selfish of me seeing as you’re the one who was in the accident and I’m not. And fuck, we’re not even sure it was an accident.” He grabbed her hand though he never would if she was awake. He scrubbed his other hand over his face, trying not to let any tears fall. “But…I don’t know what to do. What did you do with Morgause? I’m worried you did something stupid. 

“And…and well if I’m being selfish for a moment, I might as well dive in head first and mention him. That boy I was telling you about, Merlin? Leon’s roommate? Morgana, he’s…I don’t even know. He’s obnoxious, clumsy, annoying, unrefined, brilliant, caring, gorgeous…he’s just perfect. Imperfectly, of course, but, yeah.”

“Well then go ask him out, you moron.”

“Morgana?” He looked and saw her eyes half open and she was smiling a little. “Oh my god.” He hit the button to call the nurse. 

“What happened? How long have I been in hospital?”

“Stop talking, your voice is scratchy.”

“Tell me what happened.” At that moment, the nurse came in, squeaked and ran off to get the doctor. “Judging by her reaction, I must look great.”

“Yeah, it’s not your best look, but I think she was just surprised you’re awake. You’re not supposed to be up for hours yet.”

“So sorry to disappoint.”

“Shut up. Don’t fool around.” 

“Where’s Uther?” she asked, sighing. 

“He’s around here somewhere. Do you want any water?” 

“No. What happened?” The doctor entered - thank god - and saved Arthur from having to explain anything. She has two nurses with her. 

“Your highness,” she said. “My name is Doctor Burgess, I’ve been treating you since you arrived last night. How are you feeling?”

“What happened?”

“You were in a car accident.”

“Was anybody else hurt?” Arthur tried not to roll his eyes. It probably would have been his first question too.

“A few minor scrapes and bruises but otherwise fine.”

“You’re a pretty bad liar, Doctor.”

“And you’ll have to deal with it. You were the worst of it, I’ll tell you that much.” She turned to Arthur. “Sir, if you wouldn’t mind stepping out? You can tell your father she’s awake.” It wasn’t a question so he did as he was told. 

Uther was standing a little ways down the corridor, on the phone, his face tense. Arthur stood and waited patiently. 

“And you’re absolutely sure about this?” he heard his father ask. “Good then. I’ll want to speak with her security today. Yes. Goodbye.” He hung up and looked at Arthur. “They have no reason to believe it wasn’t an accident.” Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Good. That’s…good then.”

“Yes.” 

“She’s awake,” he said, remembering why he was talking to his father in the first place. 

“Already?” 

“Yeah. She’s in with the doctor now.”

“How is she?”

“Rude and inconsiderate.”

“So fine then?”

“Yeah, fine.” They shared a small smile. Uther clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past. Arthur sat in an abandoned chair and leaned his head against the wall. He knew he should probably call the lads soon and let them know everything was all right but he was too drained. 

“Papa?” Arthur turned his head and saw a little girl, no more than seven by the looks of her, walking down the hallway, holding her father’s hand. “Why are the men all in suits?” 

“They’re security,” her father explained. “They keep people safe.” 

“Oh.” That seemed to satisfy her. “Are they here to keep the princess safe?” That surprised Arthur. Did people already know? It made sense that the news would have it by now but was her room number leaked? The girl and her father surely weren’t threats of any kind, probably patients or visitors. It wouldn’t have been hard to put together that the security all around the hospital was for Morgana, he supposed. 

“Yes. They’ll keep the princess safe.”

“Is being in hospital dangerous?” 

“No, sweetheart. In hospital doctors and nurses fix you up and make you all better. That’s why you sister is here, yeah?” The girl nodded but didn’t look reassured. They were getting closer and Arthur would have to move soon if he didn’t want to be seen, but he was having trouble bringing himself to care. Luckily, the chair he was in was one of a few in an area of the corridor that was recessed. Still, it was only a matter of seconds before they saw him. 

“But…”

“But what?”

“But Mummy said that the doctors didn’t fix the queen and that’s why the prince doesn’t have a daddy  _ and _ a mummy like me.” Arthur froze. Seriously? He had to hear this of all things right now? Fuck. And he couldn’t get mad, because the girl didn’t know what she was talking about and even if she did, she didn’t know he was right there. Arthur pulled his head back and closed his eyes so he couldn’t see them anymore. He heard the father sigh. 

“Sometimes not everybody can be fixed. But I’ll tell you what: the prince has a mummy just like you do, the only difference is she’s in heaven, okay?” The girl presumably made some sort of affirmative gesture. “Right. No more questions now, all right? People are trying to sleep.” 

“Sorry,” said the girl. “Are you trying to sleep, sir?” 

“Molly, who are you- Shit.” Arthur opened his eyes and saw them standing in front of him.

“That’s all right; I wasn’t asleep.” The father paled, apparently mortified. 

“Your highness, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t understand that-”

“That’s more than all right,” he said, standing. “No harm done.”

“You’re the prince,” the girl, Molly, said. 

“I am. And who might you be?”

“I’m Molly. My sister thinks you’re pretty.” He laughed. 

“Molly, don’t bother the prince.” 

“No, that’s all right, Mr…?” Arthur extended his hand. 

“Oh, um, Naqvi,” he replied, shaking his hand. “I’m Hassan Naqvi.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Naqvi.” He knelt down in front of the girl, completely back in prince mode. 

“Hello, Molly. Your sister thinks I’m pretty, does she?” 

“Yeah. I told her she should marry you but she says she can’t because you’re not a girl.”

“Molly!” 

“Well,” he chuckled. “I’m sorry to say I can’t then. But if she’s anything like you, I’m sure she’s very pretty too.” Molly giggled. 

“You’re nicer than your dad. He looks scary.” 

“Molly!” 

“He’s nice too,” Arthur exaggerated. “I promise.”

“Why are you here?”

“I’m visiting my sister. Are you doing the same thing?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Her name is Sara. She bumped her head just like the princess but she also hurt her tummy.” He looked up at Hassan. 

“She uh…she got beat up on by some of the boys from her school.” 

“I’m very sorry to hear that. Is she going to be all right?” 

“Yeah, she’ll be okay. They just had her on anesthesia for a while so she has to stay in post-op for the rest of the day.” 

“Good,” he said and stood up. “Do they know who did it?” He really shouldn’t have been asking those types of questions or this many but he couldn’t help himself. Plus, it kept him from the awkward scenario of this man he had just met trying to apologize over and over again for perfectly factual comments made about his mother. Well, she was certainly dead. Arthur  _ hoped  _ she was in heaven, but he wasn’t sure what he believed about the afterlife anymore. If there is a heaven though, he was sure that was where his mother was. 

“Yes, they’re in custody. They’ll get off easy, though,” Hassan told him, shrugging. Arthur didn’t have anything to say to that because he knew what he meant and that he was probably right. “Thank you for talking to her, sir. Molly is a big fan of yours.” 

“I like it when you ride the ponies in the newspaper!” she told him. 

“Polo,” her father elaborated. 

“I like riding them too. Do you like horses, Molly?” 

“They’re my favorite! What’s your favorite animal?”

“I’m not sure,” he chuckled. “I’ll get back to you.” 

“We really should be going.” Hassan took his daughter’s hand. “Again, I’m sorry.”

“No need to be. It was lovely meeting you both.”

“And you, sir. Come on, Molly, let’s go see Sara, yeah?” 

“Do you want to come, Prince Arthur?” she asked earnestly. He smiled at her. 

“Thank you for the invitation, but I should go see my own sister. Tell her I said to feel better though, will you?” Molly nodded.

“Bye!” She skipped off down the corridor, her father trailing after her apologetically, and Arthur found he couldn’t stop smiling until they rounded the corner. 

Mithian came, seemingly out of nowhere, and appeared next to him seconds later. 

“How endearing.” He jumped. 

“Christ, Mithian! How and  _ why  _ do you do that?” She shrugged. “I’m assuming you’ve heard the news then? If you’re back to torturing me for fun.”

“What, that no one’s after your sorry arse? Yeah, I heard. I expect people still are but no more than usual.”

“You’re always a comfort.” 

“Call your friends,” she said, ignoring him. “Let them stop worrying.” Arthur checked his watch. 

“It’s half six. Have you met any of them?” 

“Have  _ you  _ met any of them? They’re either too worried to be sleeping or they’re sleeping restlessly with their phones in their hands on high volume,” she told him. “The room two doors down is empty. I had someone bring some of your things, so your computer is in there. Go Skype or FaceTime your friends, or whatever it is you use.” 

“Fine,” he replied when she gently pushed him in that direction, “But you shouldn’t have sent someone out of their way to pick up my stuff.”

“It was the only way I could get George to wait until morning to show up. Would you rather I had let him come?”

“Never mind, you’re my hero and I’ll never question you again.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


“So no one wants you dead?” 

“Not at this very second, no.” His friends were all in some sort of storage room somewhere with no windows. They had demanded he tell them everything before they would answer any of his questions so he hadn’t asked yet. 

“Good,” Gwaine said. “Living with someone new would have been shit.”

“Whatever. Where are you guys? A closet?” 

“Yeah, actually,” Lance said. “Basement of the science building.” 

“That’s…crowded.”

“It’s cozy,” joked Percival. “We’re making it work. 

“But we’ll be able to leave now, right?” Leon looked like he was about to lose his mind. 

“I’d imagine. No reason why not, at least. Hey, where’s Merlin?” 

“What? What are you talking about? I’m right here.” 

“You looked like you were in a different universe; I wanted to make sure you hadn’t been replaced.” 

“Very funny. I’m just…tired.” It didn’t sound like it was just fatigue that was making him act strangely but Arthur let it go for the time being. Clearly neither of them had the energy to talk about it. 

“Have you spoken with her much, Arthur?” asked Leon. He shook his head. 

“Only briefly when she first woke up. I didn’t hear much about how she’s feeling; she kept asking about what happened.”

“She doesn’t remember?” Lance questioned, looking concerned. 

“Not that part, but I don’t think that’s unusual. I’ll go in a little while and ask one of her nurses how she is.”

“Can’t your dad just tell you? Certainly he knows how she feels if they’ve spoken.”

“Uther doesn’t  _ do _ feelings,” Gwaine told Merlin and Leon gave him a reproachful look. 

“No, he’s right. As long as someone isn’t dead or dying they’re ‘fine and everyone should stop wasting time worrying about it and get on.’”

“That was scary, mate. Are you sure he isn’t in the room with you?” 

“I should go. If I can’t talk to Morgana I might as well do my work so I’m not super behind when I come back to school.”

“When will that be?” Arthur shrugged. 

“Who knows? If Father has his way? Probably today.”

“Uther usually has his way.” 

“Yeah,” he conceded, deflated. “Yeah he does. Okay. Talk later?” 

Once they hung up, Arthur decided not to go to one of the nurses and instead made his way back towards Morgana’s room. He heard quiet voices and knocked. 

“Come in,” Morgana’s weak voice called. Their father was sitting in the chair beside her bed and looked slightly less stressed than he did before, but not much. “Welcome to my new place, Arthur. Like it?”

“But downmarket for my taste, but a flat’s a flat,” he joked. “How are you?” She shrugged. 

“I could be worse. You didn’t have to stay, you know. Once they realized it was an accident you could’ve gone back to school.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Arthur!” Uther exclaimed, scandalized. Morgana just smiled. “All right,” Uther sighed. “I have to go but I’ll be back this evening. You’ll be fine, darling?” She nodded. “Good. Arthur?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Leave for Camlann by noon.”

“What? I’m not going to leave her alone here. I’ll wait until you get back.”

“Do as I say, Arthur. You have responsibilities beyond the family.”

“Father, even if I left within the hour it’s unlikely I’ll make it back before my last class of the day. What’s the point? I won’t make it to class either way so why should I go back early?”

“You have football practice.”

“I sit on the sidelines.”

“Arthur-”

“Are you genuinely telling me you’d rather your son watch his friends play footie and leave your injured daughter alone than let me stay a few extra hours? That’s-”

“Arthur!” His father barked. Arthur stopped and waited for him to speak. Tersely, he said, “Fine. Stay until I return. But I won’t hear such insolence from you again, is that clear?”

“Yes, Father.” He left, leaving Arthur to collapse in the abandoned seat. “Is that how you always feel when you’re fighting with him?”

“I’m better at it than you. Don’t worry, practice makes progress,” she said. They sat quietly for a few moments and studied each other’s faces. Arthur was looking at her bruises and the bandages around her head, but he had no idea what she was looking at. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re asking  _ me  _ that? I’m not the one who just got hit with two tons of steel.”

“You seem like you're contemplating something. Is it Merlin?”

“What? No.” 

“It  _ is _ ,” she decided, grinning. 

“It is  _ not  _ him. What the hell did you do with Morgause?”

“Nothing, Arthur,” she sighed. 

“That’s bullshit and we both know it. When I was twelve you asked me what was wrong and when I said ‘nothing’ you pushed me off the swing.”

“I did do that, didn’t I?”

“Yes. So answer the question honestly. What did you do?”

“I gave her something she doesn’t have. That’s all she ever wants, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s rich as fuck and bored out of her mind. She wants to be entertained and to be entertained she plays with people.” 

“I don’t understand.”

“What does Morgause want most in the world? Think, brother dear.”

“I don’t know what she wants. Stop trying to be Mycroft, you’re not Mycroft.”

“You  _ do  _ know what she wants.”

“No I- Fuck. You didn’t.” She shrugged. “Morgana!”

“It’s not as big a deal as you think it is.”

“It  _ is _ . That’s worth far more than two extra months of being closeted - which I don’t particularly enjoy in the first place.”

“Yeah, but it’s worth being able to come out. It’s worth what you’re going to do for millions of gay people around the world.”

“I’m not going to-”

“Yes you are, shut up.”

“Morgana, you know I can’t help you with this, right?”

“I know.” She didn’t seem to care. Or, at least, she was trying to seem like she didn’t care and was doing a good job of it.

“You’re a good sister. Better than I deserve,” he told her. 

“You don’t have a good sense of self-worth,” she said it with no hint of joke or pity.

“Thank you. Sincerely. You know you can have any of mine, right? And not just because of this. You’ll always be allowed to-”

“Tell me about Merlin,” she cut him off, apparently done with the conversation. He groaned. 

“What do you want to know?”

“Why do you like him? Besides the ridiculously vague list of reasons you gave when you thought I was comatose.”

“I don’t know.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I don't! It’s weird. It’s not like any crush I’ve felt before.” Morgana tried to raise her eyebrow but couldn’t with the bandages. “I’ve known him for a week, and he takes up most of my waking thoughts.”

“And sleeping ones?”

“Shut up. But yes. And not whatever it is your perverted mind has thought up; just regular dreams but he’s there.”

“I’m assuming you don’t have a picture because you’re a boy and boys don’t think to take them. Give me your phone.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Mine was destroyed and I want to Instagram stalk him.” She held out her hand. Arthur rolled his eyes, but dug the phone out of his pocket and handed it over. 

“He doesn’t have an Instagram. And I’m only giving that to you because you’re injured. Don’t start thinking you can suddenly start taking my phone whenever you want.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” It was clear Morgana wasn’t paying any attention to what he was saying. He bounced his leg impatiently as she scrolled and typed. 

“What are you even looking for? I said he doesn’t have one.” 

“I know. But on the phone the other day you got tetchy when Gwaine mocked you about someone named Will thinking you’re a prick. Who is he? Merlin’s boyfriend? His ex?”

“What makes you think it has anything to do with Merlin just because I was annoyed by it?” 

“Because you’re used to people thinking you’re a prick,” she said, rolling her eyes like it was obvious. “You’d only care if it had to do with someone or something  _ you _ care about. So who is he?” Arthur sighed, putting his head in his hands. 

“His best friend,” he caved. “I don’t know his last name though.” 

“Don’t need it.”

“What?” He looked up. “How can you find him without a last name? That seems…stalkerish.”

“Arthur, I’m stalking him, of course it does,” she replied. “Merlin is an uncommon name so I’m just searching ‘Will Merlin’ in Wales. They’re Welsh, yeah?” 

“Yeah. Any luck?” 

“No, nothing,” she sounded frustrated. “Anything else to go on?” Arthur gave up the pretense of wanting not to be involved.

“He has a friend named Gwen.”

“I’m assuming she’s also Welsh?”

“I don’t know. She lives in Camlann, but he was already friends with her so probably.” 

“I’m going to hit you! Gwen from Camlann?”

“Yes?” He was confused. Was that somehow significant? Apparently.

“We know her, you idiot.”

“I’m pretty sure I would know if I knew her.”

“Christ, Arthur.  _ Gwen _ is Guinevere.” 

“What? Really?” He sat up. “Are you positive?” 

“No, but it’s a safe bet, right? We call her Gwen too.” Guinevere was one of Morgana’s friends when they were much younger, before she and her family moved to Wales. She reconnected with Morgana a few years ago when her father got a job as the groundskeeper at Camlann Academy. Being in different years at school and in different cities, they had not become as close as they were in childhood, but they texted often and Morgana made a point to try and see her when she visited Arthur. 

“Then wouldn’t Merlin have mentioned it to me?”

“She told me that she never told her friends in Wales she knew us because they were anti-monarchist.” Arthur perked up.

“Will’s anti-monarchist. Okay, so look on her Instagram. Wouldn’t you have noticed someone named Merlin in her posts?”

“Believe it or not I never stopped to ask her who the names of every person she ever took a picture with who weren’t tagged were just in case I one day needed to see out if your crush was cute or not.”

“Wait, that’s why you’re doing this?”   
“Obviously,” she said, still looking at the phone. “Oh my gosh, is this him? He’s cute.” She showed the picture to Arthur. It was a picture from maybe three years ago during the summer. There were two girls (one of whom was Gwen) and two boys (one of whom was Merlin) in bathing costumes with their arms resting on the edge of an above ground pool. All of their smiles looked genuine. He took the phone from her and swiped to the next picture in the post. It was clearly taken on the same day, either in a field or on a lawn. Merlin was giving the girl who wasn’t Gwen a piggyback ride and the other boy (almost definitely Will) was giving Gwen one. The third picture was of the four of them passed out on an old couch and someone had covered them in a blanket before taking the photo. The caption read  _ “The last day of summer with my favorite people.”  _

“Yeah, that’s him. The one in the blue, not the other one.”

“What do you think would happen if I followed Will?”

“He probably wouldn’t notice?”

“I meant on my public account, not my private one.”

“But then people would know it was you,” he said, staring at her incredulously. Morgana rolled her eyes. 

“That’s the point.”

“But then Merlin will know I’ve been telling you about him.”

“That’s the point!” 

“No.”

“How are you planning on asking him out?”

“I’m not going to.” 

“Why not? He’s gay, isn’t he? He’s out?”

“Just because someone is gay doesn’t mean he likes me!”

“ _ Please _ .”

“Morgana! I’m not even out. He doesn’t know I’m gay.”

“He’s going to know soon! So ask him then! Or tell him now and ask him now. What’s stopping you?”

“Morgana. When I come out I’m not going to get beat up because I’ll have bodyguards - he won’t.”

“He’s already out, Arthur.”

“Yeah, and before he even confirmed it, Valiant beat him up. None of my mates will tell me  _ why  _ Valiant beat him up, which makes it more obvious. If he’s with me, it’ll only be worse.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Nobody is paid to protect him, Morgana,” he retorted. 

“So be a good boyfriend! Walk him to class, sit with him at dinner, go to the library with him. You actually think Mithian or Galahad or _any_ of your security team would let anything happen to someone you’re dating? Arthur, if they’re around they don’t let other kids get beat up regardless of whether or not it has anything to do with you in the first place.”

“Whatever. He’ll be exposed to the press and he’ll never have a moment’s peace. He has a job - they’ll follow him to work.”

“So you’re just never going to date? Or date someone with a job? Haven’t Percival and Lance had summer jobs? You didn’t stop being friends with them and the press see them all the time. You’re not afraid of that, Arthur. If you’re not going to do it admit that it’s because you’re afraid of rejection.” Arthur knew she didn’t mean it to be hurtful, and only that he needed to hear it, but it hurt nonetheless. He wasn’t afraid of rejection. Was she kidding? He was  _ terrified  _ of it. Merlin wasn’t someone who would give him what he wanted because he was the prince, Arthur knew that. He wouldn’t want a relationship built on that anyway, but this was the first time in his life where he was possibly going to face real rejection. Well, except from his father. 

“Can we not talk about it?” She glared at him. 

“Fine. You’re off the hook for now.”

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


That evening, Uther returned and Arthur was forced back to school. Morgana promised to update him on her condition but he knew that would never happen so he texted her roommates to make them promise instead. George had shown up around nine in the morning and insisted Arthur got some sleep. He wanted to find him an empty room but Arthur had just rolled his eyes and napped in a chair. 

As he went to get into the car, George was giving him a stream of information about something or other - upcoming events and the like. It’s not that Arthur didn’t care, but he was tired and George was going to put it in an email whether he listened now or not. 

“Is there anything you need before you go, sir?”

“I’m fine, George. Thanks though.” The door was opened for him and he got it. 

“I’ll send you that thing we talked about in an email tomorrow. Are you sure there isn’t anything you need?”

“Great. No thanks.”

“Okay. Because really if you-”

“George!” Couldn’t he leave Arthur alone? Leon would say that George couldn’t take a hint but it wasn’t a hint, it was a flat out statement. “I don’t need…” Then, something came to mind. Something very important. Something critical. “Actually, there’s one thing you could do.” 

  
  


___________________________________________

  
  


The next morning, while Arthur was still sleeping, Molly Naqvi was sitting on her father’s lap at the kitchen table, holding her new horse stuffy while he read the note that came with it to her: 

_ Dear Molly, _

_ My favorite animal is a lion. Thank you for making my day better. Please take care of your horse for me, and tell Sara to feel better soon.  _

_ With love, _

_ Prince Arthur _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that it’s been so long! My writer’s block has been terrible and I’m not doing very well. I know what’s happening next though, so that should be up relatively soon!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin has to decide if he should tell Arthur, and Hunith isn’t an idiot.

Merlin lay awake for most of Friday night, tossing and turning. By Saturday morning he was more tired than he would have been if he had just stayed up. Leon was doing his best to be quiet, as he always did, but it didn’t make a difference. It was two days later, and Merlin still didn’t know what to do. Did he tell Leon and Gwaine he had heard their conversation? Did he tell Arthur? What was the protocol for this?

“Merlin? Merlin, mate, are you up?” Leon whispered softly across the room. 

“Yeah,” he groaned. “Didn’t sleep much.” His roommate frowned. 

“Is everything all right?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. Breakfast?”

Leon looked like he wanted to say something but he didn’t push. Merlin was grateful. Leon was the last person he wanted to have that conversation with. Well, okay, no, it was definitely Arthur, but whatever.

“Sure.”

“Hey, Arthur. Are you all right?” Merlin asked, sitting down next to Arthur awkwardly. He got an awkward sort of grimace in response.

“Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking, Merlin.”

“And your sister? She’s fine too?” 

“She will be.”

“That’s great!” He looked around at all of his friends. “Should we make her a get well soon card?” 

They laughed. 

“Merlin, mate,” Gwaine said, “I don’t think Morgana’s ever gotten a homemade card, unless you count the ones from someone under the age of six who mailed them to her.”

“I doubt she’s gotten a card at all, Gwaine, homemade or not,” Lance said.

Merlin frowned.

“What, just because she’s posh and royal means she can’t get something homemade? My friends and I always make each other cards; it’s a great way of showing you care about a person.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with it, I just don’t think Morgana’s the type of person who-”

“No, Leon, I think he’s right.” Arthur turned to face Merlin. “Make your card and I’ll get it to her, Merlin. She’ll appreciate it. It’s very kind of you.” 

He smiled happily. 

“Great!”

“Sorry, mate,” Gwaine apologized, “wasn’t trying to squash your dreams or anything.”

“That’s all right; you were only trying to tell me what you thought.” 

Merlin’s phone buzzed in his pocket. “Sorry,” he told them, “I have to take it; it’s my mum. I can leave if you want.” He started to get up but felt someone grip his wrist. 

“We don’t mind if you stay here, right?” Arthur looked at his friends. They all nodded. 

“Thanks.” He swiped to answer, already regretting his decision. “Hi, Mum.”

_ “Merlin Emrys! Are you all right?”  _

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

_ “Have you looked at the news? The princess! And then the prince was taken from the school!” _

__ “Wait, what, hang on? You knew he went here?” Merlin asked, volume close to yelling. 

_ “Of course I knew, Merlin. What do you take me for?” _

__ “Well  _ I  _ didn’t know.”

_ “I purposefully didn’t tell you.” _

__ “Why?” Had Hunith actually just sent him to Camlann in the hopes that he would meet the prince? No, she would never do that. 

_ “Because I knew if you knew then you would let Will talk you out of going. I spoke to Gwen and we decided if you figured it out yourself that was one thing, but that you probably wouldn’t. No offense, love, but you do have a habit of not paying attention to things like this.” _

__ “I’m definitely not offended but  _ Gwen  _ was in on this?” His friends were giving him strange looks. 

_ “Did you think she didn’t know either? She lives there. Anyway, are you all right?” _

__ “Yeah, we were taken to a secure room and let us out yesterday. Sorry I didn’t call; it didn’t occur to me it would be on the news.”

_ “A secure room? Why?” _

__ “Well…”

_ “Merlin Gaius Emrys! Are you friends with the Prince of Wales and you didn’t tell me?” _

__ “I thought you’d freak out!”

_ “I’m not upset that you are, I’m upset that you didn’t tell me.” _

__ “Mum,” Merlin sighed, “I didn’t think you would be upset, I thought you would be excited and I didn’t want to say anything in case it didn’t work out. Also, I don’t care nearly as much as you or Will about these things.”

_ “Oh, Merlin, dear, you have to stop doubting that your friendships will fall apart. You know that Will, Freya, and Gwen would never leave you so what makes you think other people won’t like you too?” _

__ “That’s what you got out of that? Mum, I’m fine. Are you?”

_ “About what?” _

__ “Just…you know, in general.” 

Merlin played with a piece of the plastic on the table that was peeling off to try and distract himself. He loved his mother more than anything in the world but there was only so much he could take of her being worried like this (the amount was usually none, which Merlin recognized he needed to work on).

_ “Of course I am. Don’t you worry about me, love. How are classes?”  _

__ “They’re fine. Listen, I should go, Mum. Can I call you later?” 

_ “Sure. I’ll talk to you soon. I love you very much.” _

__ “I love you too. Bye.”

He waited for her to say goodbye, hung up, and put the phone back in his pocket. Everybody was looking at him funny, as if in concern. What was there to be concerned about?

“Is everything okay, Merlin?” Percival asked. 

“‘Course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You just sounded worried,” Lance told him. “Is your mum all right?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” he replied, brushing it off. “She was only worried because she heard about Arthur being taken from campus the other night and wanted to make sure nothing else happened. No biggie.”

“If you say so.”

Arthur didn’t look so convinced. 

By four o’clock Merlin had decided that he had to tell someone - be it Gwaine, Leon, or Arthur. Normally, he would go to Gwen or Freya for this type of thing (Will was bloody useless) but he couldn’t exactly out the Prince of Wales. Merlin would never purposely put anyone, for that matter. He could use a hypothetical or just say it was a friend without specifying, but if Gwen (and probably Freya, now that he thought about it) knew about Arthur, she would put two and two together easily enough. 

The question remained: who did he tell? If he told Arthur, the prince might be very uncomfortable and cut Merlin off; he might get Leon and Gwaine in hot water; Mithian might scoop out his brains and use his skull as a soup bowl. If he told Leon, he might make his roommate hate him; Leon might tell Arthur anyway; he may say Merlin was eavesdropping (he hadn’t meant to be); things could be awkward in their room. And if he told Gwaine, he also might hate him and he also might tell Arthur. 

All of those options could end disastrously. The conclusion Merlin drew was that no matter what, Arthur would probably find out. If that were the case, why would he make Gwaine and Leon feel guilty and put pressure on them to decide if Arthur should know? Merlin was already stressed enough for all three of them. No, Arthur had to know. That was the fair thing to do, right? Maybe? Or did that put Arthur in an awkward position?

No. He had to do it no matter what. It wasn’t fair to let Arthur think he didn’t know. Even if it ruined their friendship, he deserved to know. 

Would the prince think Merlin was only telling him because he was interested in him? Wait,  _ was _ he interested in Arthur? Sure, he was attractive and Merlin definitely had a crush but was he interested in being with him? Merlin didn’t want to be a dirty little secret. And even if Arthur were to come out, could he handle dating the prince?

What was he thinking about? All of this assumed that Arthur was interested in him and the likelihood of that was…well, unlikely. Merlin wasn’t particularly down on himself or whatever but he was realistic - no prince would want to be with him. 

Obviously Arthur wasn’t some snooty arsehole royal who stood around all day being judgemental (okay, actually, he kinda was, but whatever), but there still had to be a certain standard of who royals could date and Merlin couldn’t imagine he fit any of that criteria.

Well, whatever happened to their friendship, Merlin would just have to suck it up and tell Arthur. How did he do that though? Did he wait for the right time? Did he do it now? Was he prone to procrastination and putting things off until the very last possible second and then fucking them up? Yes. Fuck, okay, he had to get it over with now. 

Leon, Gwaine, and Lance had all gone to play some footie outside with some other team members; Percival was studying in his room and Arthur was alone. Well, now or nothing.

Merlin sighed and got up off of his bed. He left the scattered mess of books lying there. Normally he would try and keep neat for Leon but right now he didn’t care. His palms were sweaty and it took three tries to actually get a good enough grip on the handle to open the door. 

The agent outside was, of course, Mithian - because fuck him, right? She raised her eyebrows. 

“You look like shit.”

“And the same to you, madame.” 

“Looking for Arthur?” 

“What?” he scoffed. “I’m not allowed to leave my room to do something besides see Arthur? You’re making that assumption?”

“But you  _ are  _ here to see him, yes?” she asked. 

“Yeah. Is he in there?” 

Mithian sighed and dramatically stepped aside sweeping her arms across in a “be my guest” type gesture. Merlin knocked.

“Yes?”

“It’s me,” he said, trying not to gulp or let the nervousness come though in his voice. “It’s Merlin.” 

“Come in.” 

Arthur was sitting on his bed reading. Merlin wasn’t sure if the book was for class or not but he didn’t recognize. Arthur didn’t seem like the bookish type but maybe Merlin had misjudged. God, he hoped so. Guys who read were hot.  _ What? Focus, Merlin. Stay on track, _ he told himself. 

“Hey, Merlin. What’s up?” 

“Arthur?” he took a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it’s been so long and that it’s so short. I promise I’m not abandoning this.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk and Arthur has really good friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little dark in some ways, just a warning. Its focus is platonic love but it also focuses on depression. It’s not too graphic, though it does allude to self harm at points (nothing specific at all). I’ll put a summary of the chapter in the end notes if you don’t want to read it.

“Arthur? We need to talk.”

Well, that couldn’t be good. Had Arthur done something to upset Merlin? He had a hard time recalling  _ anything  _ he had done in the last week let alone specific interactions with people. 

And why was he so concerned about offending Merlin? He had never worried that much before. Sure, he tried to be nice and he never intentionally hurt anyone but he also never assumed that he had. God, having a crush made him an absolute idiot. 

He put his bookmark in and set the novel aside. 

“Sure, Merlin. Have a seat.”

He sat up in bed and gestured to the empty space but Merlin took the desk chair. Arthur frowned. 

“Is something the matter?”

Merlin looked tense and nervous. He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs for a minute, presumably to make them less sweaty. 

“Merlin, what’s wrong?” he pressed.

There was a sharp intake of breath and Merlin said, “I heard Gwaine and Leon talking the other night.”

Well, that certainly didn’t clear anything up.

“Okay?” 

“Well-”

“Did they say something stupid? I’m sorry, they mean well they’re just dumbarses sometimes.”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s…well…”

“Merlin are you all right?” Arthur thought he looked like he might pass out. “Do you want some water or something?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks. The other night, in the basement of the science building, we were playing truth or truth.”

Arthur chuckled.

“Merlin, I assure you anything they said about what they think of me I already know, if that’s what this is about.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s…okay, I got asked about if I had to kiss one of you guys who would it be and…well, I said you.”

“Oh.” 

Now that  _ was  _ surprising. Merlin wanted to kiss him? Maybe he didn’t but at the very least he would pick Arthur out of all their friends. Arthur felt something warm in his chest.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I promise there’s a point to this story so please just hear me out.”

“Of course.”

“So they were all mocking me and I made them promise not to tell you - even though I’m now telling you, and I see the flaw in my logic there, trust me. I was worried if you knew you’d be creeped out.”

“I’m not,” he assured. “Merlin, I’m not creeped out. I’m…flattered, actually.”

Merlin blushed. 

“Gwaine promised me you wouldn’t be creeped out if you knew and I guess the way he said it bothered Leon or something? Anyway, we eventually went to bed and early the next morning I woke up to Gwaine and Leon whispering. I swear I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop and I would have said something if I hadn’t been trying to fall back asleep but I heard what they were talking about. Leon was upset with Gwaine but he got over it because he knew he was probably overreacting.” 

Arthur swallowed nervously and felt his heart speed up. 

“Wh-what was he upset about, Merlin?”

Merlin looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him and the world to disappear around him. Arthur couldn’t blame him seeing as he felt pretty fucking similarly. 

“I thought it was only fair to tell you - and please don’t be mad at them, they were only trying to protect you and they had no way of knowing I was awake-”

“What was he upset about?” Arthur asked, far more sternly this time.

“He was upset because he thought Gwaine almost outed you. Because he almost let me know that you’re gay.” 

Neither of them spoke for a minute. Arthur knew logically that he shouldn’t panic; Merlin was gay too and therefore it was pretty bloody unlikely that he was a homophobe. Would he find out about Arthur’s crush on him? God, Arthur hoped not. It was one thing to figure out that the Prince of Wales was gay. To find out he had a crush on you? Well, that was an entirely different one. 

Above all, what did it mean that he was so stressed over his gay friend finding out? He was going to have to tell the whole world in two fucking months! This didn’t bode well. 

“I’m sorry, Arthur. I swear that I never meant to know.”

“Gwaine and Leon,” he said, “do they know you know? Did they not tell me?”

“No! No, I swear they have no idea. I was going to talk to one of them but I figured you had the right to find out directly from me and not one of them. I didn’t want to be a coward.”

Arthur nodded. 

“I…appreciate that.”

“Can I do anything for you? I know it’s difficult to be outed and if there’s anything you need, I’m here. I can-”

“I think I’d like to be alone, actually.”

Arthur found he was having a hard time making any facial expression except one of solemn neutrality. Merlin looked hurt and he wanted to assure him that he wasn’t mad and that it wasn’t at all his fault, he couldn’t muster the strength to do so.

“Oh. Okay. I’ll just…go then.” He stood and went to the door. Right before he stepped out he turned back and said, “I’m sorry, Arthur.”

He must have sat there for hours because the next thing Arthur knew, Gwaine was barging into the room, freshly showered and wrapped in a towel. 

“You missed a good match, mate. You better heal up fast or- Arthur? What’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” Shaking himself out of his revery, Arthur looked up at him. “Sorry, I was distracted.”

“Arthur, what’s going on?” he asked, sitting down on the prince’s bed. Arthur didn’t even bother to ridicule him for sitting on his sheets in only a towel.

“Nothing.”

“Arthur, come on.”

“Merlin knows.”

“Knows what?”

“That I’m gay.”

“Oh. Well, that’s great. Good on you for being able to tell him,” Gwaine said happily. “Seriously, I’m impressed. I know you have-”

“I didn’t tell him.” 

“What? What do you mean? I swear to god, I’ll beat the shit out of them if they did it without your permission. Who told him?”

“You.”

“Sorry? Me?”

“You and Leon,” Arthur responded, finally looking directly at Gwaine, his voice filled with poorly concealed anger. “He wasn’t asleep the other day when you were talking about it.”

“He- fuck. Fuck, Arthur, I’m so sorry. We didn’t mean to, mate. You know neither of us - none of us - would ever do that on purpose. Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know.”

“Seriously-”

“I said ‘I know,’ Gwaine!” Arthur snapped. “I know you’re bloody sorry but that doesn’t change anything does it? It’s only a matter of time before he figures out…” he trailed off.

“Figures out what?”

“Never mind.”

“Figures out that you like him?”

“I do  _ not  _ like-”

“Arthur, I’m not an idiot. It’s okay. I’m pretty sure he likes you too. Did he tell you about-”

“Yes, but that’s about kissing that’s not about-” Arthur interrupted himself again, huffing. “Look, Gwaine, I don’t want to talk about this right now. Just leave me alone for a while, all right? I want to be alone.”

“Mate, you know that’s not good for you when you’re like this.”

“I don’t care! And you’re the last company I want right now,” he seethed.” 

Arthur turned onto his side and didn’t look back at Gwaine. He eventually heard him get up and the sound of drawers opening and closing. Once he was obviously dressed, the door opened and Arthur heard one last sigh before it closed again. 

Chilly, Arthur got under the covers and waited for sleep to come, knowing full well that when it did, it wouldn’t be a pleasant one.

“Arthur? Arthur.” 

The door creaked open and light flooded into the dark room. As soon as the door closed and it went away, the blinds were opened and it was back. 

“Go away, Lance,” Arthur groaned. “I’m sleeping.”

“Yes, well, you’ve been sleeping for the past six hours. You need to get up and eat something. Did you take your medicine today?”

“Yes. I’m not hungry.” 

“Oh well. Come on, mate, just a little something. I’ll even bring you a piece of dry toast if you’d like but you can’t be on an empty stomach right now.” 

“I’m not. I’m still full from breakfast.”

“No you’re not, Arthur. You have the most ridiculous metabolism of anyone I’ve ever met bar Percival and you need to eat. Either get up or let me bring you something.”

“Go away.”

“No. Look,” Lance sighed and Arthur felt a weight on the mattress as he sat, “I heard what happened and I’m sorry; it’s horrible, but you know we’re all here for you, right? And that he doesn’t actually care?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh well. Gwaine and Leon are beside themselves with guilt, by the way. Doesn’t mean you have to forgive them right now but I thought you should know. Gwaine and I are going to swap rooms for the night.” 

“You don’t need to stay here. I can be alone, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“It’s not babysitting and you’re not being alone. Would you prefer Galahad sit in here all night?” Arthur didn’t respond. “That’s what I thought.”

“It’s four o’clock now. I’ll go get you some food and if you’re not out of bed by five, Percival is going to drag you out.”

“Why?” Arthur questioned. “I’m done with my homework and there’s nothing I need to do. Just leave me alone.”

“You’re going to get up and shower and let your friends take care of you. You don’t have to see Merlin.”

“Mm.”

“Or Gwaine or Leon for that matter, if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t care if I see Gwaine and Leon, I just don’t want to get up.”

“I know you don’t, mate, but it’s important and you know that deep down. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Lance left and Arthur tried to get himself up. He successfully turned himself onto his other side so he was now facing the rest of the room.

He hadn’t realized how much time had passed when the door opened again.

“Arthur?” Lance called, peaking in. “Everybody’s here. Can we come in?”

“Everybody?”

“Don’t worry, Merlin’s at work.” 

“Okay.” 

The door opened all the way and his friends shuffled in shyly, sitting around the room. 

“Arthur-”

“It’s fine, Leon. You didn’t mean to and you were just looking out for me.”

“But-”

“It’s fine. Both of you.” 

Leon smiled at him appreciatively and Gwaine gave a short nod. Percival’s gaze was on him. 

“What?”

“Do you want help, mate?”

“What could I possibly need help with?” 

Gwaine rolled his eyes.

“Stop being all HRH for a second, will you?” Leon ordered not unkindly. “Do you need help getting up?” 

Arthur sighed. It was nice to have friends who knew him so well and were so supportive but sometimes he just wanted to sulk in solitude. Of course, those were the times when it was especially important for him to be around others but in the moment Arthur never cared. 

Leon always made sure he knew that they didn’t expect him to act a certain way or to say certain things - they would always be there for him - and he was a shoulder to cry on on the rare occasions Arthur allowed himself to cry. Percival always offered to help him with the things he couldn’t do on his own and there was never any judgement when he did. Gwaine always acted like he was treating him normally and that morning was happening. They both knew it wasn’t true but Gwaine’s normalcy (however fake it may be) usually helped to make Arthur feel human. And Lance? Well Lance always knew what he needed to be told. There was a time for comfort and a time to call Arthur on his bullshit and to force him to do the things he needed to do to help himself feel better. 

Arthur was very grateful for all his friends’ help and affection, though sometimes it made him feel weird. With the exception of those two occasions during the last few weeks, Uther rarely showed him any comfort or gave him any praise unless he met his father’s seemingly unmeetable expectations. Morgana gave him comfort when he needed it but it was almost always accompanied by sarcasm and teasing. She had a lot of trouble letting her defenses down and being vulnerable. Arthur secretly treasured the rare times she did. He had known Leon for most of his life, but had never let him help until a few years ago.

Arthur could not articulate how his friends trying to take care of him made him feel. Even when it momentarily pissed him off, he knew deep down how lucky he was. It had taken them three years, but they convinced him to see someone about his depression. Arthur had been in denial about it for a long time because he had thought it made him weak. He knew better now, and he had been seeing his psychiatrist for four years.

He hadn’t been in therapy for a while (his last therapist having retired) and the doctor wanted him to go back, but at least he was on medication. It wasn’t a panacea, but it certainly made things easier, especially when he worked for it. 

Sometimes though, it couldn’t be avoided. Often his depression got worse at random intervals, but occasionally there was a reason. With all the stress of the last few weeks, it was a wonder this hadn’t happened sooner.

“I don’t need help, just give me a minute.”

“And-”

“And I’ll go shower, Lance, I promise.”

“Eat this first.” 

He reluctantly ate the slice of toast he was given, though it was a challenge to get through those last few bites. Gwaine started complaining about a teacher to get rid of the uncomfortable silence. Arthur day and listened to his friends talk. When he felt his eyes threatening to close again, he stood up and walked down the hall, followed by his friends. 

The most annoying thing they did was refuse to let him shower alone when he was like this. No, they didn’t go in with him or anything weird like that but someone (usually multiple someones or all of them) sat around on the benches in the shower area while he washed. Arthur understood why they did this - he wasn’t an idiot - but he felt it to be entirely unnecessary.

The shower was warm and it was a nice sort of white noise to listen to his mates chat, voices muffled by the sound of water falling around him. After he dried off, he got directly into pajamas and went back under the covers. Nobody had come back into the room with him but Leon was there. 

Apparently he hadn’t been there the whole time Arthur was showering, because there were fresh sheets on the bed. Leon must have gotten them from his drawers. It was very thoughtful. He often did this and Arthur always forgot the next time, too caught up in his depression. He thought there was nothing better than getting into a freshly made bed after a shower, and Arthur was inclined to agree.

“Thanks, mate.” 

“Of course.”

“I’m going to get some sleep.”

“I figured. I know you’re fine with me and Gwaine now but Lance’s stuff is already here so he’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Okay.”

“Good night then.” Leon went to the door. 

“Leon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. You guys don’t have to do this but you do, so…thanks.”

It got a soft smile out of him. 

“Don’t be stupid, Arthur, but you’re welcome.” 

He left and the last thing Arthur remembered was the soft voices of his friends and Mithian outside the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Merlin tells Arthur that he knows he’s gay, Arthur gets mad at Gwaine and Leon but quickly gets over it. Arthur falls into a depressive episode that was a long time coming and his friends support him. The chapter ends the same evening.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been an awkward week and Merlin is ready for it to be over.

The week felt like it was both incredibly quick and agonizingly slow. Merlin hardly saw or spoke to Arthur except for a few awkward hellos in the corridor. Well, okay,  _ Merlin _ gave awkward hellos, Arthur just gave stiff nods in return. 

His other friends said not to worry about it but Merlin always was a worrier. He chose not sit with them during meals because he had no desire to make Arthur more uncomfortable than he already was. He hoped this would blow over soon and they could go back to the way things had been but he doubted that would happen. Merlin knew he had made the right choice to tell Arthur in the long run, but for now he was miserable and could tell that Arthur was too. 

And to make things worse it was family weekend. There was no way his mum would have been able to come so Merlin hadn’t bothered to ask. Why make her feel bad when he didn’t have to? She already had enough on her plate to worry about. 

So now it was Friday and he was on shift at the coffee shop. He didn’t mind, especially because Gwen was working too, but it was difficult when people he recognized from around campus came in with parents or siblings. Merlin felt a little selfish thinking that way but he couldn’t help it. He knew he should be grateful he was here and realize that his mum had to stay home for a reason - there wasn’t the money for a weekend trip right now (Merlin couldn’t recall a time where there ever was).

Gwen sometimes knew him better than he knew himself and had invited him to sleepover Saturday night. She said she would happily have him the whole weekend but was going over to a classmate’s house that evening to work on a group project. He had accepted because he loved Gwen and because he would do anything to get away from campus right now. 

He was just handing off lattes to a seventh year and his mum when the bell on the door chimed, signaling a new customer had entered. Merlin hardly registered it; it rang every few minutes today what with all the people in town. 

“Merlin, could you serve the next customer?” Gwen called. “I’m busy.” 

He saw she was battling the espresso machine and took pity on her. 

Walking to the register, he said, “I’m Merlin, what can I- oh.”

Standing in front of him was Arthur, wrapped in a soft looking maroon jumper and a fancy blue scarf. Merlin rarely met a person he thought could pull off a beanie but Arthur apparently could. At least it wasn’t one of the ones that hung off the back of his head. Merlin didn’t think he could deal with a hipster prince. 

He swallowed his surprise and cleared his throat.

“Hi Arthur.”

“Hi,” he said. Arthur was holding himself stiffly and looked decidedly uncomfortable. 

“What can I get for you?” 

“Why have you been avoiding me all week?” 

Oh. That wasn’t at all what Merlin had expected. Was Arthur not also avoiding him?

“I…I thought you would be more comfortable if I wasn’t around for a little while.” He tried not to peel the sheet covering the cheap countertop but his hands needed something to do. “I figured it would be best to give you some time. And weren’t you avoiding me too?”

“No,” Arthur said, “I thought you were uncomfortable around me.”

“Why would I be? Arthur, I’m…” he trailed off because they both knew what he meant. Arthur nodded once. 

“Yes, but I thought you- never mind.”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“Look, I-”

“Merlin? What’s the hold up?” Gwen walked over. “Oh. Hi Arthur.”

“Guinevere,” Arthur greeted and leaned over the counter to kiss her cheek, “Good to see you.” 

Merlin sputtered. 

“What, you two know each other?”

Arthur looked confused. 

“Have you not told him?”

Gwen sighed and looked at Merlin. 

“When I lived in London my mother worked for Leon’s mother. I was at his house all the time and Morgana and I became best friends.”

“You- what? I’m sorry, what?” None of this was processing.  _ Gwen _ used to be best friends with the goddamn princess?

She giggled at him. 

“What was I supposed to do? Tell  _ Will  _ that I’m friends with the Pendragons? You think that would go over well? No offense, Arthur.”

“None taken,” he assured, smirking. “I’ve heard about Will and I’d also pretend not to know Morgana if I could.” 

Gwen shoved him playfully. Merlin had to shake his head quickly several times to reorient himself, like characters in cartoons did. Had Gwen really just shoved the Prince of Wales? And he was laughing? 

“Stop it, Arthur, you know you love her. Is she feeling better today? I haven’t had a chance to speak with her since last night.”

“ _ What _ ?” 

“Marginally, I think. She says she’s feeling much better but we both know that’s a lie. She’s always dramatic until something dramatic actually happens.”

“Reminds me of her brother,” she teased. Arthur rolled his eyes. The bell jingled again and Gwen sighed. “Now order something or get out.” 

He gave her a little salute as she walked away. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He turned back to Merlin, who was still partially frozen in shock. 

“What just happened?”

“I said hello to my friend. Can I get a large black coffee?”

“Wait, go back.”

“It’s like a coffee but in a large cup.”

“Shut up, you know that’s not what I meant. Did you-” The man behind Arthur cleared his throat pointedly. Merlin deflated. “Fine, whatever. Four pounds thirty.”

Arthur fished out his wallet and handed Merlin a tenner.

“We should talk. What time are you done? I can wait.” 

The offer made Merlin’s heart melt a little bit. The idea that Arthur cared that much about their friendship as to be willing to sit in a coffee shop for as long as it took to speak to him gave Merlin butterflies. He almost accepted, selfishly, but then he noticed Galahad off to the right and behind Arthur and two other agents standing outside. He reluctantly shook his head. 

“Don’t make poor Galahad nervous. I’ll meet you back at our rooms, yeah? I’m off at seven.” 

“Good then.” 

Arthur went to the other end of the counter to wait for his drink while Merlin took the next customer’s order. Gwen made that while Merlin made Arthur’s. 

Black coffee was absolutely disgusting and there was no way he was giving that to Arthur. He probably drank it because it was proper or whatever. Had he ever had the chance to try something sugary that made teeth rot?

“Here you go,” he said, handing Arthur his drink a few minutes later. 

“Cheers.” Arthur took a sip and made a confused, disgusted noise. “What the hell is that?” 

“Cookie dough frappe with whipped cream.” 

“I ordered a black coffee.” 

“Yes,” Merlin agreed, “But seeing as you clearly came here just to see  _ me _ -”

“I didn’t.”

“I figured you wouldn’t really care if you didn’t get it. Plus, you look like you’ve never tried something like this before. Don’t want to look bad or unsophisticated or something stupid like that. Everybody should drink something terrible for you occasionally.”

“Merlin, you idiot. Just give me what I ordered.”

“Try it.”

“I already did,” Arthur pointed out. 

“Yeah, but that’s when you were expecting black coffee. Try it for real,” he demanded. Arthur rolled his eyes but did as he was told. It was easy to see that even though he was trying to hate it and had expected to hate it, that Arthur thoroughly enjoyed the sugary monstrosity. Merlin grinned.

“It’s…not horrible,” he admitted.

“Ah ha! So I was right and you were wrong.”

“Hardly.”

“Say it. Say ‘Merlin, you were right and I was wrong and I sincerely apologize.’” 

Arthur glared at him and walked away and out the door without a response. Merlin smiled and got back to work, feeling much better than he had all week. 

  
  


It only occurred to Merlin on his walk back to his room that Arthur was alone too. It made sense that the king hadn’t been able to come to family weekend but he vaguely remembered someone mentioning something about- oh. Morgana. Poor Arthur. Well, they could be lonely together. Leon and Gwaine were both planning to stay in hotels with their family; Merlin and Arthur would both have empty rooms.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and picked it up without checking the caller id. 

“Hello?” 

_ “Merlin?” _

“Hi Mum.” 

_ “Merlin.”  _ She sounded frazzled and Merlin started to worry. 

“Mum, is everything okay? Are you all right?”

_ “I’m fine, dear. When are you going to be home? I’m going to start dinner soon.” _

Merlin took the phone away from his face, just for a second, so that he could take a deep breath and try to stop himself from crying. 

“I’m at school, Mum, remember? I go to Camlann Academy now.”

_ “Oh, of course!” _ she said casually.  _ “Sorry, dear, my mind went blank.”  _ Hunith laughed at herself like it was in any way funny.

“Do you need me to come home?”

_ “No, no, I’m fine! Don’t worry about me. When’s your next break?” _

__ “Christmas, Mum. I’ll be home on the twenty-third. Of December,” he tacked on, just to be safe. 

_ “Well, that’ll be lovely. Listen, dear, I’ve got to run. Was there anything you needed?” _

__ “No, Mum,” he choked out. “You phoned me, remember?”

_ “Yes, right. Well, I should make dinner so I’ll talk to you soon, all right?” _

__ “All right. Make more than just for yourself, okay? Will and Freya are going to join you for dinner.”

_ “They are? That’s great, Merlin; I’ll be glad to see them. You take care. I love you.” _

__ “I love you too. Bye.”

When Hunith hung up Merlin let out a single, painful sob.  _ I should be there,  _ he thought.  _ It’s my job to be there. _ He quickly got himself under control and dialed Will. 

_ “Merlin! How are you, mate?” _

“Will, Mum just phoned me and asked when I’d be home.”

_ “December, right?”  _

“No, I mean she rang to ask when I’d be home for dinner.” 

_ “Shit. Are you okay?” _

__ “I’m fine,” he lied, sniffling. “Can you and Freya go over for dinner? I’ll ring her in a minute.”

_ “I’ll tell her, don’t worry about that. Of course we’ll go.” _

__ “Just make sure she’s eating and taking her medicine.”

_ “Yeah.” _

“See if she’s got enough in.”

_ “We will.” _

“And-”

_ “Merlin,” _ Will cut him off,  _ “we’ve done this before and we know what we’re doing, yeah? Relax.” _

__ Merlin let out a wet laugh. 

“We both know how likely that is. Can you do me another favor and look in her purse? I know you won’t be able to check the bank account but I can do that tomorrow. See if she needs me to send more right away, yeah?”

_ “I will but I’m pretty sure it’s fine. Listen, I was over for breakfast two days ago, Merls. I watched her take her medicine and the pillbox was empty where it should be. She’s taking it - or at least she was as of two days ago.” _

__ “Okay, good. I just worry.” He kicked a rock idly. 

_ “I know you do, but you’ve also got to remember she’s a grown arse woman and she can take care of herself.” _

__ “But she can’t and you know that so please don’t try to make me feel better by bullshitting me.” He heard Will say and instantly felt a little guilty. He sighed too. “Sorry, I know you’re just trying to help. All you and Freya ever try to do is help and I’m…I’m really grateful. You don’t have to be doing this and-”

_ “Shut up, will you? We both love you and we both love her so stop feeling like you’re forcing us into anything we don’t want to do. We’d do the same thing even if you weren’t around.” _

__ The wind in Merlin’s face made it harder to hear but it also made it harder to see that he was crying so that was positive. Still, he had tears running down his face and received several concerned and confused looks from the people he passed.

“I know. Thank you.”

_ “Oh my god, stop thanking me. You’re so annoying.” _

Merlin laughed and wiped the last tear away.

“All right, all right. Text me later and let me know what happens.”

_ “Yep. Love you, mate,”  _ he said, and Merlin smiled. Will rarely said that first and it made him happy to hear.

“I love you too.”

When Merlin got back to his room he took the time to shower and get the smell of coffee off of his skin and out of his hair. It wasn’t that he hated the smell (on the contrary, he loved it), he just had no desire to make it his cologne. He tried his best to not think about his mother, which only left him with Arthur and that was not that much easier to think about. 

Afterwards, he got into joggers and a pullover and made his way to Arthur’s room, thanking every deity he could think that Galahad was on duty and not Mithian. “Come in!” Arthur called. He was sitting criss cross on the bed with his laptop, typing. “Sorry,” he said, closing it, “I was just working on an essay.” 

“Don’t be. Should I…” he trailed off awkwardly and Arthur nodded. 

“Wherever you’d like.” 

Merlin wasn’t sure what compelled him to sit at the end of the bed instead of literally anywhere else but it was too late to go back. Arthur seemed to relax a little bit though, so maybe it was the right choice. 

“So…”

“So?”

“I’m sorry about the other day. I never meant to…I thought you would want to know that I know.”

“I did,” Arthur responded, nodding, “I’m glad you told me.”

“You are?”

“Of course. I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about the whole situation but I’d rather know, so thank you.”

“For what?”

“Doing the right thing.”

“Oh.”

“There’s something else I should tell you,” Arthur said and Merlin felt his stomach twist into knots. Did Arthur not want to be his friend anymore because of this? That didn’t exactly seem fair. Merlin needed to be relational; jumping to that conclusion was  _ not  _ rational. 

“Okay,” he said as calmly as he could. “What is it?”

“It’s…well, you’re my friend and this is going to be a lot of my life for the next few months so…” Arthur sighed and rubbed his eyes for a second or two.

“It’s okay, Arthur. You can tell me anything.” Merlin put his hand on Arthur’s without even realizing until Arthur flinched away. Fuck. “Oh, sorry, I-”

“It’s fine.” He clearly wanted to ignore it so Merlin nodded and let him. “A little over a month ago I was a little drunk at a party and I kissed a guy.”

“Okay?”

“It turns out someone took a picture and now I have until the new year to come out publicly or I’m going to be outed.” 

Merlin took a second to process what he had just heard. What the actual fuck? Who would do that to a child? He was being forced to come out? Holy fuck. 

“Arthur, I’m so sorry. That’s bullshit.”

“It’s fine.”

“It isn’t.”

“No, but I’d really prefer not to talk about that piece right now if it’s all the same to you.” He didn’t say it in a bitting or sarcastic way and Merlin knew that if he legitimately wanted to talk about it then Arthur would. He was a lot more self-sacrificial than Merlin would have ever expected a prince to be. 

“Of course. So how does that work? Sorry if it’s insensitive but if someone has the picture…”

“Why haven’t they just published it?” Arthur finished for him. Merlin nodded. “My father promised them they’d get the only interview I would do on it for six months. There’s more money to be made that way. They’ll own any clips of me talking about it and any other show that wants to play them will have to pay.”

“What show would do that? That’s sick.”

“Plenty of them. But not just the awful people, also the ones who will support me,” he explained. “Panel shows, and Graham Norton, and Jonathan Ross - that sort of thing. And not just in the UK, either.” 

“Oh. That makes sense, I guess. I mean, obviously it doesn’t make sense but it makes sense.”

“I know what you mean,” Arthur assured him. “I’m not offended. Anyway, I thought you should know. I’m going to address the nation on December twenty-third and that will be that.” Arthur sounded a lot more casual than he looked. It was obvious he didn’t actually think that _ “that will be that.” _

“Fuck, Arthur. Do you know what you’re going to say yet?”

“Not really.” He shrugged. “My father has me working with a speech writer and a couple of PR people but right now it’s up in the air.”

“Why didn’t you just deny that it was you and wait for it to blow over? Or say it was photoshopped or something?”

“It’s very obviously me and there are ways to prove photos are authentic. Besides, if I’m going to be outed I’m going to do it myself. And…and this might be arrogant but I think I could maybe do some good, you know?”

“Yeah.” 

“You don’t think that’s arrogant?”

“Things can be arrogant and right at the same time.” 

Arthur snorted. 

“They really can’t be; that’s not how words work, Merlin.”

“Whatever.”

They sat quietly for a minute, Arthur picking at a thread on his quilt and Merlin staring at the picture on Arthur’s desk. It was of him and their friends and Morgana, and Merlin felt his crush become bigger just by seeing it there. Arthur seemed like the type of guy who pretended not to be sentimental but really was. 

“It’s really brave of you, you know.” 

“Hmm?” Arthur brought his eyes back up and locked eyes with Merlin. 

“It’s really brave of you to be able to do this. You  _ will  _ do some good - lots of it, I think - and I’m proud to call myself your friend,” he said earnestly. Arthur gave him a shy smile. 

“Thank you, Merlin, that means a lot. Truly.” 

“Do you want to talk about something else? I mean, I don’t mind talking about this but I imagine you’ve talked about it a lot lately and-”

“God, yes. Want to get drunk?”

“Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I want to thank you for all your support while I’m writing this. It truly means a lot and I’m very lucky to have readers like you.
> 
> If you’re bored and looking for something to read, I just published a new one shot and I’d be honored if you went and checked it out. I can’t promise it’s good but hey, it’s quarantine and I was bored so I wrote it. 
> 
> Have a nice day! Stay safe, stay inside, and wash your hands!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Olivia work on getting him ready, and he learns about another piece of Merlin’s already complicated life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a warning, there is an allusion to rape in this chapter but it’s never explicit and has nothing to do with any of the characters. 
> 
> Also, this is unedited because I’m tired and I want to post it. Apologies.

Arthur woke up with a pounding headache. He felt nauseous and like he might vomit at a moment’s notice. Normally, he would get himself up as soon as possible, take some paracetamol and drink coffee. Today, however, he felt a comfortable weight leaning against his back and he didn’t want to move. He heard a groan and his eyes shot open as soon as he realized what the weight was. 

“Arthur?” Merlin slurred. “What happened?” 

Arthur extracted himself from the bed and went to get the medicine, trying to look casual and like he wasn’t freaking the fuck out because he had shared a bed with his crush.

“We fell asleep before you went back to your room. Here.” He offered a bottle of water and two pills. Merlin sat up and took them from him gratefully while Arthur went to get his own. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to.” Arthur shrugged. 

“I don’t care. Doesn’t make a difference to me.”

“Oh. Good then. I should probably go have a shower.”

“Right.”

“Thanks for the booze.” 

“Anytime; just don’t tell Gwaine that I still have any.”

Merlin smiled awkwardly and left. Why did it feel awkward? Hadn’t they just fixed that last night? Arthur knew, of course, that if we because they had shared a bed. Would this mean that Merlin would be uncomfortable around him for a while? Had he figured out that Arthur was absolutely infatuated with him? Hopefully not.

Just then, his open computer chimed and signaled and incoming Facetime. It was Olivia. Was it already eight-thirty? Good thing he had woken up naturally, because Arthur had completely forgotten he had planned to speak with her. He quickly ran his hands through his hair, trying to look presentable, and sat to answer.

“Good morning, your- is you look like shit.”

Over the last few weeks he and Olivia had developed a sudo-friendship. Arthur liked her a lot. She was funny, understanding, and sharp as a tack. She wasn’t afraid to tell him if she thought he was being stupid or irrational (which, admittedly, he had occasionally been lately).

Another reason Arthur liked her was because even people he had been friendly with for months would never swear around him, be it because they thought he would be offended or because they thought of him as too innocent. The first time Lance swore around him had been about six months into their friendship and had looked nervous when he realized. The second time Gwaine had ever spoken to Arthur he used at least a dozen curses.

“I know. Good morning to you too.”

“What happened?” Olivia asked. He shrugged. 

“I got drunk last night and I just woke up.”

“Ugh, I’m jealous. I would  _ love  _ a margarita right now. Okay, so let’s talk about the interview.” 

“Really?” Arthur groaned. “Do we have to do this so early?”

“It’s not early, Arthur; there’s only forty-one days until it airs. Come on, let’s just do some practice questions.”

“Fine.”

“I have some ones we think they might ask.”

“Wait, what? They’re not going to be pre-approved.”

“No.” She shook her head sadly. “That wasn’t part of the deal, according to them.”

“What if I don’t want to answer something they ask?”

“Well, you don’t have to, but they might choose to leave your refusal in so it’s probably best to have some borrowing answers ready just in case.” 

“Fine,” he huffed. “Let’s just get it over with.” Olivia looked at him with concern in her eyes and it made him feel like he had offended her. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not your fault.”

“I’m not upset about that, Arthur, I just wish this wasn’t happening. Anyway,” she pushed on, likely aware that Arthur would have no interest in that discussion, “Sophia suggested that we start out simple but I personally think it’s best to start with the worst questions right off the bat; the other ones will seem like a breeze that way. Plus, it gives you more time.”

“All right. I can’t promise I’ll have good answers,” Arthur warned.

“That’s why it’s called practice. I don’t expect you to have good answers right away. I’m going to be recording, by the way. The connection is secure but I wanted to let you know that we’d probably be reviewing this.” Arthur sighed but nodded and gestured for her to start.

“Your highness, don’t you think the people of the United Kingdom deserve a future king that is born of a queen and not a random surrogate?”

“Jesus, Olivia!”

“Hey, I’m sorry!” She threw her hands up. “These are awful people! You have to be prepared for the worst.”

“Fine. I intend to have children. In the twenty-first century there are certainly ways for homosexuals to have children such as a surrogate, like you said, or adoption. I don’t think that adopted children are less their parents’ children than biological children are and I don’t appreciate the implication that people born into rank are inherently better.” 

“Don’t say that.”

“Which part?”

“Most of it.”

“Why? It’s all true. That’s what the question implies.”

“Yes, but you can’t play offense when you’re already struggling to play defense. Look,” she said. Arthur heard her drop the pen she was holding onto her legal pad. “You can say the thing about gay people have kids through surrogates or adoption but don’t turn it around on them. Don’t ever imply the interviewer has said something offensive, because that makes it look like you’re deflecting.”

“But it  _ was  _ offensive.”

“People aren’t dumb, Arthur. Come on, have some faith. The audience are going to understand that it’s offensive, they don’t need your help.”

He rolled his eyes, even though he knew that she was correct. Was the whole thing going to be like this? Four days after he does the hardest thing he has ever had to do he is going to have to sit down and be berated for ninety minutes? He supposed he should have expected that. 

Apparently Olivia could tell what he was thinking. 

“This isn’t meant to be easy, Arthur,” she said gently. “You’re going to be bullshited for the next month so I’m going to be the person who gives it to you straight. In the days leading up to the interview, people are going to tell you that after you made the announcement that the interview will be a price of cake. Guess what? It won’t, it will be harder. Coming out wouldn’t be scary if afterwards you never had to talk to anyone ever again.

“There are going to be moments sitting in that chair when you have no idea what the right thing to say is, no matter how prepared you are. You’re going to feel sick to your stomach the whole time.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I felt that way.” Arthur stopped slouching. 

“You’re-”

“Gay, yes.”

“And that’s how you felt when you came out?”

“Yeah.”

“And that’s how it’s going to feel for me?”

“Probably not,” she told him. “I mean, everybody is different but I came out to my family and not the entire world. Plus, they supported me and it’s a guarantee that there will be people who don’t support you. I’m sorry,” she said when he cringed, “I just don’t want to make you think it’s going to be easier than it will be. It’s better in the long run to know what you’re up against.”

“Still…”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, let’s continue. I’m ready,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Olivia looked skeptical.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay.” She glanced down at her pad. “Don’t you think the people had a right to know earlier?”

“No,” he replied. “I sincerely apologize if anybody feels betrayed but, like anybody else, coming out was a decision I had to make for myself, at the time that I was ready.”

“But you’re  _ not _ anybody else, are you?”

“No, but I’m still a person.”

“A person who has a duty to his country..”

“As we all do.”

“But yours is different. One aspect of it is providing an heir.”

“I recognize what my job is but I also know that the most effective way I can serve my country is to be true to myself. Like I said, I do plan on having children.”

“Will they be yours biologically?”

“I can’t promise that. What I can promise is that they will be my children in the same way my sister and I are my father’s children.” 

Olivia smiled softly and nodded. 

“Good.”

  
  


A few hours later, Arthur was working on homework when the door opened. 

“Arthur!” Gwaine greeted him as he walked in with his father behind him. Arthur stood and shook Gwaine’s father’s hand. 

“Good to see you, your grace.”

“Likewise, your highness,” he teased. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thank you, sir.”

“And how’s Morgana?”

“Stronger every day.”

“Glad to hear it. We’re just here because Gwaine forgot to actually bring his homework and my wife is going to have a conniption if he doesn’t do it.” Arthur chuckled politely. “I came up to say hi, Arthur. I hope to see you soon.” He turned to leave. Gwaine, hurry up.” 

Gwaine gathered his bag and mouthed “sorry” to Arthur before he left. Arthur collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. He absolutely hated interactions with Gwaine’s parents. Actually, he hated to interact with more of his friends’ parents. It was awkward with the Greens because, unlike their son, they put a lot of stock into propriety. With Lance’s and Percival’s parents it was weird because they weren’t sure how to act around him. He got on very well with Leon’s mum, however; probably because they had known each other since he was four. He also really liked Gwen’s father but she was and had been much closer to Morgana than Arthur and so he never interacted with him much. He did remember that he treated the Pendragon siblings pretty normally and he always liked that. 

Arthur wondered idly if he would get on with Merlin’s parents. Hopefully he would meet them at some point. And Will. It seemed like it would be a lot of fun to take the mickey out of Will.

Suddenly, Arthur heard a scream outside of his door and rushed to open it. When he did, he saw a concerned looking Mithian and Galahad knocking on Merlin’s door. 

“What’s happening? I heard a scream.”

Mithian turned to him, face flushed with fury and eyes like daggers. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What? What did I do?”

“You heard a scream and you decided the thing to do was leave your secure room.”

“I-”

“Don’t do it again.” She turned back to the door and nudged Galahad out of the way. His knocking had apparently not been effective enough for her. She started banging on it. “Emrys! Open up! Let’s go!” After another ten seconds or so of banging, the door swung open to reveal Merlin. It was clear that he had just stopped crying a few seconds earlier. 

“What the fuck?” he yelled in a tone that would scare even the likes of Uther Pendragon. “What the actual fuck?”

“We heard a female scream.”

“I was on the phone.”

“It was loud.”

“It was on speakerphone,” he explained. “Can you go away now?” 

“Let me in,” Mithian demanded. 

“What? Why?” 

“Because there was a female scream coming from your room and you’re not female.” She shoved past Merlin and into his bedroom. Galahad blocked Merlin from going after her. 

“Hey! Stop it! You don’t have the right to- why are you looking under my bed? There’s nothing there.”

Arthur swallowed. He wanted to reach out and hold Merlin’s hand. He would surely understand what it is Mithian was looking for in a minute but for now he seemed to be in shock. Why was he in shock? And who had been screaming?

Mithian went to open his closet. 

“Why are- oh.” It appeared he finally got it. “You think-”

“Thought,” Mithian clarified. “Or, well, realized it was a potentiality. You’re good. Is everything okay? Who was on the phone?” 

Merlin sputtered. Galahad let him through and Arthur followed. 

“No! You don’t get to act concerned after you thought that!”

“Merlin, I was just doing my job.”

“Your job is to protect Arthur.”

“Merlin,” she said gently. “I had to check.”

Merlin deflated and sat down on the edge of his bed. He put his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands before nodding. 

“I wouldn’t ever think that about you, but I can’t  _ not  _ check.” 

“I know. Sorry, I’m just…sorry.”

“Don’t be. We’ll leave you alone.” She and Galahad left, closing the door behind them.

Arthur remained, standing awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. 

“I can go too if you want,” he offered. Merlin looked up at him and smiled weakly. 

“No, that’s all right. Stay. I mean, if you want to.”

Arthur sat down on the bed next to Merlin and waited for him to speak. It was silent for a few minutes until Merlin sighed and sat up. 

“I have to call her back.”

“Call who back?”

“My mum. It was her on the phone.”

“Is she okay? Was she hurt?”

“No, she-” he was cut off by his phone ringing. “Sorry, it’s Will, I have to-”

“Of course.”

“Will? Fuck, I’m so sorry. Yeah, people just heard and were banging on the door and it would have been worse to- right. Yeah. Is she- Let me talk to her. No, I mean- oh. Okay. Sure. Hi Freya.” 

Arthur obviously wasn’t able to follow the conversation because he could only hear half of it but it seemed to him that something disastrous had happened or was happening. 

“Can’t you put me on speaker? Well…no, of course. I understand. Yeah, priorities, right?” Merlin chuckled weakly and Arthur thought he might cry.

He shouldn’t be here; he should leave Merlin alone. But Merlin had told him to stay, and it was clear that he wanted, so he stayed.

“Tell her that I’m fine and that that’s not what happened. Should I- Freya- listen to me! Or you can keep talking over me, that works too.” Even in the midst of crisis Merlin Emrys was a wisearse. “Give thé phone back to him. Hi. Did she take- fuck! No, I’ll call him. No, I appreciate it but you know how he- yeah. I’ll call him and you call Gaius? Oh, great. Okay. Call me as soon as you- yeah. Love you too.” 

Merlin threw his phone down in the bed, picked up a pillow, and screamed into it. Then, with a teary smile, he looked to Arthur. 

“Sorry about that.”

“Merlin, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“My mum’s having an episode.”

“An episode?” he questioned. “An episode of what?” 

“She’s schizo.”

He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Arthur had been trained since birth in how to speak to people. He never made awkward small talk because he knew how to put people - even people he had never met - at ease in any situation. It helped him to shmooze and to tolerate the endless events he was dragged to. This time, however, he had no idea what he was supposed to say. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t,” Arthur assured, shaking his head. His friend looked skeptical. “Really, Merlin, it doesn’t.”

“Okay. Sorry, I have to call the doctor so…”

“Should I leave?” 

“I wouldn’t care but it’s not my information and it just feels-”

“Say no more.” Arthur stood. “I’m just across the hall if you need anything, all right?” 

“All right. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Back in his room, Arthur lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, unable to stop thinking about how unfair this all was to Merlin. Arthur had only known him for a month but he seemed like he had so much on his plate, so much to worry about; he didn’t need this too. Maybe it just seemed like another piece to Arthur because he hadn’t known. Maybe this was the cause of most of Merlin’s stress - it probably was. 

Arthur had the weight of the world on his shoulders but at times he was reminded that even though his life was laid out for him and he was expected to be perfect, he had it better than some. He was privileged and he was lucky.

Merlin was not. Merlin worked to feed and house himself and his mother, was picked on by his peers, and on top of all of that he had to take care of his mother beyond finances. Life hadn’t been very kind to Merlin but Arthur hoped it would turn around. He hoped that Merlin’s life would improve and that he could be carefree and happy all the time. He hoped that if that happened - or even if it didn’t - Arthur would always be in it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen is a perfect human being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a very short chapter for you. It’s got a tiny bit of angst but lots of fluff! I hope you enjoy it!

When Merlin arrived at Gwen’s Saturday evening, the door swung open just as he had been about to knock. He startled and so did Gwen and the girl next to her. 

“Oh my goodness,” she said, “you must be Merlin! I’ve heard so much about you!”

“You have?” he asked, confused. She nodded. 

“Of course! Gwen loves you!”

“Does she now?” he asked mockingly. Gwen ignored him. 

“Merlin, this is Lilly. She’s in my marine biology class and we were just working on an assignment together.”

“Nice to meet you, Lilly.” 

“You too. Bye, Gwen!” Lilly pulled her into a hug. “Thank you for having me!” 

“Of course. See you Monday?”

“Yep!” Then, surprisingly, she pulled Merlin into a hug too. He wasn’t sure what to do but before he could decide she let him go. “I’m so happy to finally meet you, Merlin. Bye!” And with that she ran down the stairs and practically skipped away. 

Merlin smirked at Gwen and she rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know. She’s nice, okay? I can’t help it if I talk to her about my other friends sometimes.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Just get in here.” She practically rugged him in the door and then closed it behind him. “So what’s wrong?”

“Why do you think something’s wrong?” He followed her to the kitchen for a cup of tea. 

“Because I’ve met you. Also, Freya and Will both separately texted me to tell me to look out for you.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. His friends meant well but they could be really annoying sometimes. 

“Nothing, okay? Mum had an incident this morning.”

“Oh?” Gwen asked him, playing the innocent. “What type of incident?”

“You know what type of incident.” 

“I do,” she admitted, nodding. 

“Then why did you ask?”

“Well, it just didn’t make sense to me because I seem to recall an agreement we made for you to always tell me about these things, hmm?” 

“Well,  _ I _ seem to recall an agreement we made for you to always tell me when you knew that I was going to school with royalty,” Merlin countered. She laughed. 

“Don’t try and deflect.”

“Fine, but we are going to talk about that at some point. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but I was busy.”

“Freya texted me at noon and it’s half four. You haven’t had an available second in the last four and a half hours?” 

“Gwen…”

“Merlin…” she mocked. 

“Look, can we just drop it?”

“We can drop that part, but tell me about Hunith. How is she?”

“How do you expect she is?” he snapped. He instantly regretted it, seeing Gwen’s chastised and hurt face. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. I know you didn’t…I’m sorry.” She places her hand over his reassuringly. 

“That’s okay.”

“Thanks. She thought I was in danger of some kind and she rang me panicking but then Arthur’s bodyguards heard her scream because I was an idiot and had it on speakerphone and they started banging on the door, which made her think I was  _ definitely  _ in danger. I told her I had to go and I was going to ring her but then Will got to me first and turns out he was already there with Freya and I just hadn’t known. I…I wanted to talk to her but she refused to speak to me,” he told her, aware that his voice was breaking.

“Oh, Merlin…”

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” he said sadly. “What do I do, Gwen? Please just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“You’re seventeen, sweetheart, not thirty and certainly not a doctor. There isn’t anything you can do beyond what you’re already doing.” The kettle whistled and she went to pour them both a cup while she continued speaking. “You work so hard for her all the time - and I don’t just mean with your job. Do you know how many other people would have given up by now? Not just people our age, people any age. Ill people are abandoned by their families all the time; it’s very sad, but that’s the truth.”

“I would never-”

“I know! I’m not saying you should. The people who do that are disgusting. Here, drink up. I know you’ll do anything for her.”

“I will.”

“Then I’m going to give you my suggestion - a suggestion you’re going to hate, because I know others have spoken to you about it and get the same response.”

“What?”

“There are places-”

“No!” Merlin stood up. “Absolutely not.”

“Merlin, just listen for a second. If you-”

“No, Gwen! I’m not putting her in a home! You just said I wouldn’t ever abandon her.”

“How is that abandoning her? How is giving her access to the support she needs twenty-four hours a day abandoning her? Look, you've done a fantastic job but you’re not a psychiatrist.”

“No! Even if I thought it was a good idea-”

“Which you  _ do _ think, deep down.”

“Even if I thought it was a good idea,” Merlin seethed, ignoring her, “I couldn’t afford anything like that.”

“Yes you could.”

“How?”

“You wouldn’t have to pay for groceries anymore, or your mortgage.”

“Why wouldn’t there still be a mortgage?”

“Because no one would be living in your house,” she explained, seemingly confused as to what he didn’t understand.

“I still have to go home; school isn’t year round.”

“Breaks are short. Stay with me or Gaius or even Will or Freya.”

“Gwen,” he said, choked up, “I can’t put my mother in a home. I just can’t.”

“You won’t see her any less.”

“I would during breaks.”

“You could visit every day. You barely see her during breaks anyway because you’re so busy working. It wouldn’t be that much of a change and you know it.”

He sighed and sat down. He hadn’t seriously considered this before. But now? He was out of ideas. Nothing seemed to work because there was no one around to help her. Gwen was right. Even when he was in Ealdor he was too busy to always be around her.

“Please…tell me you’ll think about it?” she pleaded. Merlin bit his lip and nodded. “Thank you.” She sounded relieved.

Around eleven, Merlin and Gwen were lying in her bed, giggling. Neither of them were quite sure what it was they were giggling about, but it had been happening on and off for a while. At around ten thirty, Elyan had even knocked on the door, opened it, and just stared at them angrily. 

“Leave us alone! We have the giggles!” Merlin had lectured, which just made Gwen giggle more. Elyan had rolled his eyes and left, closing the door a little too aggressively.

Merlin was thoroughly enjoying himself and, luckily enough, had managed to avoid the topic of Arthur all together. Gwen was usually pretty good at telling when he had a crush and what was he supposed to say if she asked? He couldn’t complain about how he always crushed on straight guys (which, up until then had been mostly true) and he couldn’t say he would ask him out (not something that he would ever do anyway) because that would out Arthur. There was no way Gwen didn’t know about his crush, so Merlin’s hope was that she just thought that he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

This was the kind of thing he appreciated. He loved being around his friends and not doing anything. Talking for hours about absolutely nothing was one of the greatest things to do, in Merlin’s opinion. 

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

“Hold on.” 

**Will**

**11:03 PM**

_ Freya picked up the new prescription today _

_ Sorry I forgot to text you earlier _

Thanks. And no worries

How is she doing?

_ Eh _

_ Back and forth  _

_ She’s been fine most of the day _

Good

_ I’m staying in your room tonight  _

You don’t have to do that

_ I sorta do _

_ Also _

_ I really don’t care  _

_ Stop thinking everything is an inconvenience _

_ You knob _

That’s me 

Thanks though 

_ Anytime _

_ Tell Gwen I say hi _

“Will says hi, Gwen.” 

“Tell Will I say ‘fuck off,’” she replied, laughing so hard tears escaped her eyes. Merlin joined her and they continued until their stomachs hurt. 

“It wasn’t even that funny,” Merlin said through his tears. 

“That’s what happens when you have the giggles!”

Gwen says “fuck off”

_ Cheers, Gwen _

_ I’m going to sleep _

No you’re not

It’s eleven

You never go to bed this early

_ All right fine I’m going to watch porn _

_ Are you happy? _

No! I’m not! You’re in my bed!

_ Relax _

_ I was joking _

_ God the thought of that makes me want to vomit _

You’re the worst 

Gn

_ Gn _

He showed Gwen what Will had said and she spiraled into laughter again. They kept laughing about this and that for at least another fifteen minutes until someone pounded on the door. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Elyan yelled. 

He should have known that would be a mistake; it made them laugh for another half hour. 


	20. Chapter Twenty

The next week went by in a blur of exams, speech writing, homework, interview prep, and football. While most of his friends were looking forward to their week off, Arthur was dreading it. He would be traveling to Finland with his father on a state visit and without Morgana to keep him entertained. She was still recovering and couldn’t attend. In reality, she was basically fine and Arthur was pretty sure this was just her way of getting out of it.

He tried to be grateful for the privileges and opportunities he had but he was going to be bored out of his mind. Arthur was sick of putting on a happy face right now. He just wanted time to stew and feel sorry for himself in the weeks leading up to the most stressful moment of his life. Finland was really not where he wanted to be. 

“Why not? Finland’s great!” Merlin argued. “Their government is young and female!”

“I don’t have anything specifically against Finland, Merlin, I’d just rather be home.”

“I’ll go then! I can dress up like you and all I’d have to do is act like a prat.” Arthur chuckled. 

“By all means.” He had a thought. “Merlin, do you want to come?”

“What? Seriously?”

“Why not?”

“That’s…that’s really nice, Arthur, but I can’t. Thanks anyway.” It only took him a few seconds to realize that Merlin was referring to having to care for his mother, and it made Arthur feel like the prat Merlin said he was. He chose not to say anything.

“I don’t understand why it takes you so long to pack,” Leon said. He was standing in the open doorway as Arthur folded and refolded clothing before putting it in the suitcase on his bed. “Most of what you’re packing you don’t need anyway. 

“Because,” he explained, “I like to do things for myself and I rarely get the chance. Besides, I’m Gwaine’s ride to the airport and he took the mickey out of me for my accent this morning so I’m taking as long as I can.” Leon rolled his eyes. “When are you leaving?”

“Now, I just wanted to come say bye.” He stepped forward and pulled Arthur into a hug. On occasion, Arthur accepted short hugs from his other friends but in general they made him uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to much physical affection and he told himself he didn’t need it. Leon, however, was the exception. He was always allowed to hug Arthur and had done so since childhood. “Have a good trip, mate.”

“Thanks. You too.”

“Text or ring me if you need me, yeah? I’m always around.” Arthur nodded.

“Yeah. Thanks. Same to you.” Behind them, Leon’s door opened and Merlin came out.

“Hi guys. Are you leaving soon, Arthur?”

“Yeah, in a few minutes. You’re going now?”

“Yep! Leon offered me a ride to the train station.” Without warning, he stepped into the room and hugged Arthur. He wasn’t sure what to do so he hugged back and…fuck, it felt nice. He was surprised to find how safe he felt in Merlin’s arms, however cliched and stupid it might have sounded. 

When Merlin ended the hug Arthur opened his eyes, which was what told him he had closed his eyes. Leon was smirking in the doorway and Arthur resisted the urge to punch him.

“Let’s get going, Merlin.”

“Okay. Bye Arthur, have a good trip.”

“Yeah. You too, Merlin.”

Once they left, Arthur finished his packing while thinking about Merlin. God, that hug had been perfect. He wanted one every day for the rest of his life. Merlin was so kind and considerate and he made him feel good in a way no one else ever had before.

Arthur kept thinking about his old crushes, trying to convince himself it was the same thing but it wasn’t and he knew it. There was something about him that was different.

Finland suddenly didn’t seem so bad. Merlin had spent the last two days talking about all his favorite parts of their government and how amazing a country it was. Just because he couldn’t come with Arthur didn’t mean Arthur couldn’t bring him something special back. He didn’t know what it would be yet but there had to be something extraordinary the heir apparent to the British throne could get for him that someone else might not be able to.

He found himself wondering what Merlin might think of some of the state gifts he would receive if he were Prince Consort of Wales. And where the hell had that come from? Marriage? He wasn’t even dating Merlin! Nor would he ever because Merlin wasn’t interested in him like that. It was an unrealistic dream and he needed to get over it as quickly as possible.

Maybe a week away from Merlin would do him some good.

“Arthur, are you all right?” Uther asked. He was sitting across from him on the plane, for once putting aside his work to speak to his son. Arthur had been gazing out the window and daydreaming when he asked the question.

“Hmm?”

“I asked if you were all right.”

“Oh. Yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I was lost in thought.” Uther stared at him quizzically, as if sizing him up. It made Arthur want to squirm, but there was a definite look of concern in his father’s eyes.

“What about?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You know…” Uther trailed off. His hands ran up and down his thighs before settling on his knees. If it was anyone else, Arthur would say he was nervous, but the only times he had ever seen his father nervous were the day Morgana came to live with them and the day of her accident. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I know I haven’t exactly been the most approachable person in the past, but you're my son and you’re going through a difficult time.”

Arthur hadn’t felt like he could talk to his father about any emotions he was experiencing since he had been six and wandered into his father’s room after a nightmare, only to be scolded for it. Maybe it was because he missed it and maybe it was that he truly needed someone to talk to, but he felt compelled to tell his father the truth.

“Is it about next month? It’s completely understandable that you’re nervous.”

“It’s not that. Or, well, not that entirely.”

“Then what?”

Arthur mirrored his father’s earlier action and ran his hands up and down his thighs for a moment. This was either going to be supremely awkward or…yeah, all right, it was definitely going to be supremely awkward.

“I…have a bit of a crush.” He immediately regretted his childish terminology. Uther just chuckled.

“Is this your first?”

“What? No, this one just feels…different.”

“Good different?” He nodded. “Right. Is it someone who knows?”

“Yes.”

Uther looked nervous again. “Is it Gwaine?”

“No!” Arthur laughed at the thought. “Absolutely not. Never in a million years.”

“Thank goodness. I don’t know if I would have been able to handle it. Who? Lancelot then?”

“No, Father, it’s isn’t any of them.”

“But you said he knows.”

“Yes. Leon got a new roommate this year and he’s started spending time with us…”

“You told him?”

“No, he found out, but I’m relieved he knows. This way I can talk about next month with my mates and I don’t have to worry about if he’s around.”

“How did he find out?”

“The night of Morgana’s accident Gwaine and Leon were whispering and Merlin overheard.”

Uther raised an eyebrow. “Merlin. His name is Merlin?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s a bit ridiculous.” He stroked the tan leather of the seat, seeking reassurance from the warmth of the material soaked in sunlight from out the window. “Anyway, I’m…I’m a bit infatuated with him, actually.”

“Does he know?”

“No. At least I think he doesn’t. I hope he doesn’t.”

“Why? If he’s your friend he won’t mind. He doesn’t care that you’re gay, does he?”

“No, he’s gay too.”

His father smiled. “Are you going to ask him out?”

“No!” Arthur shook his head emphatically. “No, he’d never say yes and it would ruin our friendship and it would be humiliating.”

“And you’d rather be miserable?”

“I’d rather be miserable with his friendship than without.”

“You really like this boy then?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you think he doesn’t like you similarly?” Arthur shrugged. “Arthur, you have many wonderful qualities. You’re kind, intelligent, insightful, very handsome.”

“He’s kinder, more intelligent, more insightful, and extremely handsome.”

Uther smiled again. “You know, you sound exactly the same way I did when I first met your mother.”

Arthur froze. His father almost never mentioned Ygraine and when he did, Arthur was careful not to ask too many questions because Uther quickly closed back up if he did. It was like trying not to frighten a small animal when it came to that particular subject. This time, however, he was smiling, and not in the sad way he sometimes did. This smile was more amused and sentimental.

“You did?”

“Oh, yes. I was flustered and could barely speak coherently when she was around. When I finally got up the courage to ask her to go on a date with me, she told me that she had been interested in me nearly as long as I’d been interested in her.” Arthur drank in every morsel of information he could get about her and memorized it easily. He would write it down in the special notebook he had reserved for it later. “Maybe your Merlin is the same.”

“He isn’t. He hates posh things and the monarchy and he constantly calls me on my privilege, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it means he definitely doesn’t think of me that way. I’d be shocked if it’s even crossed his mind.”

“Your mother was like that too.”

“Really?”

“Yes. She absolutely hated the idea of a monarchy and wanted it done away with. Eventually she changed her mind and decided the pride it brought Britain was positive as long as we had no power.” Uther chuckled softly. “I can still picture her in the library at university, trying to keep her voice down as she lectured me about the consent of the governed.

“Back then she always wore these oversized turtlenecks and she had thick, rectangular glasses. For Christmas of our first year I bought her a new turtleneck and she said that’s when she started liking me in that way.”

“Because of a turtleneck?”

“Because I hadn’t bought her something expensive and posh. I got her something that reminded me of her.”

“That’s…very sweet, Father.”

“Mm, yes. My point is, you have no way of knowing until you try. I’m not saying you're necessarily wrong but it’s worth taking a shot. I took one and you’re here because of it.”


End file.
